Awaiting treatment plan

Hi everyone,


I’ve just signed up to the forum as I’m finding this all such a lonely experience. I’ve been mostly keeping things together so far, but finally, today…cannot stop crying.


I’m 44 years old and was diagnosed with stage 1/grade 2 (invasive ductal) cancer on 10th February, four weeks after being referred to the breast clinic. This has since been upgraded to grade 3. I was originally referred to the clinic without knowing I even had a lump - was just generally worried as my breasts were very very itchy. (In fact, I was paranoid, as my husband’s first wife died of breast cancer.) So it was quite unexpected when a small lump was found during examination at the clinic, and I had a mammogram (clear) and ultrasound (clear) plus needle biopsy the same day.


A month later, I went carefree back to the clinic expecting to hear the great news that the biopsy was fine. (I even remember feeling like a bit of a time-waster for just being there.) But the results were not clear, and i was told an operation, followed probably by radiation, would be needed. I had the operation 2 weeks later, following an MRi scan.


The operation was fine - not pleasant, but fine. I was suprised at how little pain was involved. Also, the sentinal node was clear.


Two weeks later (last week), I had the stitches out (massive relief!) and was told that the margins were clear. But I also learned that pathology had upgraded the tumour grade 3, and that chemotherapy would be  needed, along with radiotherapy and tamoxifen.


I later noticed from the pathology report that there was also some lymphovascular invasion - this is really frightening me and I want to crack on with chemo (etc) as soon as posssible, but my oncology appointment is still TEN DAYS away. I also have concerns that the margins were very small, and am desperate for clarification from a consultant.


I was due to see a counsellor last Friday morning, as my husband and i are both in need in of some emotional support… but the counsellor cancelled just as we were en route, and I’ve been feeling pretty crushed ever since. Meanwhile, some of my best/oldest friends seem to be keeping a wide berth; other friends have been great but mostly I’m feeling very scared and isolated, losing my mind. I’ve always been strong, independent & calm, but suddenly I find myself becoming a complete emotional wreck. 


Of course what I now realise is that no one can imagine what this is like, unless it’s happened/is happening to them. That’s why I’m here - just reading through some of the posts has already helped. I hope that at least one day I might be able to somehow help and support anyone else who might be going through the same thing.


I wish you all strength & good luck on your journeys.



Hi Jayne

Welcome to the BCC discussion forums where I am sure you will get lots of good, honest support from the many informed users of this site and know that they will be along soon to help.

Could I suggest that you give our helpline team a ring and talk through with them your worries/concerns, the staff are here to support you through this both practically and emotionally.  Lines open again tomorrow morning at 9am through to 5pm (weekdays) and 10-2 Saturdays.  0808 800 6000, calls are free from landlines and most mobiles.

Take care,

Jo, Moderator

Hi Jayne,


We seem to be at similar timeframes. I was diagnosed Feb and have had surgery and am now waiting for the radiotherapy treatment dates.


I waltzed into a routine mammogram appointment in Dec and was called back for further tests in Jan. I took the news reasonably well though I’ve certainly had my moments since. I think it takes a while for everything to sink in from initially not believing it and the rush to get surgery done. Having a bit of a lull between surgery and the next stages of treatment means you time to catch up with it all and no doubt have serious emotions kick in.


I would imagine there is also plenty of complicated emotions, memories and worry involved due to your husbands first wife’s breast cancer.


Having the counselling session cancelled must have been an awful blow.


I’ve had counselling years ago for a life crisis and it really did help so I sincerely hope you get another session arranged and it happens and helps.


I, and I’m sure others, will say do not worry about being upset. You are allowed to be. And don’t take your friends wide berth to heart. They are probably scared of what to say, what to do or maybe even think that they don’t want to bother you when you have so much on your plate. It’s a minefield and most people can’t do right for doing wrong. I have some friends that have never contacted by text/phone, we just meet up at running club but who text every day or so asking how I am… And to be honest I sometimes find their texts too intrusive (but I know they mean well). And I have other friends who have told me they have not kept contacting me as I’ve probably got loads of people doing so… And I sometimes find their distance upsetting… it all depends on what sort of a day I’m having.


With regards to wanting clarification about results can you not call the breast clinic, have you been allocated a breast care nurse, and ask for an appointment to talk things through again?


Keep in touch on the forum and be gentle with yourself.

Best wishes to you and your husband.

Jayne, we all know the what you are going through regards your fears and worries, I am newly diagnosed at 46 in the last week and feel like I’ve had a bomb dropped on my perfect life, I am nowhere near even beginning to come to terms with it and just want it all to go away and let me get back to my perfect life, so far I’ve been told I have tubular grade 1 cancer which is apparently a good one to have and very treatable, I’m due a lumpectomy next Friday and will take it from there but I feel like my life is in hold at the minute and just am willing these next few weeks to be over, please feel free to PM me if you wish to talk further, I would really appreciate it ️Xx

Hi ladies.
I get my treatment plan tomorrow. …
But so understand some of the frustration with friends and OH.
Had a huge fall out with my mother who seems to think i am now an invalid and refuses to accept I can work through this.
And am trying not to fall out with OH who has happily closed down his business to care for me … and is acting like he’s retired!! He’s 54 and we are not financially secure.
Fully understand the humiliation feeing that would come from saying the OH has let us down.
Just not ready to face it head on yet!
Thanks for listening