So many lovely messages from you all from my previous posts, thank you all, means so much.
Well, it all kicks off tomorrow and feel worn out before it starts! Had a real heart to heart with my other half last night, mostly in tears, he feels I’m shutting him out…I am, I don’t want him hurting.
Pre op tomorrow, sentinal node thingy on tuesday and op on wednesday.Can’t tell you how scared I am. We were planning a december wedding but brought forward to Nov 21st. So hard planning a wedding with all this hanging over us.
Feel like I’m broken in to tiny bits and I just want to be put back together again. Been told will start chemo very soon, just praying that my hair will hold out for wedding, so wanted ringlets and flowers
Sorry, can’t believe this is happening to me, what lousy timing lol
but same for us all I know xx
Hello jpangel
Sorry that you are having such a challenging time, it cannot be easy for you.
Really hope you get your wedding of your dreams, ringlets and all.
You will get loads of posts of support in the next few days. women who really can empathise with you. Hopefully chemo will not have to begin before your wedding.
I am comparitively old late 40s and nearly 2 years on from diognosis with marriage, children, divorce etc all done and dusted, but the breastcancer knocks you for ten at whatever time in your life, certainly a lot of scary stuff goes through your head, sooo normal.
Pleased that you have been able to talk to other half, keep talking.
Hope pre-op is okay tomorrow, when is the actual op?
Cyber hugs,
Alice
Hi jpangel, the speed of all this makes your head spin and for me it just felt to be totally surreal,hmm still does… Just wanted to let you knowthat I am the biggest wuss,re hospitals,needles,pain etc However, the thought of everything was far worse than the actual op,I had a fine old time in hospital and the pain killers I got post op were paracetemol,but they worked .
Be kind to yourself,it is difficult for us but also for those close to us. Just remember we are all in this together and you will never be alone on here,it’s a great place to come if you need any help or info or support ,keep chatting and good luck.
Sandra x
alice and sandra, thank you so much for your thoughts. Felt a bit of a numpty cause pre op assessment was fine and I’d stressed so much about it lol. Was in for 15 mins (My letter said could be 4 hours, you start to wonder why they need you for 4 hours…)
So feeling much better tonight. Got the sentinal node scan tomorrow (Tuesday) Expecting blue tears but bet it’s the one day I don’t cry lol. Op on wednesday, not feeling optimistic cause have had an awful lot of pain the last few days, breast, neck and shoulder. I know it could be psychological, consultant says it’s small and treatable…but it’s not in his breast is it.
Anyway, taking deep breaths, trying to stay calm.
thanks again and thoughts are with you
kate xx
Dear Kate
just wanted to wish you well for this week and all the stuff you have going on. Like Alice, I hope you have the wedding you have dreamed of and that you remember it all through a long life, with happiness.
Also, as Sandra says, the anticipation (dread) of so much of tests and treatment are worse than the reality, and this week will soon pass.
BC is rough for we older women but I am really sad that it affects you younger ones - I have a beloved daughter who is 21 and the thought of it happening to her at a young age is my big scary fear.
Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself in the coming days. My psychologist said something really helpful to me last week, she said I should allow people who love me to share the burden, as I would want to, if it was happening to them. You and your OH have a burden that neither of you deserve, and I hope you get through this close and happy
god bless xx
Kate - Good luck for today and tomorrow.
Love Ann x
Hi Kate,
Hope you get to read this before your op…
I just wanted to add that the op is really not as bad as you think it’s going to be. I had never had a General Anaesthetic or operation of any kind before ( in fact had only been in hospital to give birth) and I was scared witless. I would argue with Sandra that I am actually the world’s biggest wuss!!! and was in bits before I had to go to the hospital.
However, it was quick, I had very little pain, no side effects from the General Anaesthetic and I now feel that if ( God forbid) I ever have to go through it again I will be so much calmer.
Wishing you lots of luck for tomorrow and make sure you rest lots afterwards.You will feel so much better when it’s done, I promise!
Love
Anna x
Hey katie
hope you get to read this before yur op tomorrow, I had my WLE and SNB last weds !!
I was very anxious as never having an op before. But it went well, i did feel a bit crap afterwards… recovering but i felt safe in hospital and looked after. Following day and at home I was on a high felt so relieved that this 1st stage was over with. Since then Ive been on a rollercoaster of emotions which is to be expected.
Maybe you can ask for something to calm you before your op?
Before i go, wear ordinary knickers for the op … i forgot… and wore normal thong… hehe… that was an embarrasing mistake!! LOLOL
Take an ipod for relaxing. ~hugs~ Deb
Good luck for tomorrow !! I was given some lovely paper knickers to wear 
xxchipperxx
Just got back from hospital, very sore but so so glad I’ve got that bit over and done with. Can’t describe the relief I felt as I walked through the front door. Good news is that sentinal node looked ok and although I appreciate that the test isn’t 100% I’m feeling a lot more optimistic than I was at the beginning of the week.
Thank you all for your kind words and reassurances, it really helped to settle my nerves. As you all said the op itself wasn’t nearly as terrifying as I expected with lots of help and care from the team at the hospital.
Was very dissapointed that I had to swap my carefully selected sensible knickers for paper ones!
Thanks again everyone, thoughts are with you all
kate xx
Kate
So glad it all went ok. It is a lovely relief to get home safely, isn’t it? It’s also great news about your sentinel node. Mine was the same, and the lab test confirmed it.
They let me wear my own knickers - as long as they are cotton, they said.
Make sure you do the exercises and good luck with your results! Love Ann x