Just before Christmas our daughter gave us the wonderful news that she is expecting our first grandchild, as you can imagine we were all thrilled by the news but unfortunately this joy was very short lived as she found a lump in her breast which has now been confirmed as cancer. She is only 29 and struggling to come to terms with her diagnosis. She is full of anger at having the joy of her first pregnancy stolen from her by this disease, and is understandably in a vulnerable place.
She has had a chest x-ray and liver scan which are clear apart from the tumor itself and on our third lymph node biopsy in a couple of weeks as the last two were not ideal, just waiting for swelling to go down before her third one.
As you can imagine we are pretty much all over the place with our emotions but I need to be as strong as I can for her to get through this and fight to stay positive.
I just wondered if anyone else here has experience of this situation who could offer a little support and light at the end of a dark tunnel.
Also if anyone has any ideas of things I can get her to help her be more comfortable I would be grateful.
Hi Rose, sending lots of strength to you and your daughter.
I was diagnosed in 2017 when I was 31 weeks pregnant with my second child. I had a lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy whilst pregnant then chemo and radio after my daughter was born. My treatment finished just as she reached 6 months old though I’m still on Tamoxifen. It is beyond cruel to be diagnosed at a point in your life which should be immensely enjoyable and exciting, but the best piece of advice I was ever given was “you need to have something bigger than the cancer to focus on”. A baby certainly fills that box!
Have you heard of Mummy’s Star? They’re a charity who support mums who are diagnosed with any type of cancer in pregnancy or in the first year of baby’s life. They have a forum she can join to chat directly to women who have been/are going through the same or similar experiences and emotions. It’s a great place to scream where everyone totally understands.
I also joined the thread on here for everyone who started chemo in the same month as me. I now have a wonderful group of friends who helped me through all the c**p.
In terms of what you can get for her, if she’s having surgery I found the heart shaped cushions invaluable for comfort and sleeping. I also switched all of my toiletries to ones with no nasties (there are loads but I went with MooGoo). And of course plenty of stuff for baby!
You’ll both fight this together and your grandchild will know what an awesomely strong mummy they have.
I’m happy for you or her to message me anytime x And please ask anything!