Back Pain and Anger

Feelin angry right now and need to let off some steam. Diagnosed 5 years ago grade 3 lumpectomy 4 lymph nodes infected. Had chemo, rads and Arimidex. Just about to come off Arimidex in Jan. Got pain in left lower back, down leg and numbness, tingling, pins & needles in left foot. GP has referred me to neurosurgeon specialises in neuro/onc (looked him up). It may be cancer is back or it may be arthritis, sciatica, etc etc. Anyway off for an MRI on Wed but wont get results till back from holiday 12 Nov. Am busy trying to cope with all this and not show that I’m afraid, but OH has just stuck his head in sand and is ignoring the whole thing and today kicked off an argument about nothing and I know its just related to whats going on. I could do with some support right now and I feel really angry about it. My friend died last year becos she had spinal compression and they didnt spot it and she died in six weeks, from being okay. I know he is just worrying about himself and what will happen if I am ill again. Well I’m FED UP! Sorry about the rant - hope you can all understand…wisps

PS feel better already!

Hi Wisps
Just wanted to say - glad you feel better after a rant!

Can’t really offer any words of wisdom - you don’t need me to say “lots of reasons for back pain / leg symptoms etc” - 'cos you know all that. I’ve had all those symptoms - way before my BC Dx - down to discs and “wear and tear” - but having ANY symptoms now automatically sends the brain and the imagination into overdrive!

Hope you are OK, and OH takes his head out of the sand and gives you the support you need.

And there is always loads of support on here - rant away as much as you need.

Hope the MRI goes OK - very noisy, as I’m sure you know, but fingers crossed it puts your mind at rest.
Take care

Tx so much Lizzie, nice to no someone out there is listening. My friends are all bored with it now and bless them, I dont blame them, after all its 5 years on and I should be over it - shouldnt I?

I really appreciate you takin the time to respond.

wisps xx

No probs, Wisps!

Know what you mean about “friends” - there is a definate feeling that you should be “moving on”! Which, I think everyone tries to, you cannot spend every minute thinking “What if?” - but, unless you have been in the situation, you really have no idea what it is like, do you?

Take care

Hi wisps
hope this is some help - a bit different, but I had something similar with my shoulder about 5 years after diagnosis and was very worried (which I think is completely reasonable)and it was an inflammation around a part of my shoulder/top of arm that nerves and muscles had to pass through. Because of the inflammation they got trapped and it led to problems that seemed complex. Don’t know if I explained that very well, but wanted to offer positive possibilities while understanding that its never simple, once you’ve had a bc dx, things aren’t the same as they were, are they. Its hard for people to understand if they haven’t ‘been there’. I will be thinking of you and would love to hear how you get on
best wishes
monica xx

Tx so much Monica, I really appreciate your comments. No no-one understands like we all do here. Won’t get results till 12 Nov so will let you know how I get on. x

Hi Wisps

It’s quite understandable that you are feeling angry, worried and fed up. I was diagnosed with bone mets in 2002, two and a half years after being diagnosed with DCIS. Waiting for results is always extremely stressful and something I think the health care professionals don’t understand at all.

Is there any possibility of getting the results before 12th November? You mention you are going on holiday, is this immediately after the MRI scan? I think I’m right in saying that at my hospital all scans are reviewed by a radiologist almost immediately after they are done so that anything urgent can be picked up. Perhaps you could have a word with your BCN to see if she can move things on a bit for you.

Hope the MRI goes OK and that your OH takes his head out of the sand soon. (My OH tends to do the same initially - over the years I’ve come to realise that burying himself into his work is his way of coping and that he needs to get his own head around things before he can support me.)

Thinking of you
Love Judith

Hi Judith and thanks for your support. So sorry to hear that you have bone mets, I hope you don’t mind me asking what the symptoms were. I’m the sort of person who needs to know everything to try to deal with it.

I will ask tomorrow about getting the results early altho if they are bad it may be that I don’t want to know them until I get back! My BCN left some years ago and I have never had one since altho it is possible to ring the department to talk to someone if you need to, so I will probably do that - thanks for the advice.

OH has been getting steadily angrier both with me and everything around him so I’m letting him get on with it and thinking of myself! Had a good chat with a close friend today and she has helped me clear my head a bit. Just feelin a bit depressed all round but I guess that’s to be expected.

Will let you know if I know any more myself. Thanks again x

Hi Wisps

Hope the MRI went OK yesterday. I actually didn’t have any symptoms to suggest I had bone mets when they were diagnosed. I had enlarged lymph glands in my neck and a biopsy revealed breast cancer cells. Following this I had a bone scan, chest x-ray and liver ultrasound. Chest and liver were clear (and continue to be so) but bone scan showed widespread mets. As you can imagine this came as a complete shock. I had FEC chemo and then started on Herceptin, Arimidex and Bonefos. That was in 2002 and it is really only during the last 2-3 years that I’ve had symptoms and problems from the bone mets.

Having said all that I think it’s important to remember that this horrible disease appears to treat everyone differently and everyone has a different story to tell.

Know what you mean about delaying the results … whatever happens I do hope that you enjoy your holiday. Last year I delayed starting chemo for about 3 weeks so that I could go away and get things sorted out in my head beforehand. That was my personal way of coping.

Glad that talking to your close friend helped a bit.
Take care and be kind to yourself.
Love Judith

Hi Wisps,
your feelings are fully understandable and those of your husband normal.
We live with the time bomb ticking away slowly. Please ring for a bc nurse they tend to help to get things moving and getting info to you more quickly, it is important that they know how you are feeling.
I f I can help in any way just let me know your hubby will be full of fear and dread just as you are.
Enjoy the holiday.
Love Debsxxx

Well had the MRI yesterday, they brought it forward from the evening to a lunchtime appointment which was better. The guys doing the MRI told me to ring the Neurosurgeon’s sec to try to get early results, which I did a little later in the afternoon.

The sec is trying to get the doc to have a look and they will ring me before I go on holiday “if they need to” - sounds ominous! Still hoping that its arthritis or degeneration, when I woke yest my neck had joined in the fun as well, and I have upped the Naproxen as having difficulty sleeping.

OH is now totally ignoring me which is fun! He just can’t cope with the situation, I guess he will be okay once the results are thro. Otherwise could be a very strange holiday!

Thanks for your comments Judith, its so true that this disease is very unpredictable.

So nice of you to take the trouble to contact me Debs - I have been following your story for a long time and my thoughts have been with you on many occasions. I will contact the bc nurse tomorrow, just so someone else is also in the picture.

Will let you know once I get some results.

love wisps xxx

Hi Wisps
Glad you’ve got the MRI out of the way, and I have everything crossed for you. Hearing that your neck has joined in, makes me lean towards the Arthur Wrightis feller - wear and tear on the old joints!

Hope you don’t mind me saying - but be careful with the naproxen - do you take a drug alongside it to make sure it doesn’t upset your stomach? Naproxen (along with other pain killers in that group - including ibuprofen) can irritate the stomach lining and cause problems, and should be taken alongside a drug such as lansaprazole, omeprazole - or something else ending in “azole”! If you have any symptoms of indigestion - knock off the naproxen and talk to the GP.

Let us know how you get on, - if we don’t hear from you before your hols - have a great time -you deserve it,
Lizzie XX