bad dreams

bad dreams

bad dreams Hi,

Ive posted on here a few times before, i lost my mum to bc last aug. I think ive suprised myself at how im coping with losing my mum, i suppose we all just have to get on with it in the end what other choice to we have. The first few months were unbearable, but in the past month or so i seemed to slowly pick up, well untill the past few days, i had nightmares after mum passed away and now they seem to have returned, they are so vivid and i wake up in a panic crying. im just feeling really drained because they knock me out of whack for days and i feel really frustrated and down. I miss her so much and i know she’d say i was wrong, but i feel prangs of guilt that maybe i didnt do enuff to help her.
Anyway thanks for listening. Wishing you all out there my love.

For Tiny Hi Tiny

I am so sorry to hear of your Mum’s death, I understand this must be a very difficult time for you.

Maybe it would help to talk to someone in confidence about how you are feeling. Breast cancer care have a team of people who have experience of dealing with these circumstances. They can talk to you about the emotional issues surrounding bereavement following breast cancer and put you in touch with further sources of help and support.

The number for the helpline is 0808 800 6000 and is open Monday to Friday 9am - 5pm, Saturdays 9am - 2pm.

I hope you find this supportive.

Kind regards.

Forum Host
Breast Cancer Care

so sorry… about your mum. And sorry too that you’re having such a tough time. I think that it’s really important that you get some professional support. Please think about phoning the help line.

And any time you want to write - we’re here for you.


Izzy xx

Hi Tiny, so sorry to hear about your loss and that you are having a difficult time just now. Don’t really know what to say to you although i realise you are still grieving. When I lost a much loved family member for almost 2 years after her death, I regularly dreamt about her, had very vivid dreams and sometimes very disturbing dreams about her also. I would wake up in the morning and could not shake the dreams out of my head all day, even now after 7 years I can remember these dreams. I think now looking back it is obviously part of the grieving process. you have lost a hugely important person in your life, who you will never forget. Please do not feel any guilt ( although I know easier said than done) but I am sure you done everything you could, in the circumstances. Please take care of yourself.
Lorri xx

PS where abouts in scotland are you from, i am from Ayrshire !!!

No need to feel guilty Dear Tiny,

I am so sorry that you are hurting so much. My Mum died when I was a similar age to you (I’ve read through your previous postings) and I can identify with much of what you’ve written. Guilt is part of the process which we go through after someone close has died even though we may have no real reason to reproach ourselves. I wished that I could unsay every unkind word I’d ever spoken to my mother right through childhood and adolescence into adulthood. When I had three children of my own then I understood totally that a mother’s love is unconditional and that you will always love your child whatever they say or do. I also know now how much joy your children give to you. Since I was diagnosed with breast cancer, my grown up children have been wonderfully supportive and have shown me so much love. I’m sure that you were just the same with your Mum. So don’t feel guilty. The only thing that matters is the love that you shared. It has helped me to think that, even though I lost my Mum so long ago, her love for me lived on and has still been with me throughout my life. A mother’s love is for ever. I hope that might give you a little bit of comfort. Also, having read your previous postings, I would encourage you to spend time with people who are loving, caring and sympathetic and want to look after you and help you through this difficult time. Although it will be hard, find things to do that you enjoy and start to plan for the future so you have things to look forward to again. On a practical level, make sure that you are eating properly and leading a healthy lifestyle (try to get out for a walk or get some kind of exercise). These are all things which may help to lift your mood a little if you are feeling down (I know from personal experience). I’m sure there are lots of us on this website who understand how you feel so just come back when you need to and we’ll try to help.

Look after yourself
Francine x

No guilt please. Tiny

I can only imagine how it must feel to lose your mum. I would be the same.

Please don’t ever feel you didn’t do enough to help her. There is NOTHING you could have done to stop the disease taking hold.

I hope your nightmares stop soon and you are able to enjoy all the wonderful memories of your mum.



its been a while Hi,

Ive had internet problems and havent been on for a while, id just like to say thank you all for your kind replys, they are all very much appreciated. Its nice to know that were no all alone in this. ive been feeling much stronger lately, i still have the bad dreams from time to time about mum, but i guess its just part of the process i have to believe it will get better. i will post again soon.

ps. Lorri i come from just outside glasgow!

Wishing all of you the best, take care.