Bone mets - please join in (Part 1)

Living with secondary breast cancer Supporting each other and sharing experiences
10241

Hi Ladies,

I’m feeling low today, in 2 days time it would have been my 5 year anniversary of my primary diagnosis, I called it my cancerversary. I used to celebrate this day by doing something nice, this year I had planned a ten day holiday to Madeira with my best friend and our husbands and that has been cancelled because of treatment… I’ve made friends on Facebook through my young women support group and they are all posting at the moment about being discharged from oncology and celebrating their five year cancer free milestones. Although I would never ever begrudge them this, it’s just hard to read as I wish beyond wish that it was me too. I think the heat and non-stop radiotherapy and hospital visits aren’t helping but I just wish I wasn’t in this pit of sadness. Once the hospital appointments slow to monthly, I think I’ll gain new normal, it’s just at the moment, all I think of every day is cancer :frowning: xx

10242

Hello maria
Hello …nice for you to join us and post and not read and run !!
I think on this thread we try to discuss sensible things sometimes but also show a bit of daily banter which to newbies joining us will show that we are living with cancer.
Hugs hope u stay cool …xx

10243

Hiya jellytot
Come on snap out of the depression and SMILE :relaxed::relaxed:…you will still be in delayed shock from the dx and it does take time to accept the new life.
A lot of hospital visits means your life is centred around appointments but it slows down and gets easier.
I celebrated every year as my cancer anniversary …got to ten …retired and prepared to grow old disgracefully and spend the kids inheritance …but on the eleventh …got the secondary dx …but hey hoo …still here to annoy everyone with my daily banter !!
:relaxed::relaxed::relaxed::relaxed:

10244

Hello Renee
Phew its hotter than ever here today …I’m in Devon so it’s the Riviera of the UK !!!
Your poor friend …what a lot to deal with but like everyone …we rise above it and cope.
Poor Mia. …she is really feeling heat trauma …sure she will be fine if she can find a cool spot …
Hugs xxx

10245

Hi all

Very hot here in London but at least work has air con(not too great but better than nothing). It is the train journey home that is really uncomfortable.

Jellytot please don’t despair I know exactly how you feel as I still have a little sob every day and feel like I am currently at one doctors appt or another but having just had a clear result from bone scan and CT I am starting to come to terms with it a bit more and be a normal as can be and good to know there is this formum as it gives me hope for being normal for a long time

Wendy x

10246

 

 

10247

Hi there Jellytot.

 

am so sorry you are feeling low and quite understand why. You had a peer group to share stuff with and now they all seem ok, so you feel you havent a lot in common. Xx

 

this weather IS too much for us and hospital visits are an intrusion…sorry you had to cancel your holiday. i nderstand that too… have to attend two weeks out of every three for my Eribulin and have a oh who isnt really holiday orientated.xx have managed to snatch three nights away with him on Sunday, just for a change of scenery…have not had a holiday since three days in October! So I do understand.

 

we never know what lies ahead, do we? Your friends all seem to be hunky dory, hopefully that will continue, but most of us here are all adjusting to changes every now and then…so even if we seem very ok with it, we arent always and you cam share with us…we do understand xxx

Moijanxx ???

i 

10248

Hello Renee
Living here sometimes don’t appreciate how lucky we are … hope u get to Lee bay soon whilst the weather is so nice.
Forecast is hotter tomorrow and I have a funeral to go to but dress code is bright and colourful so I have a nice cool dress to wear.
Temperature here : 75f but think that is modest …it seems hotter .
Sweaty betty signing off xxxx

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Hiya Renee
I understand the wheelchair as when I had my hip op …went out …twice in it …hated the way people leaned over and shouted and talked slowly … assumed as I was in a chair …was deaf and stupid as well !! People also talk to the pusher and ignore the one in the chair too …
It seems a bit cooler tonight …hope we all sleep better so we are not a load of twitchy snappy ladies tomorrow …leave the grumpy bit to the men !!
Hugs xxc

10250

I have one thing to share. Reports finally finished!!

Jellytot, I had big plans to celebrate ten years cancer free on my 69th birthday. Now I’ve decided to celebrate just being here. Take care. X

10251

Morning Renee
Phew …a scorcher again but I’m going to show off now …went to bed at ten last night …fan on and a glass of tonic water …slept to 7.30pm this morning ! Very very unusual but feel better. No wee trips, buzzing flies !!
Just a warning to dog owners …vets inundated with burnt paws after being walked on hot pavements …went to sons last night …their dog had his head in the freezer and was keeping cool …he’s also taken over ownership of the fan too !!
Hugs from sweaty betty xxx​:relaxed::relaxed:

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Afternoon ladies, sorry for the absence (I’m sure I’ll get detention from Carolyn!) Had family stuff going on plus it’s been sooooo hot it leaves you feeling so tired…er not that I’m complaining though, we have to appreciate the sunshine while it’s here!
Jellytot, I’m really sorry to hear that you are feeling down at the moment, it’s totally understandable though, don’t beat yourself up over, it’s ok to feel down and angry with this disease, but you will feel stronger and more positive again soon.
Well we have a new addition to the family, Heidi our beautiful cavachon, so we are learning to adapt to having a dog around, finding it both scarey and exciting all at the same time (certainly taking my mind off the big C)
Stay cool ladies. Hugs Janette xxxxx

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Hello Nicky and Jeanette
Glad u popped in as everyone is fed up with me …
Jeanette …you will find having a doggy about a joy as you just have to walk them and get up at silly o clock but somehow you get so much back in love from them.
Nicky
Glad u are coping well with the new chemo …and enjoying the heat …it’s supposed to be changing by tomorrow.
Phew missed my afternoon nap as I’ve just got in from the funeral …very short and sweet though …bless at 94 …not many still living to attend !
Sweaty betty xxx☺

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Hi there Nicky…

yes my hands were burning touching the car insde after 

my blood test today. i am due chemo…tomorrow. Glad yours went well.

xx

Moijan???

10255

Hello girls, thank you for your lovely hugs and advice. I just wrote this poem:

 

No More Cake

5 years ago, it’s oh so clear,
In the waiting room, the rising fear.
Walking into that stuffy room,
Increasing dread, impending doom.
I’m so sorry, the surgeon mumbled,
And my whole life began to crumble.

 

I made it though the treatment plan,
Got married to a wonderful man.
I’d been given a reprieve,
We’d picked our kids’ names; Alfie, Niamh.

 

Every year upon this date,
I’d put a cake upon a plate,
Adding candles one by one,
Blowing them out, reflecting, another year done.
Another year of being me,
Another year of cancer-free.

 

In the blink of an eye, that all has changed,
My whole future rearranged.
Today there’s no cake upon a plate,
There’s no 5 years to celebrate.

 

My cancer is back, this time it’s worse,
It’s like I have some kind of curse.
Stage 4 (or mets) means there’s no cure,
So a new plan I must endure.
Treat it for as long as they are able,
Keep it at bay, keep me stable.

 

The darkest thoughts inside my head,
I’d written myself off, I was already dead.
The oncologist dilutes my fears,
He says “you could have years and years”.

There it is, the bubble of hope,
Something to cling on to, to help me cope.

So currently I’m being fried,
With radiotherapy to keep me alive.
They’ll take my ovaries, an oophorectomy.
Will I feel less womanly, will I still be me?

 

Then move on to new hormone pills,
I’m hoping the side effects won’t make me ill.
Constant monitoring, blood checking, scans,
Are all a part of my new plan.

 

As I find my new normal and readjust,
Forgive me, it’ll take time to get it sussed.
“Eat Life” a wise friend once said,
I’ll seize the now, for no-one knows what lies ahead.
I may have not made the magic five,
But I’m bloody thankful I’m alive.

10256

Jellytot …what a lovely poem …and very thoughtfully written …I think you should get it printed in a scroll type picture and frame it …read it daily to give your self a motto everyday when you feel that the world is against you!! Xxx

10257

Hello ramade
Welcome back …I know exactly what you are feeling as I have pain in the same spots …some days better some worst and I never know either whether its progress, letrozole or denosumab either !!
I try to avoid painkillers and rub in deep heat type stuff as much as possible and use a plug in electric massager or hot water bottle at night when I’m achy .
I think denosumab features in achy pain …I get more pain a few days after and for some reason a few days before its due …but that’s just me …everyone is different .
Hope you are comfy today …it’s cooler here in Devon and sooo nice …so I’m not a sweaty betty today ladies …in fact forehead is bone dry and I have cold feet in the flip flops !!
Xxx

10258

Hi Jellytot,
What a beautiful poem. Thanks it helped a lot to revive my spirit. It is not for us to worry how long we live. We are alive today and shall be in the years to come. I enjoy each day and know there will many more such days. Love and hugs
Srilata

10259

Hello Renee
Just popping in to wish you all the best hugs from your cyber friends here for good results tomorrow …it’s always an anxious time but we all do the scan anxiety diet which is lots of visits to the loo !! xxx

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Thank you for the lovely comments on my poem, it felt very cathartic to get it all out. Lots of love xx