Thanx Trudie…have messaged you…probably same info…chemo brain and all that xxxMel
It is great to hear stories of such positive treatment. I agree that some management training is needed - a friend and I have been talking about doing this for a little time as we are both involved in management development. I don’t think that there should be a one size fits all approach but there are some really good examples of how to get it right in the previous posts.
My situation just continues to become more and more bizarre: one manager has now flatly refused to meet with me (he did this in writing!!) and the other has admitted that he has not thought about my return at all and is too busy to think about it now. So I come to the end of week two having not even seen a manager and have no expectation of meeting with one anytime soon. I have, rather cheekily, asked if I can take paid leave until they do have time to plan for my return and meet with me. Haven’t had a refusal yet … here’s hoping! But truth be told, I want to work, I want to get my old brain cells working and become engaged in something that has nothing to do with cancer, illness, hospitals and all that jazz.
Helen
Helen, that is unbelievable. Where is the compassion in our world? Too many bad experiences out there. I know people struggle with how to deal with this illness but we are just the same underneath, with feelings. A bit of undetstanding would go a long way. Sending positive vibes to all those employers who cant or wont deal with us in an appropriate manner. None of us asked for this illness…like you I need to get a sense of normality in my life. Only when I return will I know if I can carry on as before.
Take care
Mel xx
Now I’m really worried!! I’m a Registrar at an independent school, and have just discovered that I will be entitled to 17 days sick leave on full pay, then I can use up the 12 days annual leave I have left and after that it will be SSP of £87 a week. I also am expected to make up any time I take off for medical reasons in the meantime, or take it from my annual leave. I was in an MRI scanner for over 2 hours this morning having MRI-guided biopsies taken, and was at work before and straight after. I will be having a bilateral mx and SNB in a week or so’s time, followed by rads and chemo. I had some great idea that I could actually go back to work after 3 or 4 weeks; as a single parent with a mortgage and teenage kids we can’t survive on SSP! I think I’ve been utterly deluding myself from what I’ve read! I was mildly annoyed to discover that teaching staff get a far better deal of 3 months on full pay and then 6 months on half pay, while admin staff get 20 days in every rolling 12 months. Ho hum!! That’s my pity party over, thanks for letting me blow off steam here!!
Hi Beeny, I am getting more and more cross everytime I read a new post. I cant believe it really that we are really not supported. I contacted MacMillan about work and time off. They can help you work out the benefits that will help. Ive been off since July and am currently on half pay, I have secondaries in my bones too which complicates it a bit. For some reason i took out critical health insurance when i took out the mortgage…they have paid up…did you…i didnt actually realise this at the time.
The othet thing I am getting cross with is the governments rhetoric about benefits…totally clueless. I want to work…didnt ask for this, there is little support from employers (with a few exceptions) and this part is as hard as dealing with the illness itself.
Take care,
Mel xx
Anyone out there from HR? I need some advice.
Back for my third week and still no sign of a manager. One is now on annual leave and the other refuses to see me as he is too busy. I requested a return to work interview, by email at the beginning of March and received no reply to my requests. When I went back to work on the 04/04 no one made any contact with me at all. I have in essence been attending work as I have no work to do and don’t yet know what training/retraining I need. I have spoken to my HR Manager and she says she has spoken to both on several occasions but to no effect. I have no faith at all that when I do eventually see a manager that they will have planned for my return or have considered what I need after a 12 month absence. My only option now seems to escalate this and talk to my manager’s manager who joined whilst I was away and I don’t really want a complaint to be the reason we meet.
Any thoughts on what I can do next?
I am finding myself feeling very upset and tearful about work which is very unlike me.
Helen
Have just sent a reply but seems to have gone AWOL!
Basically all I wanted to say was afriend who is a HR director advised me that the Occupation Health Department of any large organisation should be closely involved and advise the employer re phased return, special requirements etc etc. She advised me, as I had received no support from my Local Authority employer to self refer to the OH. Maybe worth you contacting them ASAP and requesting urgent meeting.
Good luck
Hi Helen, I cant believe what you are being put through by your managers. I am no expert but I think you may need to speak to their manager. They clearly do not know what they are doing. Have you spoken with MacMillan about this? They may be able to support you. Are you in a union? I am using them in order to make sure everything is done legally. It is so wrong that they are being so unprofessional about your return/job. You are protected by disability act…I know you know this…there is a downloadable version on their website.
As I said I dont know very much but just sending you a big virtual hug. I know how it feels. Your hr should be doing more.
Take care,
Mel xx
I am posting in case any of those having problems live near London as there is a workshop being run there by an employment solictor. It is 11-1 on 19th April and if you are interested I can give details. I was going to go but cant’t as I have a pre-op assessment.
I had to beg my employers to pay me sick leave (it hurt my pride!) for my next op. To be fair, Ive had 2 cancer diagnoses in 4 years but I worked through my first treatment (had a great manager). Then they adopted a rolling year approach to my sickness which meant that I ended up being on half pay sooner than I expected. My new manager is supportive to be honest the system is rubbish, OH were rubbish (the OH woman cried when I told her about my situation), they failed to keep appointments or develop any plan. As a result, I have just self-managed. Its fine but hard, very hard.
If you google ‘The Haven’ and look at the calender it should be listed. And anyone from BCC, there is a real need for a service to help people to negotiate a return to work- there is welfare rights advice and support but not employment law. I ended up reading on law myself and while there is legilsation it seems a bit hit-and-miss.
Good luck and don’t give up! Rattles x
Just lost two posts! SSP for me, and it is about to run out. Basically, I can return full-time or not at all. I am an agency worker and need a phased return. I have no union. ACAS say my problem is down to disability rights, and the disability people say it’s necessary to go to ACAS. The general opinion seems to be I have rights under both lots of legislation, but that they would be difficult to enforce. I presume my agency and “temporary” employer know this.
Well, third week back now completed and still no sign of a manager! They have started to close ranks and treat me as a “naughty child” all because I have asked for a return to work interview. On the one hand I am really appalled by the way I have been teated but on the other I just dont think I have the energy to fight for appropriate treatment. It’s really stressing me out.
Helen
Hi Helen, I still cant believe all this. Have you got work to do yet? I have now got a meeting arranged with the head and hr. I am taking my union with me which will wind up my head. This worries me a bit as I have to work with her after this meeting. In my case the hr woman was giving incorrect advice at a previous meeting I had in October. If my return to work meeting had just been with my head teacher I wouldnt need to take the union with me. I did visit last week…it was really lovely to see the children. I work in a school…one of the chlldren asked me if Id had my haircut. Its growing back quite a bit since chemo…they were used to seeing me with long blond hair.
Good luck everyone with returning to work
Mel xx
Dear all, I hope your work woes have been sorted out. I have now been called for a formal meeting at work…been sent the policy…and a letter saying I can take a union rep. Oh have suggested I have a return to work phased back in. I dont understand why this process is made so stressful. I know my old boss would have gone out of his way go support a return to work without all these formal meetings. I am aware this will eventually take me down the capability route. Ironically I did this training last year 
I have heard of some great stories about heads supporting their staff back to work. Maybe I will get amazing support, but have that strange feeling its going to be made difficult. I am meeting my union next week before my meeting so we can discuss the way forward. I know its hard for a school to function without a deputy head but its much harder to be dealing with bc + sx to bone + chemo etc. I just hope I will cope ok. Am aiming to go back part time initially phased return and then by Sept my oncs think Ill be fine for returning to my usual job. Well lets hope so.
Good luck all
Mel xxx
Hi Mel, so sorry to read that you feel you will not receive support when you go back. Why do you think this will inevitably take you down the capability route?
Surely a school could cope with a PT deputy head - may even be an opportunity for a job share or development for another member of staff.
Still no sight of a manager (4 weeks in). I am now at the stage that to get any satisfaction (for me this would mean that someone in management agrees that the lack of support was not acceptable) I will need to involve my union. I am reticent to do this as to me it seems extreme and is likely to become more antagonistic than I like. On reflection I wonder if this is why all the poor managers/unsipportive organisations can get away with the lack of support - we, the recently treated, have to make a decision about how we use our limited energy and in the main have to give up the fight for appropriate treatment in the workplace. Very sad.
Mel, I hope the meeting goes better than you currently expect. Let us know how you get on,
Helen
I won’t go into long details here but I symapthise strongly with what you ladies are going thru right now - been there and have T shirt etc. All I’d say is definitely get your union involved - without them I’d have given up and resigned. I had no support whatsoever from my managers, indeed the opposite in that I needed to work from home as I had pre bc, and they decided there was no work available for me - I had to go into the office which for reasons of severe depression I couldn’t do - people phase me basically. I was signed back in Aug 10, and 2 weeks after signing back they deigned to tell me this - as others say you are so weak physically and mentally you may be able to cope with ‘normal’ life but things like this just tip you over the edge. After so much hassle and politics and lies (“we’ve offered her work and she’s refused it” - they didn’t even contact me to say how are you let alone have something to do!!) I was finally made redundant end May 11. I took my pensions and was going to look for other work requiring no skills such as retail but then got back pains and have gone down the sec bone dx route.
Now, nearly 2 years later,. I’m fairly content with being retired and glad I’m not working - but I still wish it hadn’t taken so much out of me at a time I didn’t need it - if I saw my ex manager on a pavement my steering in the car would ‘fail’ and I’d mount it to kill him, I feel that badly!
Helen, there have been some other situations in my school where people have been off long term sick. They were treated quite poorly by the head…it was her who was stressing them out by all accounts. I heard some of the converstations about these colleagues. I am well aware that they were nit treatd very well. They now have a new hr team…no longer the local authority…she has already flexed her muscles…wrongly may I had at an informal meeting. Also I am aware that they have asked certain questions of OH about early retirement…I am 42…not ready.
Brromstick lady (love your name) I can appreciate where you are coming from totally. It really is stress we could all do without. I am good at my job, worked for 20 years for this authority. What do get back? £71 from NI contributions…grrrrrrrrr.
I will report back on outcomes. It actually makes me cross enough to want to bribg this out in the open…bye bye job then though 
Take care
Mel xxx
Hi Ladies,
I am on my 3rd week back at work after being off since secondary dx last Oct. I have been very well supported - they really couldn’t have done more for me. I am on a phased return over 4 weeks when I will hopefully return to full time hours. The only thing I can say is nothing prepared me for how tired I would be, the lack of concentration and feeling of being so disorganised. I also feel very lazy as I can’t be bothered to do much when I get home - luckily my family are great.
I teach in a primary school and although everyone one jokes about a 9-3 day and long holidays this is so not true - the amount of work that I should be doing at home or after school is just not getting done. I do love my job and only qualified during my primary diagnosis and treatment when I continued to study and work through chemo etc. Now 5 years down the line I don’t have the same energy levels and look at life differently with my secondary dx.
Mel I hope your school would be as supportive as mine - I haven’t even seen hr and have sorted everything with the head who is great. Good luck at your meeting.
Sorry if this is a bit long winded. I hope it posts as mine keep disappearing recently.
Take care everyone
Karen x
Hi Karen, I am not sure why hr are involved to be honest. Its fairly straight forward really as OH have laid down the phased return. Week 1-2 days, wk 2 -4, 3 days and building up when ready. Not really rocket science. I am concerned about my lack of energy some days. This is improving though. Are your sx bone mets? What treatment are you on? Ive just start letrozole…hot sweats at night…grrr. Am glad you have have had support. My school do everything by the book
Mel xxx
Hi Mel
Yes I’m secondary bone mets. Have just finished 6 treatments of zometa. Started the everolimus and exemestane combo in December and everything seems to be going ok. A mixture of side effects each month but they don’t all come together (thankfully). Tirednes and aching and clicking joints are the main concerns as they are there all the time. Shouldn’t complain but sometimes it helps to have a bit of a moan.
Mt phased return is 4 mornings wk1. 4 mornings and 1 pm wk2. 5 mornings and 2pm wk3. 5 mornings and 3 afternoons wk 4 (one afternoon off is ppa). Wk 5 onwards just a normal week!! and normality returns… really not sure about managing the full time bit but will try it and see what happens. How long have you been off Mel?
Karen x
Hi Karen, Ive been off since July last year. I had a really bad hip pain which caused me issues with walking. Had rads for that which is now sorted. Was put on tomoxifen + zoladex + zometa…the tomoxifen didnt work and mets spread so was put on ec chemo which I have responded well to. Just started with letrazole and continuing with zometa + zoladex. I need to work out how my phased return will look. Mornings may work well and build up my hours. Its so hard to know what to do. Are you in class still?
I am hoping to do management stuff…talk of groups next year! Who knows my head changes her mind every fee minutes!!
Take care
Mel xx