I had a right mastectomy back in Aug and have been off work since start of July. I don’t have anymore active treatments as Im taking hormone tablets now. I work as a manager in quite a high pressure role and environment.
As much as I would like some normality, I don’t want to go back to my role. I have felt disappointed in my company as to how they have treated me since I have been off, lack of support from colleagues, manager not bothering etc.
What is everyone’s experience of work post treatment? Is it back to normal life for everyone or not? xxx
I work for the NHS and in 2019 I was in a junior management role and had a terrible manager who could not do her own job and consequently her underlings of which I was one were taking up the slack. I was regularly working way above my contracted hours including a lot of night shifts at short notice and attending a lot of meetings on my time off . When my parents health collapsed I tried to support them and carry on as before though I knew I needed help but my manager would not follow the recommendations of our OH Dept ( even though she referred me to them )which was to allow me to temporarily reduce my hours a bit - unless I took a pay cut . The fact that there were other people already on the same band as me working less hours and with less responsibility didn’t count for anything.
The combination of family related and work related stress broke my health. I got a bad cold which didn’t shift for over a month and the constant coughing sneezing use of cold remedies and the stress sent my blood pressure through the roof and I had a retinal haemorrhage which has permanently affected my eyesight , I had to take nearly 8 months off and my manager didn’t follow the sickness protocol which left me isolated and unsupported . I knew I would not be able to go back to the same role because I could no longer do the amount of computer work required of me . Fortunately for my whole Dept. my manager decided to leave - I could not have gone back to work there if she had still been in charge .
When I did go back with a new manager I had a phased return , was given reasonable adjustments eg no more nights shifts and I was lucky enough to be coming up to 55 and was able to take a retire and return and returned to work at a lower band just 2 days a week but with my pension on top I’m earning the same as before - but even if I had to manage on less that would be preferable to the stress I was having at work before . You could say I’m very lucky to be in that position but I live in fear of something happening to my other eye and I do wonder if all the stress incurred has a hand in starting my cancer growing .
Having already been given reasonable adjustments I didn’t need anymore of those after my breast cancer and went back to my same job 2 days a week which I really now enjoy. My perspective on life has changed a lot , material things have become less important to me and I am enjoying being able to do simpler things that I couldn’t do when I was having cancer treatment - and for my eye for that matter .
Cancer and cancer treatments comes under the Disabilities Act as does my eye problem so you are entitled to reasonable adjustments and a phased return but I would say that if you’re not happy there and there’s a chance to make a change then it’s worth trying it as your health is more important . It doesn’t sound to me as though you have had an unreasonable amount of time off either .
Go through your finances and see if you have any options either within your job ( can you work from home some of the time ? ) or something different . MacMillan are good for financial and employment advice .
Wishing you all the best we whatever you decide xx
I think it really depends on you, your role and your organisation. I worked between surgeries, chemo and ongoing treatments and really wanted to, it kept me going. I didn’t have much time off. I supported member of member of my team to have a year off with a phased return, that worked for her and she has been settled back since. These are conversations with your manager, OH and HR if needed to see what adjustments can be made to support your return. I am an NHS nurse and mostly sickness return is very supportive. Best wishes.
I thought it might be helpful if I shared some of my breast cancer work experience
I was diagnosed in July 2021 and work as a solicitor. I had suffered a horrible experience when I was pregnant with my daughter in 2009 which I now appreciate the full impact that had had on me and the consequences of feeling very unfulfilled in my job and I really didn’t enjoy it.
My oncologist (a lady whose husband does the same job as me and perhaps a bit younger than me) said to me about returning to work “if it was me I wouldn’t return until I was crawling the walls and there’s nothing else I’d rather be doing” which proved to be absolutely the right thing for me.
My treatment had involved a lumpectomy and radiotherapy and the tablets, so physically I wasn’t too bad, I did feel fatigue but learned to manage my energy rather than my time: something I still do, I only do the things I want to do rather than the things I think I should do
In my initial return I found it hard particularly with my immediate manager who sought to micromanage me, however my experience of my diagnosis gave me the courage to challenge her behaviour and she was mortified as her behaviour was coming very much from a place of concern (we are the same age and she very much acknowledges now how sometimes her manner can be interpreted not just by me but by others in our team and she now leans on me at times) she is also the lady that has been instrumental in me being able to banish the effects of my experience of 2009
Almost 3 years on I am actually enjoying my job more than I could ever thought possible, it has taken time, and at times it’s been hard but breast cancer has made me look at life very differently and my work life has improved hugely as a result
I guess I’m saying make the decision that is right for you, don’t fear asserting yourself and making sure it works for you, you may find a Moving Forward course could help with managing how you do this
Thank you all so much for your replies. It’s really helpful.
I think I’m just really disappointed in how colleagues have not been in touch whilst I have been off work. The thought of returning back to my role and the office fills me with dread and anxiety. Perhaps it’s not so bad, but I often question if I really want to work for this company
perhaps this is now time for a change?
I’m currently under going counselling and having ongoing physio. I’m hoping the counselling will
help me move on from what’s happened to me and the cancer diagnosis. It’s all very difficult but I’m going to try as hard as I can to accept support so I can progress with my life. I’m 42 with 2 young daughters so I feel that I need to move on soon.
I wonder if people at work have perhaps not been in contact because they are worried about seeming to pressure you around when you might be back in work. I know my husband has worried about this when checking in with someone on his team who was on long term sick leave.
I hope the counselling helps you sort out what is right for you going forward.
