back to work
back to work …next week…very mixed feelings…i’ll only be doing one day a week but i’ve been “redeployed” because i went through horrible bullying in my last workplace and had a breakdown, so i don’t know anyone and i don’t know whether people are aware i’ve been off and if so, why. don’t know about other folk but i find having to “tell” people really distressing…i was at a course a few weeks ago where i met a whole load of former colleagues, most people didn’t know i’d been ill, and you could see some people kind of backing away as if it was infectious. i’m torn between wanting people to know so that they’ll be understanding, and not wanting them to know because the information is too personal to share with strangers. i have been getting a bit bored and frustrated being off so sometimes i feel quite enthusiastic about work, then i get overcome with panic because i’ve been off so long and have lost confidence. also because my last experience of having worked was so appalling i lost a great deal of faith in humanity and trust in my employers…however i need to remind myself that it’s my choice to go back, i’m only doing it because i’m on a course that i want to finish and need to be working in order to do it, and if it’s too miserable i can walk away…most of the time i feel OK but i realise i’m still quite fragile emotionally sometimes, so i guess i just need to take it easy…
back to work - telling people Hi Catkin
I have just posted a reply to this and put it in the wrong place: under “Feeling so down again” by LiverBird, Page 1. Do hope you find it.
snowwhite
Back to work Had a gradual return to work in January after Chem and Radio, have had a a continuous cold since February. Went sick agan the week before Easter and have now lost my voice and can’t go to work again. I’m sure they are going to get fed up with me. Has anyone else had these problems? I am wondering whether I should give up work altogether.
so far so…good? have survived first couple of weeks…still being “inducted” so i’m not doing any real work yet…but it feels weird because everyone seems to be behaving as if i were just starting a new job rather than coming off a long period of sick leave. i was also absolutely exhausted last night despite the fact that all i’d done was sit in meetings which i don’t really regard as “work”. i have to say that my occupational health department have been utterly useless and unsupportive…they didn’t even know i was starting back, but certainly haven’t offered any useful advice. the meetings were surreal because they were in an old workplace where i knew a lot of people, they were all exactly the same, and i’ve been off for so long and been through so much that i just don’t feel like the same person any more. i probably looked quite confident but i feel very shaky inside, like i’m having to put on an act all the time. i think it probably is good for me to be back and doing something useful, but the exhaustion i felt last night reminded me that i’m not 100% and do have to take care of myself a bit…