Bone secondaries, living in fear of spreading

Hi, I have had bilateral mx & free flap recon, chemo, rads and currently on Zoladex and Exemestane and have check ups every three months which they are trying to push to every six months. I am petrified of a spread mainly because whilst waiting for my op the cx spread to my other breast/lymph nodes which I found not the hospital! My bones have been stable for about 9mths now but every ache scares me terribly. I am 41 and struggling to see further than a week at a time. There was a possibility of job progression but then I realised whats the point i would only be letting people down if i were to become ill again and that it could happen anytime. Can anyone help me learn to live with this?

Dear Faraway

While you are waiting for some responses from other forum members I wondered if you had seen our resource pack for people with secondary breast cancer.  Here is the link:

There is also a long standing thread in the Living with Secondary Breast Cancer section called " bone mets please join in " which you may find helpful to read/join.

You could also phone our helpline to talk over how you are feeling.  They can offer you practical information and emotional support.  The opening times are 9-5 on weekdays and 10-2 on Saturdays.  The number is 0808 800 6000

Very best wishes


BCC Moderator

Iv got lung mets and i wont be put off applying for things i wanna do as long as its gonna benefit me… The person they employ could be fit and well and drop down dead of a stroke and you might still be here in 15 years time, my pal val… (Scottishlass) has had bone mets for 14 years.

If you want that job… Apply for it… Whats the point? Cos you might be around a lot longer than you think.


I agree with all Lulu has said. It’s hard once you have a cancer diagnosis but try not to live life in fear. Many of us who have had spread still make goals, changes. I was diagnosed with bone mets ten years ago. Go for any job possibility.

Thanks Lulu and Belinda , I know I need to be more positive but as you know it us hard some days :slight_smile: