Hi everyone
I have been reading through these forums for a couple of days and now I feel ready to post.
I went to my Doctor 2 weeks ago as I had noticed my left breast had what I can only explain as a dip in the left side. she examined me and said although she couldn’t feel anything I had to go back in a month. I left the surgery quite happy thinking it’s just me.
I got a bit of a shock the following week when I received an appointment for the breast clinic and a letter from my Doctor explaining that she felt I should be referred.
I attended the clinic on my own as I felt sure everything would be ok, unfortunately the ultrasound picked up a lump,which the consultant couldn’t feel. I had a core biopsy and I should get a call tomorrow to go in Thursday for the results.
The first couple of days I just wanted to curl into a ball, and hearing my husband crying next to me when he thought I was asleep nearly broke my heart. I’m trying to stay strong for my kids as I don’t want them worrying, and then if the results come back that it is cancer what do I tell them?
After reading through a lot of the posts I admire how strong alot of you are and what you are going through but I’m so scared.
Hi Ally
From reading other posts you can see most of us say this is the hardest time. I too had a referral but thought all would be ok but got the news I had bc and just fell apart. Bit of a shock for the family as i am usually the strong one.
Just take one day at a time and but cry if you want to. All the emotion you are going through is normal, strength comes later when you know what you are up against. Here’s wishing for you it will be a huge sigh of relief tomorrow.
Is there someone your hubby could talk to? We all need this at times.
Sending you hugs and positive vibes
Ali.
x
I just got my results this morning and as expected BC. Funnily enough I feel calmer now everything has been confirmed. Had a little tear when I phoned hubby but know whats in front of me now.
Take one day at a time.No doubt when I have to tell my sons I will go to pieces. We are living abroad and it will make it all the harder for them as they cant see me. But we will all face it together and the days will get better even if we dont think they are. Take care we are all here for you
Hi Ally,
The waiting really is unbearable, I thought I would never get through it. Telling your children will be hard, but kids are stronger than you think.
Take someone with you when you go for your results, I was certain mine would be clear, unfortunately I was wrong.
A lot of people on here are very strong, some of us not so.
I hope it all goes ok for you and will be thinking of you on Thursday.
x
Thank you so much for all your kind comments. I still havent heard and feel myself getting more anxious as time goes on.
Alicats unfortunately my husband doesn’t have any family to talk to, but I’m hoping he will talk to his friends at work who he has known for a long time.
With regards to my kids as the youngest are 15, 12 and 10 if it is bad news I think I will have to be celective in what I tell them.
Thanks again and my thoughts are with you all.
Ally x
Hi Ally I’ve just been diagnosed with BC and went yesterday to get results from my MRI scan, the mass is bigger tha they thought, about 3 cms but I’m sill feeling possitive. I go in fpor mastectomy on 8th November and then have rest of my treatment after. Keep your chin upx and keep in touch. karen
Hi, really understand why you are so worried about telling your kids, it was my first concern after getting my dx. The youngest were 8&10, the eldest 20 at uni. However, we kept it simple but truthful, used the word cancer and much to my surprise they have coped with it all very well. Take a day at a time, waiting to hear is awful, hopefully you will hear soon. Kids are very resilient and adapt quickly! X
Hi Ally
At this waiting for results point my eldest girl was at uni in Durham and the youngest going though AS exams. As we live in Devon us oldies decide to keep the news from the younger generation and those that overheard conversations were told there was an electronic news blackout until my eldest was home. Then with the help of my sister in law I explained about lumps, ops and treatment which mean we wouldn’t be able to go on holiday this year but I would be around to annoy/embarass them for many years to come. Both took the news in different ways and the hospital helped with talking to my daughters and offered great support. If needed then there is bound to be someone who will offer support to your hubby, macmillan offer great support services I know,
Fingers still crossed for you,
Ali.
x
Just to let you know I got my results and it is cancer. Think the consultant said it was low grade. I have opted for a lumpectomy hopefully I will be in for op beginning of November.
The wait was the worse part I actually felt relief when I was told as being a pessimist I imagined the worst. Saying that once I have the op and start the treatment I might feel different.
We decided to tell the kids, who are 15, 12 and 10, as I didn’t want to be whispering around them, they seem to have taken it ok and they know I will answer any question they have.
I feel this is the start of a long and hard journey but at the moment I feel positive.
I am sorry to read about your diagnosis, in addition to the valuable support you have here our helpline is open weekdays 9-5 and Sat 9-2 on 0808 800 6000, here you can share your concerns and use a listening ear.
BCC have published a newly diagnosed information/resource pack which you can order via this link:
You may also find our ‘Talking to children’ and ‘In it together’ (designed for partners) publications useful too, you can read, order or download copies here:
Hi Ally - I’ve only just seen this thread - so sorry it wasn’t better news for you, but hang in there - and you’ll get a lot of support from everyone on here.
I have four kids, 16, 14, 7 and 6, so I know exactly how you felt about telling them… my first reaction on dx was ‘omg, I have 3 daughters… I wanted them to inherit the HOUSE’ <grin>, and 2nd thought was ‘how do I tell them?’. They all took it pretty well, eldest dd howled and howled, but hugs got us through it, and I have found that being open and honest with them all has worked well so far (only dx a couple of weeks ago, so time will tell!). I make myself use the word ‘cancer’ frequently, to try to dull the pain that the word causes, and I was very careful to explain that not everyone dies of cancer - I felt I could say that firmly, without making false promises - tho of course I’m not actually planning on going anywhere just yet!! I think that was especially important with the younger ones, as friends at school have relatives who have died, as we all do - and I didn’t want mine being convinced by another child that mum would be underground by christmas…</grin>
If you can find a sense of humour about being the incredible hairless/oneboobed/lumpy/whateverfits woman… then share that with your kids - if you can laugh (even if it’s just on the outside) then they will laugh with you, and keep those communication lines open.
Bless you, so sorry you had to be in this situation along with the rest of us. Hang on in there