After 6 months off, I am going through a phased return to work.
Work have been amazing during my time off by being incredibly supportive financially and by giving me the space I needed to recover.
After 6 months I felt it was the right time to go back, but having now started that process I am finding it incredibly hard to return.
When I am there I love it, and it feels like my old life rushing back, but when I am not there I hate the thought of being there, and for the intensity of work life returning. I am on light duties at the moment but know at some point the real state of work has to kick in.
I have a 9 year old daughter, and throughout her life Iāve not taken a huge time away from work, so I think that this past 6 months with her might be part of my difficulty in going back full time, but financially there is not the option to go part time, (even if that was on offer).
I think what doesnāt help is that I am only just starting to really appreciate what Iāve been through. I donāt feel like I can ask for further time off, but I donāt feel like I have dealt with anything, so am not in the right mental state to be of any use to anyone.
Does anyone have advice on their return to work, and also has anyone ever changed path on their return to work?
I donāt want to ask for the world from my company, but I am also not sure I can go back to my old work life again, with the way my head is now.
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Hi Doodlebug, Iām not sure what treatment you have had but 6 months off doesnāt sound like itās enough for you.
I ended up taking 14 months, I decided I owed it to myself and my employer to make sure I was ready-physically and emotionally.
I also decided that I was prepared to make some changes in my life that meant working part-time was an option. Unfortunately my employer was not supportive of this at that that time. I resigned and took another job, working 3 days a week from home. This was exactly what I needed at the time. After 2 years of working from home I decided I was ready to āget back out thereā. I had had treatment during the pandemic and had become a complete germophobe!
I am now back with my previous employer, working 3 days a week from the office.
I guess what Iām trying to say is that there are generally optionsā¦maybe a hybrid working routine, or condensed working hours or a change of path.
The right live/work balance is so important and we need to prioritise our health, both physically and mentally.
Lynne xx
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Thanks for your reply Lynne.
Iām so pleased that youāve found a working pattern that works for you.
My employer is being very understanding with my return to work, and I suppose there is a large chunk of me that doesnāt want to throw their kindness in their face by asking for more! Iād love to go part time, but I canāt imagine them wanting to pay me the same to do that, and unfortunately as I am the main breadwinner in our house, I have to keep that level of financials coming in.
I am not sure about how much time away from work I need. It does feel like I need more, but I am also not sure whether I can say at this point how much more time I do need.
I am also not sure whether my issue is the return to work or the processing of whatās just happened to me. Perhaps I could cope with a return to work better if I looked into counselling. Something for me to think about.
I was diagnosed in September 2024, had surgery at the start of October, started 12 weeks of chemo in November, and had a course of radiotherapy at the start of March.
I started hormone therapy last month, and Iām in my third week of letrozole. So itās all quite fresh!
Thanks again for listening. Itās much appreciated xx
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@d00dlebug I was diagnosed in May 2023 then had lumpectomy followed by chemo and Herceptin, then radiotherapy and hormone blockers. I taught in a primary school covering teachers while they planned and prepared their lessons. I didnāt work for 18 months while on treatment due to infection risk. There was an option of taking redundancy and I was 55 so I took it. Itās the best thing I ever did. The hormone treatment is hard, I was on Letrozole for a year and with Herceptin so didnāt know which was causing the issues. I have since swapped to Exemestane and some of the side effects have reduced. I also had a referral to a menopause specialist which we are all enetitled to.
I have been on Personal Independence Payment (PIP) and Employment and Support Allowance( ESA) since my chemo and statutory sick pay finished. This extra money has helped with the additional costs I incur with a cancer diagnosis. PIP is not means tested and ESA can be means tested or contribution only. ESA can also be claimed while working part time. See gov.uk website
Some links that may help.
Dr Peter Harvey wrote āAfter the treatment finishes then what?
Take care and do what is best for you. After the treatment ends, itās not the end for us. Be kind to yourself.
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@d00dlebug - Please donāt feel you have to rush into going back to work , six months is not a long time off when you take into account the absolute physical attack on the body cancer treatment is .
I read somewhere that each cycle of chemo takes your body two months to recover from ā¦
I had surgery in September and chemo finished in Feb. Iām now on three weekly herceptin infusions but Iāve had no choice but to return to work as I run my own business . However bookings are largely weekends and thatās been enough . I couldnāt imagine attempting to go back to work full time for an employer .
@naughty_boob has posted some great links , you should be able to claim ESA if youve paid your NI contributions in the past two tax years and it might help take the pressure off so you donāt need to worry about rushing back to work x
Arty1
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Hi @d00dlebug
Youāve got to do what is right for you mentally, physically and financially. Itās not easy getting that balance right but you will know when itās not right.
Maybe counselling would help, it is a massive amount to process what has happened to you and maybe claiming
some benefits would give you some wiggle room financially.
I still struggle mentally and I am nearly 4 years on from my first diagnosis but also very fortunate to work for a small family run business that are incredibly understanding. I only work 2 days a week as well as thatās all I can cope with.
I did change job path on my return as well. I used to work in a very physically and mentally demanding pharmacy business. I had done it for many years so knew it like the back of my hand but the stress and demands of it were just too much. I now work for this lovely little family run(not my family) training business doing admin. Itās a lot less stressful and Iām not on my feet all day. They are very understanding if I need to swap my work day for hospital appointments or if Iām having a bad mental health day. I do cope a lot better not having too much stress on me.
I donāt know what your boss is like but would it be an idea to have an open and honest conversation with them about how youāre feeling? Maybe they would be able to offer some suggestions that might make it more sustainable. Donāt forget as well that in the eyes of the law once youāve had a cancer diagnosis they have to give you reasonable adjustments the same as those with a disability. I know you donāt feel you can ask for more time off but they do have to do what they can to help you.
I hope you can sort it so that it works better for you and you get the work/life balance you need and deserve.
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Hi, firstly I think you should see this as a positive! I worked at 110 mph before my diagnosis and after two years and lots of reflection and learning to put myself first ( v hard but getting better at it) I can say that I took voluntary redundancy and to this day do not regret it. Financially it was a huge gamble as I was the main earner. Scary- yes- frightening-yes , listening to my gut- yes , so I set up my own business and have 3 0 hour contracts still in my area of work but it allows me to pick and choose where and when I work depending on health and listening to my body. See it as an opportunity for a different but better life balance. Hope this helps!
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Hi
Have you spoken to occupational health as part of your return to work or if you have Private Medical insurance , employee assistane programme through work they should have therapist or counsellors you can talk to?
Macmillan have some free counselling ( check their website)
On here there is the free course moving forward
Employers need to think about mental, emotional pressure as well as making adaptions to your physical work so tell them how you are feeling and ask for support
Unfortunately most companies dont have a cancer policy and have little training for line managers so they do it by trisl and error so you are going to have to advocate for yourself and speak up
Good luck
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I believe MacMillan have stopped their free counselling but now offer the HOPE course aswell as Buddies, phone line and online chat.