Back on the happy pills

Hi All

I thought I was invicible. Having secured Nolvadex after begging for the best part of a year, I thought I could do it all and came off the citalopram ( Anti depressant ). My main reason was the fact that I couldn’t get through the day without a sleep in the afternoon and I had v blurred eyes. I felt really well for about a week then BANG. Hot flushes like nobody’s business and feeling pre menopausal all the time. Not only have I been crying for England but have felt like killing all those around me quite a bit too. And clumsy?? My God, have nearly thrown several things at the wall in exasperation. Have tripped over the cat, nearly caused several car accidents and can’t remember anything from one day to the next. “It’s just the Tamoxifen”, the bc nurse said when I last spoke to her about 3 months ago. She’s a woman for God’s sake. What’s the “JUST” bit. I have also decided that you shouldn’t be allowed to be a bc nurse until you have experienced hot flushes. Mine hasn’t but confessed to feeling a " bit warm " when I last saw her. Anyway, I have decided that, if I have to feel like this for another 4 years, I would have to swallow my pride and take the happy pills again. Previously, I equated taking anti depressants with being weak willed and “wussy” but it has taken me a week to realise that Tamoxifen, if it does make up feel crap ( forgot to mention the nausea, which is new to me), there is no harm in admitting you can’t cope and getting help where ever you can. Have taken half a dose and will let you know how I get on. If I remember…lol

Debbie
Happy Xmas to everyone too
xxx

Happy Xmas everyone
Debbie
xxx

Hi Debbie

Wussy? Why on earth would you think such a thing if you are taking anything that makes getting through everything so much easier. Why feel like a martyr, feeling ill when you have something that will help you. Please like i once said before if it made me feel better i would walk down the high street with my knickers on my head and waving the union jack. We have enough to cope with and whatever helps us to cope is absolutely fine and dandy.

I also get the nausea after my flushes, was given cyclazine for them but they just knock me out so by 4pm i am fast asleep in the chair, also can’t drive with them, I do use them evenings when i am home but not during the day.
I have just started a new little job 10 hours and i think they would be quite upset if i fell asleep on top of the till!

Hope you get yourself back on track soon and the tablets kick in soon.

Suzy

hi debbie,
wussy…i must be a big one then…take citalopram, diazepam and zolpidem along with my tamoxifen…It gets me through …just…enables me to go to work…and somehow get through each day…I refuse to be a martyr…I would advise anyone to take the ‘‘happy pills’’ if it helps them to get through.
I hope your pills kick in soon.

karen

There are many reports on the net (and they have also been in the press) that anti depressants can reduce the effectiveness of Tamoxifen. Obviously I am no longer allowed to post any links on BCC, but if you are interested in learning more I suggest you google “anti depressants tamoxifen.” It is worth mentioning this to your GP or oncologist, they may change your anti depressants.

Hope you can find the information.

Best wishes

RMW

I am on Citalopram, Diazepam, Temazepam, Zolpidem, and Dosulepin! My GP and Consultant are fully aware of the antidepressents I take. Without them I wouldn’t be able to manage. I suffer from Generalised Anxiety Disorder and have had depression on and off too, all of my life. I’ve been amazingly calm and positive about my breast cancer. I’m really quite proud of myself!

Don’t feel bad that you have to take anti-depressants. Depression is an illness too!

Best of luck,
love,

Jacki xx

Thank you so much everyone. I feel so much better. I think I was getting dragged down by OH mother and sister with their comments. The sister works in the NHS and is one of these strong people who seems to cope with everything thrown at her, including having to get a second job to pay off debts. I think she thinks that taking anti depressants is “giving in”. My m in law was diagnosed with bc a month after I found my lump (except it took me 6 months for me to do something about mine ). She had WLE, rads and Tamoxifen and seems to have sailed through it all with just the occasional hot flush. She doesn’t even know what sort of cancer it was, how big lump was and what grade. I could be really wrong …they might both be putting on a brave face but I don’t seem to be able to function without the citalopram. It’s only 20 mg too but I feel like I have to be superwoman and cope with out. It was like a revelation yesterday when I sudden;y realised that the Tam was making me feel really crap and that I didn’t have to put up with it.

I really hope I haven’t upsert anyone with this posting. My mother tells me to take the pills, do something to distract myself from negative thoughts and stop telling everyone my business and what pills I am on. Have decided that, from today, I am going to take half a citalopram after morning dose of Tam and half after evening one as they really seem to help the hot flushes. Because I have been on them for a year, when I stopped them, I hadn’t realised how much they were helping me until there was no trace of them left in my body. I think 20mg of Citalopram a day is going to be my saviour over the next 4 years.

Rita, I have just read that posting you suggested…and thanks for your pm on other site. It was so helpful, you can’t believe. My consultant wrote to my doctor to tell them to change me to Venoflaxine but she wouldn’t as she said she wasn’t allowed to but that website lists it in the same bracket as Citalopram. I had no idea that anti depressants could help hot flushes until then. Why don’t they tell you??? I really am getting really frustrated by the lack of help available. I feel like I have to do all the work and tell them what I want.

Moan over. I am going away to count my blessings. Thank you again so much for your comments

Merry Xmas everyone

Debbie
xxxxx

Hi All

Dont want to scare anyone as all doctors seem to say different things but my onc told me that they think that the only anti depressant that did not reduce the effect of tamoxifen was venlafaxine. He told me to come off prozac. This is based on new research apparently.

HOWEVER he did stress that the effect of tamoxifen is only reduced in women with a certain gene but you could not have a test to see if you had this gene!! Brilliant!! ANyway because I am Mrs Worry I stopped the prozac which had been brill and started venlafaxine but could not take them due to nausea and palpatations. So now hav e nothing and am very depressed . . . . . .!

Merry Christmas and a happier New Year to all

Alise x

I think it is possible to stop Tamoxifen and go onto Arimidex with the support of your consultant. If you are pre-menopausal I think you would probably have to have Zoladex too… but definately worth having a chat with your consultant.

Good luck

Best wishes

RMW

Hi Alise

God you must feel awful. I took my first pill again yesterday morning and now ( 30+ hours on ), I have just realised that I have had not one single hot flush. I had no idea that they were helping with that side of it and no idea that, without them, I would be so nauseous. There would have to be some substantial evidence for me to prove that they really were interferring and I don’t actually believe much I am told nowadays anyway. My consultant recommends drugs and writes to my doctors who promptly refuse to give me them. Consultant is obviously way out of date. Even the Megace he recommended which made me ill is being withdrawn now leaving a lot of women “high and dry”. My doctor said she couldn’t prescribe venaflaxine as it was a “mind altering drug” but that I could stay on citalopram which is classed the same.

The citalopram was organised for me by a MC Millan nurse who was counselling me for depression and was only meant to be for a short time but it obviously agrees with me. I am already worried about when my repeats run out and I have to see the doctor again which is ridiculous but am scared it will be taken off me. When I look back, I feel very bitter that bc nurse just gave me a leaflet on Tamoxifen and told me I would probably put on weight around my middle. I should have been warned about what it would do to my hormones. It is bad enough having cancer without the treatments making your life a misery

I really don’t know what to advise you to do Alise. I have asked all my doctors if I am ok taking citalopram and they have said yes but you say this research is new. I am going to continue until someone tells me otherwise. I hadn’t realised how bad I felt until I took the drugs again

Love
Debbie
xx

Hi Debbie

It really is a pile of cr*p isn’t it? I too had a small lump 1.4 cms with neg nodes and clear margins but had every conceivable thing thrown at me - WLE full node clearance, 8 x chemo and radiotherapy . I got second degree burns and infection from the radio and the full works of side effects with the chemo only to be told after by my onc “That I probably didn’t need to have had it”! Thanks !

This was all 2 years ago now and am now on tamoxifen but apart from hideous hot flushes I am not too bad on them… I am more forgetfu l but I think that is due to the menopause I was thrown into by the chemo at 42 (another thing they hadn’t explained properly). I REALLY like my onc he is very funny and lets me call him whenever I am worried but sometimes I feel I will never get over all this. I came off prozac on his advice because I do trust him but really need something else.

My Gp has lost the will to live with me because I visit about once a week with the ailment of the day but she doesn’t realise how awful living with this is… She told me it was all in the past now and I HAVE to move on for the sake of my kids and husband but how the hell does she know?

Sorry just felt like a rant!

Take Care

Alise x

Hi Girls,
Just wanted to offer my support and send you a big hug. I haven’t started on tamoxifen yet - start in January!
Debbie - don’t be bullied by your family, either directly or with subtle insinuations that you’re being weak. You do whatever you need to do and tell us all about every last detail. You need to be free to work out your thoughts and worries out loud without censorship!
And Alise - you just keep on bugging your GP and when she runs out of patience switch to someone else in the practice! They have NO IDEA what it’s like or how limiting/destressing some of these symptoms are. Keep on speaking up for what you need.
It’s just so bl**dy hard, without other people making it even harder.
I wish you all a joyful Christmas surrounded by supportive friends (and family if they behave themselves!) and a much better 2008.
Love Jacquie

Thanks Alise and Jacquie

I didn’t have chemo. Had WLE, no sign of spread and neg nodes. Grade 2, 2cm. Told chemo not necessary. Had 15 rads and 4 boosters by which time it was Boxing day and I was more cooked than the turkey. No one can have any idea how agonising it is when the skin under your breast falls off unless it has happened to you. Couldn’t get to see dressing snurse and doctor gave me dressings which I discovered later where self adhesive ( yes he was a man!!!) and I had no skin to stick them to. Then I had months of fungal infections in the form of ringworm, not to mention all the nasties Tamoxifen throws at you. I feel really guilty moaning when I am so much luckier than a lot of others, but they really do not prepare you for the effects of hormone treatment.

Rant as much as you like Alise. Speaking of Xmas, Jacquie, I now have to clean up the wax from the stupid cheap Advent candle my m in law buys every year for us that, despite being trimmed each day, always drips and has now gone all down the wall and all over the carpet. If the hairdryer and iron don’t work, I’m giving up :o(

A very happy xmas to all
Debbie
xx