Hi hannah, it is very scarey, but we are stronger than this, and we cant give up without a fight.
I think another brain scan will be in a few weeks, my eyesight is still as bad as ever, sitting here typing with a pirates eyepatch on that i bought from ebay lol.
I had a bone scan and body scan last week, i get results of them on wednesday.
I finished 4x EC and 4x docetaxel in december, had good results surposedly too, 25 axilla nodes all clear, no vascular invasion. But the central nodes that i have always complained about were found to be still full of cancer, so i guess thats were it was hiding.
My oncologist says if we get a good reaction from the rads then chemo next, unrentless isnt it?
Dont be scared though Hannah, (easier said than done) Keep those lovely children in mind, and fight with every bit of you.
big hug
annaxx
Hi Anna, Hannah and Paula, So sorry you nare having to deal this its a complete nightmare this cr.p disease without having to deal with this. I will be thinking of you and hoping the radiotheraphy does its job and gets the .ggers.
Love Lesley xx
Hello Ladies, well, what can I say, I am totally overwhelmed with the level of response and support to my previous post. Thank you so much to all of you, I find it so helpful to be able to come onto the forums and be totally honest with my hopes and fears.
I am feeling very much like I am on an emotional rollercoaster ride. But even in these few dark days I do feel I am starting to cope a little better. Think I will be better again after MRI scan results on Wednesday when I find out if surgery is an option.
My husband and I told our 12 year old yesterday. We had to really psyche ourselves up for it as I kept dissolving into tears at the thought of it but to be honest it went better than expected. Ryan was only 5 when I got cancer first time round so doesn’t really remember having a mum without cancer. It doesn’t seem to cross his mind that this will kill me sooner or later and I really don’t feel we should disillusion him, not before we know the treatment options anyway. So we told Ryan that cancer was back and was growing in a different part of my body so I would need further treatment and was no longer able to drive. We told him that we would have treatment plan next week. Ryan did great at just accepting this and didn’t even ask which part of the body it had spread to, so the scary “brain” word was not mentioned.
Belinda – thank you so much for posting KitKats diaries. They have really helped me feel that perhaps there is a chance that the treatment might do some good. They really gave me a boost.
Hannah & Anna – so sorry that you are also both going through this crap. Looks like our treatment journey’s will be very close so we will be able to spur each other on.
Well, for once the sun is shining in Northumberland so we are off for a nice family walk. Will just have to try not to ricochet off too many people as I am walking around. Think people will think I have been at the whiskey bottle with my poor coordination, balance and vision!
Take care everyone and thanks again for all of the lovely posts. They really help.
Will keep in touch, love Paula X
Just wanted to send my best wishes to Paula, Hannah and Anna. I so wish I had something more useful to say but just needed to post something to let you know I am thinking of you all and wishing you well in your treatments.
Love
Linda
Paula - i’ve been away for the weekend and just got back so only just seen your news… I can not even begin to say how sorry i am… I know we talked that day in the car we talked about brain mets and how scary they are…
Sending you, Hannah and Anna so much love and hope that the rads treatment gives you lots more precious time…
Paula - i don’t know if you will even want to meet up and see people but i’m always here if you do…
Theresa x
Hello Paula, Anna and Hannah, I don’t have the same mets as you but just want to let you know that I too am thinking about you. I have had bone mets for 11 years. I had a problem with my ears 2 years ago and thought it might be brain mets. By it turned out to be Tinnitus and I have learned to cope with that now. Just sending cyber hugs to you all and will be looking out for further posts to hear how you got on after your recent tests. Much love, Val
Hello
just wanted to send love to you all. Sometimes life seems terribly unfair and this bl**dy illness is such a sneaking, poisonous thing.
Paula - don’t know how I have missed this the past few days, so very sorry to hear about this - as Theresa says, if you’d like to meet up (or if there is anything I can do at all) please let me know xx
I hope you all have good responses to treatment and that you and your families find some good times together in all this
you’ll all be in my thoughts
monica xxx
Huge hugs and good vibes to Paula,Hannah and Anna.
Love
Dot
xx
Just wanted to send hugs to Hannah Paula and Anna. My thoughts are with you all
Gina XXX
Hannah, Paula and Anna
I’m thinking of you. Love and best wishes to you all.
Anthi x
Hi to Paula, Hannah and Anna
I can’t believe that there are 3 ladies going through the awful diagnosis of brain mets at the same time. Knowing how supportive the secondaries forum is on here I hope you are able to gain strength for all the positive messages you have had (and will get) on here and also be able to support each other. Wishing you all the very best from your treatments and will be thinking of all of you over the coming weeks and months.
Nicky x
Hi paula, hannah and anna, just wanted to send all 3 of you a big (((hug))) and let you know i am thinking of you all and will follow you on here, i am glad you have each other for support. Hope all your treatments go well…i don’t know what else to say…apart from this makes me sooooo angry…Luv to you all, pauline xxxx
Hi Ladies
Just wanted to let you know how I got on today.
The good news is that there is definitely “only” one large solitary mass at the back left of my brain. Apparently breast cancer normally dumps more than 1 deposit so given the shitty news we had already received, I am looking on this as a positive.
No grand action plan as yet - now we know there is one mass all my scans, reports etc are being whizzed off to the Neuro Surgeons at Newcastle to see if surgery is a viable option or not. Apparently my mass is slightly bigger than the standard guidelines (guidelines are 3 cm and my mass is 3.4 by 3.1 cm) but they are going to discuss it in their multi disciplinary team meeting on Friday. So fingers crossed as surgery may well give me best chance of a good outcome given the size of it.
If not, hopefully gamma knife is still an option.
My head still feels like a pressure cooker, apparently due to extensive swelling in the brain so will be stepping up the steroids again to get it reduced.
Not sure how I feel today, has been one of my roughest weeks ever, couldn’t stop crying this morning, but feeling strangely calm this evening. I guess we all have a rollercoaster of emotions with this illness.
Thank goodness for my wonderful family and friends who have all been so fabulous.
Best wishes to us all X X X
Anna & Hannah - hope you are getting on OK. Would be interested to hear how you are managing the treatment if you get a chance to reply.
Oh Paula, What a lot to deal with…it is just sh***y…I wish I could offer more support…I will be interested in what they decide will be the next course of treatment. I am never very sure about brain mets…as a lady in my street has had brain tumour for YEARS and she seems to be is doing ok. I am not saying she has had an easy ride but she looks after her grandchildren sometimes. How do you cope with something like this?..I do not know…but just to say we are there for you any time you want to rant and rave. Please keep posting as we will worry about you otherwise. My heart goes out to you Paula…Much love Val XX
Hello Paula,
just wanted to send you much much love
been thinking about you a lot
let me know if there is ANYTHING I can do to support you
xxx monica x
Hi Paula
I don’t know much about brain mets but from what you’ve said this is as good an outcome as you could have hoped? It must still be very difficult to know what to think or do but at least the ball is rolling now and you’ll get a plan of action soon. Hopefully you’ll know soon and get that pressure released and start to feel the good effects of treatment. Take care
Nicky x
ps to Anna and Hannah - still thinking of you both and hoping treatment is helping you as well.
Hi Paula
I was thinking of you yesterday and wondering how you got on… xxx
Hope they are able to soon let you know what the plan of action is and not keep you wondering over the weekend… Please let me know if there is anything I can do…
Take care
Theresa x
I hope surgery will be an option for you Paula…if not re Gamma I know some friends who have had the treatment and they had very few side effects.
Good Luck, I hope you soon find out the exact plan and can get started on the best treatment option.
xxx
just wanted to add im thinking of you all, paula, hannah and anna, hope all your treatments go well, stay stronge girls luv pauline xxx
Hi paula and anna
just wondering how you’re getting on? any news on your treatment paula? what’s the next plan for you anna?
I’m halfway through brain rads - hate it so much, psychologically more than anything else - it just really freaks me out. seeing onc on tues to find out about next chemo plan - need to know now what’s ahead over next few months - scared that not many options left for me as capecitabine and lapatinib didn’t work and herceptin wasn’t great either
look forward to hearing from you both
xxx