I had a bilateral mastectomy 8 years ago, with immediate recon using tissue expander and then got replacement to implants 2 years later, however, I got a severe infection on the implants 2 years after that (4 years ago now) and had to get them urgently removed, and I didnt get the implants replaced at the time,and didnt get told this, so when I woke up from the operation, I had nothing there, just skin where they had stretched with the tissue expander, and my nipples hanging below, I was in total shock, as I thought they would have replaced the implants or just flushed them out and replaced them, but they didnt and when I asked the consultant about this, he said they needed to get the infection cleared up first and possibly 6 months before we discuss the reconstruction, however, 2 months later I got my nipples removed as there was still some infection in them, and they had a discharge. and they removed the excess skin that was there along with scar tissue and damaged nerves.
All so emotional upheaval, but I got fitted for prosthesis, the softie ones to start with, and then 6 weeks later got my silicone stick on prosthesis, and well my world changed for the better. I love my stick on boobs now, and when I put them on and wear what I want it is great, you cannot tell the difference.
But I must be honest, it was strange at first when I looked in the mirror to see myself. And I am slim, so at the moment you just see my outline of the ribs, (this isnt the size zero ribs, ) but no fat, I am naturally slim, and at 42, I didnt want further surgery, as I had been offerered reconstruction, using abdominal muscles, muscles from the back, and even my bum and thigh, but it would mean more surgery, and possibly more painful healing and risks of problems long term. So I decided that I wouldnt have any more surgery.
I then learned to love my body again, and looked at myself in the mirror to see how anyone looking back would see me, and it wasnt half bad. I got my partner to look at me and start to say how he really felt, and he said that he couldnt touch my boobs before my mastectomy as they were really painful, and he said I look just as lovely naked. I still ask for reassurance when he sees me in the shower etc, and it makes me feel good.
I do feel whole when I put my ‘boobs’ on, just like you do when putting lipstick or shoes on. They have become part of my life now, and I have now done loads of media with me wearing lingerie, or naked over the past 4 years. I was even on Trinny and Susanah Great British Body tv show this year as a feature, loving my body, and I have just done a photoshoot for a national newspaper for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I did this with 2 other lovely ladies, one of whom had reconstruction on both breasts, and the other had one breast removed, we were all naked from the waist up. I think it will be in the papers The Mirror this week, look out for us.
I hope this helps, as being without my breasts has had its ups and downs emotionally over the years, but it does get stronger, and I have other things that bother me more, like cellulite, and wrinkles !! I have also got severe nerve damage around the chest area, and now diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, (painful muscles throughout the body, like having constant toothache but from head to foot), and they think this has came from a factor of my infection in the implants, as it is normally this that can trigger it off, with this also I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome/ ME, so each day is like snakes and ladders, up and down…but I still have a pulse and that is what I love…
The only hardest part I have to deal with having no boobs, is getting lingerie that is feminine and sexy and colourful, but as you all know this is a strong subject, and dont get me started on it…!!!
take care and hope your operation goes well on Thursday… big hugs but gentle ones.
xxx