A lady I have met on another forum is feeling dejected and rejected by her Health Authority. To put the situation concisely - this lady, soon to start on Taxotere, has a ninety three year old parent for whom she has been the sole carer. The elderly parent was admitted to Hospital but a decision has been made to send her back home for her daughter to look after! At the moment the dau is having FEC and finding it hard to be the only carer of her elderly parent, but she’s worried that once her prescription is changed to Tax her energy levels and pain will mean she’s just not able to give the necessary care her Mother requires.
Has anyone else here been in this situation, or can anyone advise on who the lady should speak to to get a solution, surely it cannot be the case that a chemo patient, not that young herself, is considered fit enough to care for a 93 year old?
I know how fatigued and ill Tax has made me feel, and for most of my cycle I’m unable to totally look after myself let alone be expected to care for a 93 year old.
If anyone is able to offer to advise I can pass on, both the lady and I will be grateful.
I think if she contacts social services she may bvable o getvsome help… Also she needs to speak to her mums team at the hosp and just say that she canno look after her mum for the next few months… They may be able to get some respite care in a elderly long stay unit or a nursing home… Is mum ab to do anything or herself? As maybe sheltered accommodation would suit her if she has a bit of independence… Social work can organise carers and other services.
I was in this situation, contact social services and they should be able to put a care package in place. Also the district nurse should be able to come in if she needs bloods etc taking. Im afraid you have to keep shouting that you have cancer and need help as the authorities listen but dont HEAR. If i can be of any help drop me a pm.
Its vital when dealing with the authorities re care that you mention “at risk” and “vulnerable” Its also good to put it in writing so they cannot ignore that fact you have said she is at risk. She will certainly be at risk if her daughter is too poorly to care for her.
Also the carer is entitled to a carers assesment so she should request one ASAP under the circumstances.She will not get the rest she requires during chemo with an elderly relative needing care.
They should at the very least provide respite care.
Good luck
Dot
x
Thank you all so much for your responses which I shall pass on to the lady concerned. Your comments are all very helpful and appreciated. This lady, I know will be grateful to you all. Thanks again.
I received a message from the lady tonight. She wishes to thank you all for your helpfulness. She followed your advice and Social Services have agreed to place her mum in a home.
I can’t tell you how much happier the lady sounded.
Are you suffering from St Eroid’s sleeplessness? Was it today you had your chemo? Had mine on 22nd so just coming out of feeling wide awake all night. The reason I’m still here is I’ve slept for most of the day, but off to get some kip now - I hope!