So here I am with a third primary, 15 years after the 2nd. Just to get things straight, this is immeasurably better than a recurrence of a treated cancer or secondaries. And for anyone going through this for the first time, yes, it’s possible, but it isn’t common. Note that nearly 15 years without cancer. I’m part of the cohort whose ‘final’ screening mammo got missed out and then I had to cancel a self-referral because of Covid, and after that life and grandchildren put mammograms out of mind until I saw and felt a ‘dimple’ one morning.
Oddly enough, this is the first time I have had an observable symptom, the ‘dimple’ and small lump which seemed to appear out of nowhere. No 1, still a DCIS, was found in a routine screening mammogram and no 2, stage 2, was found in the other breast in my second annual check up. No 3 is the same breast as no 2 and as that was a lumpectomy plus rads (plus chemo and anastrozole), no 3 is a mastectomy and anastrozole or something similar, because I can’t have any more radiotherapy, set for 4 June.
Am I happy with this? Of course not. Asking why me? Of course. Frightened–yes, but the CT scan was clear and my local Breast Care nurses are wonderful women you can turn to when anxiety about results gets on top of you.
Is there anyone else around who has had repeated primaries over the years? I remember a couple of people when I was here before.
And does anyone else with repeats or recurrence feel that they are somehow letting the side down?
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By the way, I think I was just Mezzomama back then.
Hi @mezzomamma1
Sorry you find yourself here for a third time but glad you’ve got wonderful nurses supporting you.
I hope your mastectomy goes well. I had my first mastectomy when I got a recurrence in 2024 only just over 3 years after my initial diagnosis. Then I had a risk reducing second mastectomy 9 months later. I’m all recovered and doing well now though.
I’m sure they’ll take good care of you. I found the drain the most uncomfortable part but once that was out it improved a lot.
I’m not to sure what you mean by letting the side down. I do know that I desperately don’t want it to come back for a third time though and hope I can make it to the 5 years clear mark this time. 
Let us know how your surgery goes and will be praying you get good results. 
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Hi Kazaroo
I’m really glad you have recovered and are doing well. Long may it continue!
About letting the side down–no, that’s not a sensible feeling, but it includes an irrational feeling that a new primary after all that treatment is ‘not good enough’ on my part, considering all the surgeon, oncologist, nurses, radiographers and others did for me. And that we should be ‘success stories’ to encourage others, while hearing about new primaries, recurrences and secondaries can frighten people coming into the BC world for the first time. And of course, the feeling that my body, and particularly my hormones, are letting me down. It’s not a rational feeling and I know it isn’t, but it sneaks up from time to time.
But recurrences can happen and new primaries can happen, so it’s important to attend all check-ups, notice any changes, and attend screening mammograms after discharge.
All the best to you.
Mezzomama
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Hi
Doing this on my phone so not really sure I’m replying to the right bit but fingers crossed!
so mostly I felt a big surge of understanding to the “letting the side down”. I was first diagnosed in 2003 when I was 38. Had a recurrence two years ago, same cancer, same breast (which I’d had a skin sparing mastectomy on). I’m here now because of Kylie saying that she was “a shell of a person” after her second diagnosis. I still feel like that. But first time around I made it all make sense, I was the poster girl - young and pretty (not that I thought it then), it changed my life in all sorts of ways, I worked as a volunteer for 10 years and I gave people hope. I met and married the love of my life!
Once I’d gotten through the shock of that recurrence, I really felt like I’d let the side down- so I totally understand. Maybe there’s a new side though? We have realised one of the scariest thoughts “what if it comes back?” and with (I hope) some optimism of a life after cancer recurrence.
it’s a complicated thing though, I had my parents first time around and my mum particularly really helped me. Some of the difficulty this time is missing her (she died 12 years ago), even though I’m glad she’s not around for this (in terms of the pain it would cause her). I’d just love five minutes of her wisdom and that incredible love that you only get from your mam!
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Oh yes–last time around, it was more encouraging than frightening to hear from a couple of women who had recurrences/new primaries 10 years and more apart and were still alive and kicking.
Over the last 10 years at least I’ve been telling people (when appropriate) and posting on social media ‘Hey, I’m still here; x years no evidence of disease!’ So when that changes, it feels like a kind of failure on top of the whole CANCER thing. What do I post now?
I’ve told family and a few others, partly to say when I won’t be able to meet commitments or take on new ones. I thought I would wait for my case review appointment tomorrow to say anything on social media and will take some time over what to say.
My parents were both gone and I was past 60 before I started this particular rocky path. My OH and adult children were helpful, especially during no 2, but I really relied on the friends I made here especially through one particular thread. We still keep in touch from time to time, too.
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