Hello everyone. As i write this, I’m in a very bad space and I hope, that someone is may in a similar situation like me and will reach out and share experiences, or just will comment. I started to use this forum, when our daughter was diagnosed with breast cancer last March. Since then she found out, that she also inherited the faulty BRCA1 gene. Our son, my husband and myself all have been tested. Our son and my husband have been cleared to an incredible huge relief. I unfortunately have also the BRCA1 gene. In December I had my remaining left ovary and both falopian tubes removed. My breast surgery is cheduled for May. Support after the OP has been none exsistant. I also struggle to a very high level with panic attacks and thanatophobia since my late teens. I am 54 and realising by searching myself( which I absolutely hate and avoid) I find more and more out that even in my age im at a high risk for heart attacks…cognitive decline and strokes - to mention only the worst. My bloodpressure i ( up till last year was the only thing is always could rely on) has gone unregular and often is now in high readings. I’m not sleeping, I can’t manage to find rest, nor am I able anymore to find distraction…im in a real bad state. Today I spoke to a nurse on the phone- she was incredible and I had an extream meltdown…I couldn’t even ask the things I wanted to ask…I just lost it, like a full blown brake down. I live in Denmark in a very rural area- which gor me makes everything even worse. I called the hospital where my OP was done today, to speak to a doctor saying that I feel absolutely overwhelmed and allone with all this. Yhat ni one in any way or form talked to me, explained and pointed out all these super scary things. Aparently a doctor will call me tomorrow over the next 2 days. I also called my GP for the same reasons. I honestly can’t believe that im entired left allone with this… I can’t deal with all this anymore… my husband is so worried and feels so helpless to not being able to make things better for me… it effects him deeply …and of course all what our daughter went through and still has in front of her…is insane…is a never ending nightmare. How can someone reduce stress ??? With this going on…which makes me even more anxiously… hrt treatment freaks me out even more, as listed side effects are bloodclots and strokes… honestly…this will destroy me…this constant overwhelming fear… i feel so restless to an extream…turmoil…like a caged animal constant tense pressure I feel im going to loose it…
If someone please can reach out would be so very much appreciated…
Apologies for the all over the place writing/ grammar…but im all over the place
Nobody reading your post could be anything but deeply sympathetic with your feelings and I’m sending you lots of positive thinking and support.
However you are going to have to dig deep and find some strength. Your daughter needs you and should be able to rely on her mother as someone she can lean on during her treatment, so try to find the capacity within yourself to be there for her. It will almost certainly be helpful not to focus on yourself which will assist with your anxiety. Yes of course there are increased risks of side affects from cancer treatment but, proportionately these are relatively small. It really isn’t worth having the whole family in a state of high anxiety over unknowns which are unlikely to occur.
I am guessing you are an anxious person in normal times so perhaps it would be helpful to seek cognitive therapy support as your cancer team may not feel able to cope with how you describe yourself. This is a difficult time for your whole family and you have never been more needed SO stop imagining the worst and concentrate on helping g your family through. In doing so you will undoubtedly help yourself.
So sorry for what you have been through. I don’t know how things work in Denmark but you need to try and find some counselling service and perhaps some medication to help you feel calmer (hopefully the doctor calling you will organise this). If you feel suicidal at any stage do not be afraid to tell them.
I think we were in touch when your daughter was first diagnosed, but who would have thought how things would escalate for you. I’m so sorry to hear it, when you were trying everything to help her.
The only simple self-help things I can suggest to relieve acute anxiety, are exercise(brisk walking for example), good movies, music, meditation. There is a very good app called headspace with simple meditations.
I don’t believe the treatments and side effects are so bad. I’ve had everything thrown at me twice over. Now, 18 and 7 years later, I feel fitter than ever. My next door neighbour dealt with BRACA diagnosis 12 years ago and had all the treatment imaginable and she says the same thing. Of course where anxiety is concerned I know it’s much easier to look back on things than when we were dealing with them in the first place
So I send you love and hugs and I hope you find some relief soon from feeling so awful
Firstly, I am so so sorry to hear what you are going through. After everything with your daughter, I’m sure that discovering that you yourself have the BRCA1 gene has been extremely difficult, especially with the surgery you’ve already been through and still have coming up, I think it’s extremely brave of you to speak about your fears in this way - and you have done the right thing in coming to the forum for support. We are here for you, any time you need us - day or night, and you can post here as much as you need to.
Hopefully when the doctor calls you, you are able to talk through your feelings and ask any questions you have - it might be helpful for you to write down any thoughts you want to share with them, so that in the moment, while your head might be elsewhere, you are able to still get the information that you need.
Unfortunately our helpline is only available in the UK, however you can still ask our nurses any questions you have in our Latest Ask our Nurses your questions topics - Breast Cancer Now forum section where they will respond to you. Even if you just tell them how you’re feeling, they might be able to give you advice on managing your anxiety.
There are a number of helplines available in Denmark that you might find it useful to talk to if you feel overwhelmed in the meantime before you get a chance to speak with your doctor: Denmark helplines and hotlines You might also want to find out if there is a Danish breast cancer or cancer charity which offers a support helpline similar to ours. If you are ever in crisis, please do not hesitate to contact emergency services.
Omg. I feel for you. Sooo much to deal with all at once.
I had my ovaries removed because of BRCA2 which was found after a cancer diagnosis. After having my ovaries op I was a complete wreck, I had gone from being positive and in control to being anxious about everything and same here would have a breakdown about absolutely anything. Also I had a dark cloud of doom hanging over me and my thoughts weren’t my own. I recognised this, like you have and that it is not ok and that something needed to be done to get back to being me again.
GP offered antidepressants which I considered and then turned down.
I put it out to my friends and asked what they all do. Got lots of responses and quite varied. From exercise, evening primrose oil, just get on with it and one friend who said Ladycare magnet. I already exercised, getting on with it wasn’t working. Evening primrose I didn’t feel was worthwhile so I invested in the magnet.It worked like a dream. I could feel it working as soon as I started to wear it. I have worn it every day and night since. This was 2.5 years ago and I have never looked back. The website is labalance.life
I do hope you try it and it works for you like it did me.
Wishing you well. Xxxx
I hope you’re feeling a little better today and so sorry to hear of your results.
The only thing I can add is that if the leaflets for HRT or anything like the ones in the UK then they sound like they’re well out of date. Modern transdermal HRT does not cause blood clots or strokes and it’s likely out of date information. If you wanted to read more on this the Balance app and website is very good. HRT is actually a vasodilator so helps lower blood pressure
