Been a wreck and home life has been hard

Hi my name is Nicole and I was diagnosed in June with Stage II Invasive Ductal Breast Cancer with spreading to lymph nodes. I’m about to finish my radiation treatment. Two days left. But I’m suffering from major depression and anxiety. I have had it all my life but it has been exasperated lately. I lost my Mom Mom almost two weeks ago. I couldn’t make it to her service because my body was in so much pain and weak. I have been crying at the drop of a hat. I’m so overwhelmed by my physical and mental state. Plus my boyfriend, who I live with has been really hard on me lately. I know it’s stressful and we are financially devastated but I’m constantly being put down, called lazy when I’m absolutely exhausted, yelled at for everything and told to just get over it and push myself. I’m getting to the point where I’m not even able to turn myself around positively. If I do something happens to him and I’m blamed. Even my dog is scared. I bought his kids the press ss for Christmas from the last of my money. The grief of losing my grandma, my family being distant, my overwhelming stress/thoughts with just dealing with my cancer and the fact I can’t get through to my boyfriend is breaking me. Any advice? Anyone else going through this? Thank you. My Christmas was sad and I need to keep my strength up to beat this. However, it’s like no one understands. Help me get my smile back.


Hi! I’m Emma and I start first radiotherapy treatment on 8th January I’m hoping I’ll only need 5 sessions but I’ll have to wait and see. Since being diagnosed in September it’s been a rollercoaster and my 23 year old son has been there for me bless him. I’m on my own and I’m so glad he’s got his girlfriend to go to. I visited my mum last week as she lives miles from me and is in a care home and I hope she doesn’t die soon. I just want to get well again and I’m hoping to be out of the worrying time by the springtime 2024! Try and be strong at this difficult time! Merry Christmas!


Hi @nmarch78

So sorry that things are so difficult for you right now . Firstly you aren’t being lazy - radiotherapy can cause fatigue and you need time for your mind and body to process what had happened to you . Many of us have gone through the emotionally volatile / crying phase you mention . If you are on any endocrine therapy that may also be causing you side effects.

It sounds as though you’re in the US ? I don’t know how things work over there to tell you where to get help - firstly to be able to understand and deal with what you’re going through with your cancer secondly with financial advice and lastly with your relationship. Perhaps if you post in the Ask the Nurses Section they may have some info for you.

Even when you are surrounded by helpful understanding people cancer can feel like a lonely place but when you’re with someone who doesn’t understand and constantly puts you down ( I’ve been there but not while I had BC thank heavens )
it must be so much worse . I don’t know either of you but maybe you should ask yourself honestly if you think he is ever going to get it / why he isn’t getting it / is he ever going to be supportive of you. I have a friend who was diagnosed with BC about 9 years ago - her husband decided partway through her radiotherapy treatments 5 minutes before they were due to set off in fact that he wasn’t going to drive her there and back anymore . He actually said " you need to think about how your cancer affects me " - they are no longer together.

I’m very sorry to hear about your Grandma - we always feel the loss more at Christmas but you will be able to remember the good times in time . I lost my Mum 6 months before I was was diagnosed with BC in November 21 and it intensified my grief . My Dad passed away in April this year - I’m lucky to have spent a joyful day with my partner and other family yesterday but I was definitely struggling a week ago.

Thinking of you wishing you happier times and hope that things get better for you.

With love
Joanne. X


So sorry you’re having such a hard time Nicole.
Have you any friends nearby you can rely on? Your boyfriend should be supporting you not criticising or running you down! It is a hard time for partners too,
All the best to you.

1 Like