Back after just under 5 years

Hello Everyone,


I last posted here in 2013 when my wife was diagnosed at Stage 3A and starting chemo.


All went well for 4 years and no evidence of desease (NED) was declared at every check.  


A month ago my wife told me of back pain after keeping it to herself for a month because she had falled over some chairs at work.  I insisted she mention it to her oncologist.


She got it checked out and last week we found out that we are now Stage IV with bone metastases in one vertebrae.  A huge shock as the doctors start to talk about palliative care from now on.  We are positive people and fighters, we got this early and she was in treatment the same week we found out.  The rollercoaster begins again.


My wife had Radio Frequency Ablation (RFA) yesterday on that bone and we will find out the results soon.  Next stop more chemo etc.  May be back for advice.


If your partner complains of anything, please push them to get checked.


Anyone in a similar situation want to share good news?  We could do with some.  We know everyone is different but it helps to read those positive stories.





Sorry to hear about your wife, Paul, it’s another shock to deal with.

I don’t have a secondary diagnosis, but there are certainly many others here who have had a stage 4 diagnosis for many years & are getting on with life. 

If you want to, do go to the ‘Living with secondary breast cancer’ board, where there is loads of support from the other ladies there. There is a thread ‘Bone mets, please join in’ in the Living with Breast cancer section where there is lots of support & chat.

Wishing you both well with it all. 

ann x


I lost my world, my best friend and my soul mate two days ago.  


She had a problem with the treatment she was receiving (either faslodex/palbociclib and/or targeted radiotheraphy) that caused a problem in her Cerebral Spinal Fluid.  She had been in and out of hsopital for a month with headaches and had blood patch treatments.


Last Monday, she went in for the final corrective blood patch and should have been out the same day.  We never got to speak again.  I was expecting her home on Monday evening.  She was unconscious from then on.


The difficult thing is that the cancer didn’t kill her directly, it was the treatment that she couldn’t tolerate.  It caused liquid on her brain and we had to turn the life support machines off as she was completely unconscious (gladly unaware) and totally brain damaged within the week. She didn’t suffer, it was too soon and too quick.


I feel so cheated of my perfect partner.


Tell them you love them often and mean it, you may not get a chance again.





Such tragic new Paul I am so very sorry. You are right about making the most of every moment with our loved ones, life can be so unbelievably cruel.