How are we meant to deal with this? I got diagnosed just after my 40th birthday and am not coping.
Hi sbee I totally understand how youâre feeling right now & itâs the most natural thing to be scared & certain of nothing right now to be frank but you know whatâŚ. you are coping already!! Youâre reaching out to ladies on this forum who are all amazing & genuinely want to help where they can.
When you have all your results back (which by the way can be the hardest time) & your Oncologist starts you on your meds, I really think youâll begin the journey of getting your head around what is happening. For myself, I have to say, it took me about 18 months to âacceptâ my diagnosis. I can speak about it now without getting upset every time. Thankfully now, I no longer wake up each morning & have my cancer diagnosis the first thing I think about but it has taken time & thatâs okay.
Weâre all different & deal with things in our own time & in our own way. There are no right or wrong ways, just do what feels right for you. If you feel speaking with a Cancer Psychologist would help, ask your Breast Nurse to refer you. For me, Iâm so grateful to speak to mine every Monday morning. I honestly donât think I realised how much I needed her.
Keep us posted please sbee & keep talking to family, friends, nurses about anything you feel would best help support you 
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Thank you , I really get a lot back from forums like this . Itâs a really isolating disease . My approach is going to be different this time , I think I was so passive when I was going through the initial diagnosis . Iâm
Not going to just take the first option Iâm going to make sure I hear all the options then decide this time .
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I am just so exhausted & fed up - i am only 6 months out of active treatment when the last scan had the all clear. Have been told i have about 3 years. Have never connected with my team & have lacked consistency which i so needed. I am in so much pain & do not want to live like this.
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Hi loki
Im doing ok thank u. Just a bit tired. Im not in any pain. Bone pain that I had 2 years ago is gone now. My oncologists arent sure if the sclerosis they see on the scans is healing or progression so thats confusing. I do have a tumor at the bottom of my spine that has caused significant nerve damage to my femoral nerve. My right leg is 3/4 numb and now very weak so im now walking with a stick and having occasional falls and lots of nearly falls because my balance is affected. I have had no input from my oncology team as to things I can do to help my situation. Ive read some posts that have suggested exercises are very important so I will need to start doing more. I do worry how much worse this will get. It is already impacting my quality of life. At 63 I had big plans to travel more and now thats become less likely as my mobility worsens. It is harder to enjoy life but just got to look for things that give you a bit of pleasure. Anyone have anything similar going on? Big hugs. Xx
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My goodness Essegee it sounds like youâre going through it. I hope things improve for you, always have hope.
You say your Oncology team havenât offered help with managing day to day but I wonder, if you were to ask them for a referral to some Physiotherapy maybe once a week. Maybe try calling your Specialist Nurse tomorrow to discuss ways in which they could help you.
Maybe & hopefully youâd find this helps you with balance & manoeuvring. The last thing anyone wants is you having anymore falls XX
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I understand - i have very little support (or guidance) from my oncologist too. So many mistakes have been made. I have just turned 40 & also cannot do much with my left leg now. X
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Hi sbee
Im so sorry to hear what you are going through. I have a daughter the same age as you and cant imagine her dealing with it any differently. None of us deserve this but 40 is too young. Why are you in so much pain? I had radiotherapy in my spine where trapped nerve is and that was causing pain in my pelvis and groin and it has really helped. Ive had this twice now since I was diagnosed wirh secondary bc 2 years ago. Have u not been offered this? My bc nurse also referred me to the local hospice for pain management. I had input from them for a couple of months. You shouldnât be in so much pain. My gripe is the lack of physiotherapy on offerâŚ.or referral to a bone consultant. Ive bought my own walking sticks but what might be next. Im worried about the falls. Please ask your oncology team for help with the pain. Let me know how you get on. Big hugs to u sbee . Xx
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Hi everyone, I am jumping in here after reading along because I am trying to work out if I should be worried about this right hip/pelvis pain I have. Google Ai freaked out when I told it my symptoms earlier and said I should call an ambulance and not move at all in case I break my bones.
I havenât called an ambulance.
I had IDC grade 3 in September 2024. Hormone positive. No lymph node involvement
I have had an off pain in hip since July. Worse when i stand up. Limping sometimes and sometimes keeping me awake. I get tingling foot now and I canât raise my leg to the side but i can raise it forward and back. I have also been breathless and a bit under the weather recently with fatigue (day time naps previously unheard of). Anyway google thinks i should be very concerned about it can anyone describe how it came about for them please if possible. I feel rude jumping on but its the first thread nearest to my situation thank you x
Hi square-boob
I think you have nothing to lose from having your pain investigated. If you are feeling concerned then dont ignore it. Please let us know how you get on. Xxx