Morning,
I have to go tomorrow to have a mammo and u/s as a my needle biopsy last Thursday showed “lots of irregular cells” . I found a lump exactly this time last year and it turned out to be nothing. After referral they didn’t even do a needle test but mammo and u/s (sorry haven’t quite got used to all the terms and abbreviations yet) so I felt a bit foolish for wasting peoples time. Hence me not being worried this time…until last Thursday!
Struggling to sleep…going mad, waiting the worse bit so the ongoing theme is on this brilliant forum.
But…I don’t smoke (never have done) am 40 with no family history, am fit - love running, in fact do 6 miles a day (stupid mad Beagle accompanying me at 6 o’clock every morning (I know I know that’s not normal!!!)- did the London Marathon last year in 4.09, eat so healthily it is a family joke - I even eat quinoa out of choice - who does that? and am not stressed - or wasn’t until now!! I do love the odd large glass of dry white though - maybe that is it…do you think?
Got to go in on Saturday morning to discuss results…will I get any idea tomorrow? If the radiologist tuts or sucks her teeth I should worry right? Will they just leave the lump - feels quite big, much bigger than last year if it is benign irregular cells (is there such things? - think so).
Blimey wouldn’t wish this on anyone, but having read some of the tales on the forum I feel a bit of a fraud posting as ‘all will be well’ I am sure - won’t it?!!
Oh dear and I am normally so laid back and sensible - I am normally the one dishing out the advice!
hello annilen, this is the worst part, the worrying and the un known, i was diagnosed with breast cancer in april, the mammogram showed calcifications and i had ultrasound as well, i was told there and then that there was a possibility of early breast cancer {DCIS } i had core bioseys done 2 confirm the dignosis my cancer turned out to be invasive but it was picked up at the earliest oppertunity . i think in most cases they prefer to wait for the results, and it is the waiting thats the worst part, try to stay strong, i know its so hard, thinking of you and i hope everything turns out ok xx PS i dont think the wine will make any differance
Hello Annielen. Yes thus is the hard part. Don’t try and read things into what they say either. I was diagnosed in October but getting on fine. The worst part for you now is everyone telllong you that it will be fine. No amount of that will make any difference to how you feel.
Don’t ever think that you should feel differently to how you do or that you shouldn’t write things on here. You’ll always get brilliant support whatever you write.
Im full of admiration for your healthy lifestyle. Am aiming for that next year. My red setter won’t know what’s hit him!
Good luck.
Polly xxx
Morning Annielen,
I wish telling you not to worry would work but i know it wont but what I will say is that people do go as far as biopsy stage to be told that all is ok, am no expert on this but have been in your position just a week ago myself & the waiting is awful.
I am not sure if there is any set way of things happening but I do know that I asked at every stage, almost to prepare me for next stage, for example when I had the ultrasound & was told that they wanted to do a biopsy I asked them to please be honest & tell me what their feeling was on what we were dealing with, which in a way helped me for the next stage which was results,i was told at biopsy that they did indeed feel we were dealing with something not so good but then I know that some people ask & are only told that until results are in they can say nothing, I think it must depend on the radiologist/hospital.
As for lifestyle if i have learnt anything over the last week, this disease is so random on who it picks & I truly believe that there is not one thing any of us could of done to prevent it, I tick none of the boxes either but in the space of 7 days have managed to turn my thinking from why me to why not me, more so after reading some of the stories on this forum of other peoples incredible & often successful journeys & i have gained great comfort & reassurance from this.
I know that this really doesn’t answer all your questions & that until Saturday you will indeed worry but you need to try & take hold of it all & put it to one side as there is nothing you can do between now & then to change the outcome & that said you need to believe that as much as you are worrying about bad news, you may well indeed receive good news (it does happen) & I will keep everything crossed for you, also try not to read too much as you will just end up with information overload & anything you “google” etc your eyes will automatically be drawn to the worst scenarios.
I truly hope tomorrow & Saturday go well for you but if the outcome is not as anyone would want it to be, please know that there are woman (& men) on here who will be there to guide, support, advise & comfort every step of the way.
Take Care & massive hugs to you
Sarah.xxx
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Morning
There is nothing much I can add to the above except to say that the waiting for results is the worst…
The feelings that you are experiencing are totally normal and don’t beat yourself up over your lifestyle and anything you have done in the past. This horrible disease is undiscriminating, I have no family history, eat reasonably healthily, drink moderately but do smoke. I was gobsmacked to find when I did some reading, that this is not a major contributory factor to my cancer. So why me? No answer to that one!
My thoughts are with you and sending you lots of hugs.
SJ xx
Hi Honey,
I was you a couple of weeks ago.
I sound fairly similar, although had only just taken up jogging (much to the fascination of all who know me!) but take regular long walks, eat really healthily yet let my hair down with a good glass of wine.
of course you are worried and letting all the demons take over your mind. This is what everyone does. From being in control of your life everything has suddenly stopped because this is consuming you.
You can’t start asking yourself if you might have caused this to happen (If it has happened - you don’t know that yet). You have done exactly what you should have done - noticed the lump and got it seen to. Now they will throw everything at you to make sure that you are going to be alright. Whatever faults the NHS may have i can assure you that they don’t mess around with this. Don’t let the speed of things worry you either - they have a 2 week target to meet and won’t get paid if they don’t hit it, so if you’re thinking ‘oh my god they must be worried otherwise this wouldn’t be happening!!!’ it’s not so.
When i was going through this bit i went straight to the docs for sleeping pills. Those demons get bigger and nastier at 2 in the morning and i didn’t care for their company. So that might be something that you can do for yourself; not only will it give you a good kip it will also put you in the driving seat about something.
I’m not going to be glib and say ‘don’t worry - it’ll be fine’ because you can’t just step out of this horrible thing but i am going to say look at these tests as a positive step. It’s good that they are checking.
Keep coming on, i have been touched, reassured and cheered up by the people here and i hope that some of this will reach you.
We’re all gunning for you.
xxxxx
Wow, thank you all SO much - what a bunch of people you are. Got to get through today - smile on - check… and then tomorrows test and then Saturday morning and then back to work…I work in a boarding school so the sleeping pills are not an option just in case I am needed in the night - bummer!! Still, end of term next week!!
X
Hey annielen,
I will be thinking of you today, don’t try to read too much into the why’s and whatnots, BC doesn’t discriminate I always thought I too was a low risk.
Waiting is the worst part as people have already said, but whatever your DX is at least now you will be in ‘the system’, and hopefully things can progress rapidly.
Try to keep busy - easier said than done - and don’t be afraid to let your feelings out, even if it is only on this forum, it does feel good to let them out
xxxxxxx
HI Annielen thinking of you today and sending good vibes and hugs ive also sent you a private message xxx Julie
Hi Annielen
I’m bricking it today as well, but I’m the other way round to you, as I have already had the mammogram and ultrasound 4 weeks ago (and was told there and then that it wasn’t likely to be good news) and am having the dreaded biopsy this afternoon.
So I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow, and if you feel like having a little wobble before then, I may just join you.
Big hugs, the waiting will soon be over.
Cathy x
Dear Cathy,
Bless you - let us know how you get on - thinking of you.
Does anyone know would you ever have chemo to shrink a benign tumour - this wretched think seems huge, I won’t have anything left if they take it out!! - Not that I am obsessing or worrying at all - perfectly calm, barely thought about it all day, couldn’t be better!!!
Love
Tracy
tracey you wont have to have chemo if its benign ive sent you another pm x
hope all has gone well.
waiting is so the worse part.
brilliant you did the marathon. and your life can still have all the same things in it.
try not to get too much in a state, try and focus and conserve energy.
xxxx
Tracy hope youe appointment goes well today x thinking of you. Let us know how it goes and we are all here for support ( if you should need it hopefully not ) xxJulie