but i don't feel ill??

i found a lump in my left breast about 2 months ago, this has been confirmed as breast cancer and biospy also confirmed that lymph nodes are affected, so i will have clearance of the nodes.
i was hoping for lumpectomy, but have received tel call today that following my MRI the consultant wishes to see me before my op on thursday, i asked her if this means its not the news i was hoping for, she confirmed that there suspicious areas have shown up on MRI, and he needs to discuss other options
i had my head around lumpectomy, radiotherapy and any other possible treatment but i now feel i like i felt when 1st diagnosed.
sense tells me that i need to do whatever to get rid, but how can i feel perfectly well (apart from the stress of all this) but need to have a breast removed? and not only that, i’m never ill, in the past 3 years i’ve probably had 2 bouts of illness…i don’t understand

I remember feeling like that when I was first diagnosed. I was not ill and went sailing along to my first breast cancer screening much as I had to all of those cervical smear tests for years. The shock when I found out I had breast cancer, even the surgeon could not find any lumps. I remember thinking that I was grateful they found it before I felt ill, as if I had started feeling ill maybe it would have been too late to treat.
Not sure if that helps at all, as learning you have the diagnosis is obviously a huge shock. Guess you try and hang onto small straws!

thats a good point actually, if i were feeling ill, it would prob be too late to help me…i just feel that things are going from bad to worse. Most lumps arn’t serious…mine was, not all lymph nodes affected, mine are, probably a lumpectomy, Nope looks like masectomy. i knew this was a possibility, but i really thought it wouldn’t be that. i think i’m more upset today than i have been since the 1st results

I was like you - I was hardly ever ill. But since they have started treating me for breast cancer - I have never been well. I am either constipated or I have the trots, tired but unable to sleep. In pain from chemotherapy and injections to boost white cells. Battered and bruised from biopsies and injections. My body seems to belong to medical science now - it certainly doesn’t belong to me.

My son came home from work today to find me asleep on the sofa - “what did you do today Mum?” - er…this?

Seriously though - it will get better, it will be worth it. We all want to live? Right? That is why I put up with it. I look forward through the dimly lit path through the dark wood and I can see a glimmer of golden light.

Several years ago, long before my own diagnosis, I was chatting to a former neighbour who had recently completed chemotherapy following a mastectomy. One of the things she was told at the local hospital was that ‘you come in feeling well and we make you ill’, and that this contributes to the trauma. Some of us have no symptoms at all, not even a lump, when a tumor is picked up on by screening.

Cancer can occur in people who are otherwise healthy and who lead very healthy lives.

But yes, getting progressively worse news is hard to take. You have my very best wishes.

hey gill13

have you had your appointment? is surgery today? if so you’re probably not here. just want to say i feel similar, every time there’s a range of possibilities i seem to get the worst one. PET scan tomorrow. let’s see which of the possibilities i’m landed with.

sometimes i feel fine and quite sanguine and able to accept what’s happening, then the ghastliness of it overwhelms me and i worry that we’re all being far to accepting and should be railing against the dark. but then i realsie we don’t really have an option. very complicated trying to think my way around this.

hope you’re ok, keep in touch

judes xxxx

Hi Gill13,

So sorry you have had to join our unfortunate club, I remember feeling exactly the same way you did when I was dx, I had no symptoms other than an itch on my right breast, then they dx with IDC 6cm lump in right breast and lymph nodes were positive, also that it had spread to my lungs. I really do understand how you are feeling, I was confused as I had never felt so healthy then this happens.

Started off having chemo which reduced the primary lump in my breast to 2mil then mx and out of the 13 nodes they took out only one had some disease in it. Just had the op 2 weeks ago and feel fine nearly back to normal, not as painful as you would imagine, infact not painful at all especially if you stay on top of it with the pain killers. Now going to do rads but feel encouraged by how well the treatment has worked, and yes I did look ill in hospital but everyone does when they have had an operation, looking much better now.

You will be fine it does take time to come to terms with all of this, I did’nt get much time before starting on chemo almost at dx straight away, then into mx all under 7 months but its got to be done. Thank god you have found it and as soon as your plan is in action you will feel better.

Sending you love, light and many hugs
Sarahlousie xxx

Hi Gill13

I didn’t feel ill either but I have since found from this forum and Macmillan, that in early stage bc you don’t. I felt a lump in my breast,went to the doc who referred me to the clinic.

I went along to the breast clinic the same way I attend smear tests, “it’ll be nothing”… and still can’t remember anything much than the ultrasound lady telling me she was going to biopsy my lump!

Everything after that is a blur even now!! I thank anyone up there that it was found when it was, it was a complete shock, one minute it wasn’t there and then I was playing with my grandson, he caught my boob with his foot and 3 days later I felt it, it just popped up from nowhere!!!

I was only screened last november and that was clear.

I had to get on a train to a different town to go to the breast clinic, my poor hubby and I got lost coming home.

I fell apart in the next week or so, I’m usually independent, strong willed and just tuned into nervous wreck, not eating, sleeping or functioning normally at all. Didn’t want to get out of bed in the morning… you name it, I felt it!!!

I have since come to terms with my bc (mostly, apart from the odd meltdown)and am now determined to do anything I am told to remedy a situation that I didn’t ever think I would be in.

I asked for a mastectomy as my lump is large in comparison to my breast this is my choice but maybe if you expect WLE it’s a shock.

Sending you my best wishes. M

am new to this site and just read this comment and related completely. full of beans, enjoying my new grandaughter and free of health problems that had plagued me for years and then i found a lump. i’ve had a recent mastectomy and reconstruction and now at week three can hold my grandaughter again and feel like im recovering well. so now round ones done and see the oncologist next week re chemo. thoughts are with all those of you going through the same. if anyones at the same point id love to chat to someone, just being on here reading your stories has made me feel less alone already x

hi everyone, I am quite new to the site too. Can relate to previous posts as I too feel fit and well. In fact I had made an effort since the spring to get fit and loose weight as I didn’t want to be ‘fat and fifty’ (am 50 next August). Then came a call for a routine mammogram. I am in an area where they are trialling calling women between 47 and 73, so ordinarilly I wouldn’t have been called for another couple of years at least. I was very blase (?) about the whole thing even when I got the letter calling me back for further tests. Having read the info which said ‘9 out of 10 recalls are nothing to worry about’ I thought it was just a formality. Luckily I took my sister with me as I nearly passed out when the doc said she thought it was ‘serious’. Have since had a WLE (last Tuesday)and sentinal node biopsy. My cancer is grade 2 with no sign of lymph nodes indicated from first biopsy and ultrasound. Now in the waiting area for path results. I can’t believe how well I still feel. I am swollen and a little stiff from the WLE but am actually feeling quite guilty about being signed off work for 3 weeks. I am sure there may be worse to come but am determined to make the most of this breathing space and the lovely weather to prepare myself for what is to come. My surgeon said that being fit and ‘healthy’ could only help my recovery so I am taking comfort from that. Wish you well with your treatments everyone.

hi gingersmithy welcome to this club sorry u had to join us good luck with your path results. im 50 next august too , i found a lump and have had mastectomy and reconstruction 3 weeks ago recovering well , im sure it helped starting off feeling well .so round one done and i find out about chemo on thursday . take care x

Dear Sarahlousie,
May I ask you if your treatment is aimed at curing the cancer so it is completely gone one day? A person very close to me is about to have her last test to see if it has spread further than to the lymph nodes and I’m praying it hasn’t. But should it have I’m wondering if there is still a way to get rid of it or if you will have to live with holding it back from growing?
I’m so sorry for everyone here and their dear ones and send much love,

This is my second go round with BC - first time didn’t feel sick either -  first time found spot on annual mamma had mastectomy but didn’t have follow up treatment.  This time we felt a nodule on my scar and my oncologist did an ultrasound and biopsy and its positive again.  First time I was 52; now I’m 59 - I am going to fight this beast- but I am struggling with doing radiation-and chemo - lots of soul searching and praying.