Hi All, I am 33 years old and am completely petrified that I’m about to be diagnosed with cancer. It all started two weeks ago when I was playing with my nine year old daughter on her bed. She rolled over and squished my boob and an amount of brown discharge came out. Over the next few days it continued, but only when I squeezed the breast. I forced myself to go to the doctors, he examined me, took a swab of the discharge and said I should go and have a mammogram. I also asked for an ultra sound as I knew the two together were more accurate. Went along for the mammo and u/s and they said they can see what they think is a cyst, but also another “area” about 1cm deeper in the breast. Said it could be a “node” or just part of my breast, but because they have no previous mammos to go on can not be sure. I asked the radiologist who spoke to me, and the sonographer if they thought it was something sinister and they both said no. However, I have family history of bc - my mum had it first when she was 50 and died of secondary at 60. So she said she would recommend further investigation. Said if there was no family history she would be telling me to come back in 6 months to see if there’d been any changes. So, I waited for the report to get to my doctor and he called me yesterday, saying that he thinks and MRI should be the next step due to; nipple discharge, family history and the 2 “lesions” on the breast. I said I would rather go straight for biopsy so that is what he is now arranging. I asked how worried I should be and he said there is a “remote chance” (15/20%) that it could be cancer.
When typing that, it sounds like good odds right? But I am so very very scared. I have never felt anything like this in my life. I have always thought there’s a somewhat enevitable path for me that I will get bc because of my mum, but I didn’t think it would get me at the age of 33. I feel like I’m on a rollercoaster with part of me looking at those odds and looking at lots of other biopsiy stories that are benign and taking comfort from those. Then the other part of me is already planning how I’m going to tell the kids (9 and 12) that I won’t be around any more. I’m desparate for some kind of comfort and know that ultimately I need to face this on my own. I am sorry for the long post ladies but please if anyone is out there that can help me calm down, I’d appreciate it.
You poor thing. Sorry I’ve only just found your post - it may be that others haven’t seen it either - everyone’s usually really good at rallying to the worried posts. Am very sad to hear how anxious you are right now - and it’s not surprising. Everyone one of us who’s had a scare identifies with how you feel. Hopefully it will turn out that you have nothing to worry about, but any waiting is hell. The most important thing is that you have gone straight to your doctor about it and you are pushing for action. I don’t know where you are, but it surprises me that you’re apparently being treated only by GPs - here they refer you to a breast screening unit rather than interpreting results themselves. If you have such a unit, I’d ask for a referral. They’re specialised and will be able to answer all your questions.
I’m also sorry about your mum - that must have been in the back of your mind all along and it’s come to the fore with this scare. I’m the first person ever in my family to have cancer (we have a long tradition of heart disease instead!) and my diagnosis has put the fear in all my close relatives. There is a great leaflet on hereditary breast cancer on this website - if you have only once close relative who has had it, it’s unlikely. Have a look when you feel a bit stronger.
I really do hope all works out well for you
Sarah
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Hi
Sorry you have come on here, but you will find heaps of support I promise. The waiting game is always the worst though and I think that that is the time when everything seems so bleak and worrying. Hopefully you will get your biopsy and maybe MRI and everything, fingers crossed, will be good. But whatever your outcome, we will be here to help you whether good or bad. Lets hope its good. I cannot really help with the discharge and stuff, I found a lump in my right, and unfortunately was bc. I am 39, with two children, one is 4 in December and the other is 10 months. It is hard, but the children will help you get through this I promise. Mine do, as I have no time really to sit and dwell on things, life carries on as normal, as it has to for them really. And best of all they make me smile and laugh no matter how sad, down, worried I am feeling and I know, that for there sake, I have to be strong and I have to fight this as much as I can.
I have just had my 3rd chemo session today (3 x FEC and 3 x taxotere - probably mean nothing to you, sorry), so am now half way through, and once I started treatment it did help me, as I knew then that we were fighting back.
Hopefully you will not have to have ops or chemo, and your dx will be clear. But just let us know how you get on and how you are too. This forum is a lifeline, has helped me out so much, when I am down and feeling pretty S**t about things, but also good when feeling happy too, and we have quite a few funny threads going believe me.
If you need any advice just shout.
Take care and sending lots of love
Dawn
xxx
Thank you so much for your comments. I can’t believe how scared and tearful I am and I haven’t been told anything bad yet! I have always had a tendency to be pessimistic about things to do with health, but I’ve never felt like this before. One minute, I look at the 80/85% benign rating in these circumstances, and feel fine and then suddenly a wave crashes over me. I feel fraudulent that I’m not even diagnosed with anything yet am fearful of the worst. Reading the posts on this site over the last few days has been a complete Godsend.
I am in the US at the moment, although an a UK citizen and if there’s anywhere to get sick, this is probably it as people travel here (Houston, Texas) for treatment from around the World. I hope I never have to experience that!
Am trying to get my biopsy booke in - they say I need two - ultrasound guided and the stereotypic (sp?) one as the “areas/lesions” are both in different places.
Thank you again - it really is a true comfort to be able to talk to you all about this. Kerrie
Dawn, I couldn’t agree with you more - just talking about it all with eachother is so important. And we do have a laugh too!
Sarah
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Hi Kerrie
Think tears are good and are very normal right now. I was in pieces when told my dx and couldn’t stop crying for days. Actually became a little bit of a hermit for 3 weeks, until my treatment started and only saw a few of my friends. But life is back to normal (well as normal as it can be nowadays). You will get through this though, believe me, and it will get easier. I think once you know it will help you, as you will know where you stand and what, if any, treatment you need.
Please come on here as much as you like and moan, cry, rant, scream whatever, we all do it, and we all help each other.
Love
Dawn
xx
Hi Kerrie
sorry to hear what you are going through right now. it’s totally understandable that you are worried and I am glad that the docs are taking things seriously and you are getting good care. I just had a core biopsy last week (seems like forever ago now!) which was guided by an ultrasound and with local anaesthetic. I got the results two days later and was glad to hear it was just a fiboradenoma (benign). I had two lumps removed years ago and have had various other cysts and needle biopsies.
It just seems that this is the way I am… every few years I get a new lump. However each time i take it seriously & do get it checked out. And I do worry!
The ladies on here were a tremendous support to me and I know they will be for you too. Hang in there and keep us updated on how things go for you. Try to think positively if you can.
Take care,
Nanny
Hi Kerrie,
There is no history of BC in my family. However a couple of weeks ago I found a lump and was urgently referred. During that time I went to hell and back, imagining what my life would be one way or the other, I was so worried and frightened I brought on my period early. Whenever I had to tell somebody about it, I had uncontrollable shakes. My husband and I spent most of the time either drinking or in tears. We kept it from the kids (son 10, daughter 15) because we did not want to worry them needlessly, but even this was a strain, because our feelings had to be bottled up until the kids were in bed or out of the house. From finding the lump to being seen at the breast clinic took only 12 days but it felt like a lifetime. The lump was a cyst and removed straight away guided by ultrasound. I know that it is almost impossible not to worry, but you cannot change what is there by worrying. I now feel a complete fraud having come onto this site with my worries, but they were very real at the time. I felt very humbled by the very brave people telling their stories here. You are allowed to feel frightened and worried but most stories have happy endings, its just that you do do not always hear about them.
Good Luck and I hope you do not have to wait and worry for too long.
Sue
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I know just how you are feeling. I have had two lumps removed (as it happens benign) also a ruptured cyst and each time I have been utterly frantic. As I am doing the IBIS II trial I get mammograms every 18 months and my next one is in 18 months. I am getting frantic with worry even now and I haven’t even been for the mammogram yet. Remember 9 out of 10 lumps are nothing to worry about - they kept telling me that but it didn’t really help, but I do know just how you feel. I’m sure you will be OK.