I have been reading through posts on the site and have been blown away by all of the amazing people that post their stories on here. I wonder if anyone could offer me any advice. My mum has been diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer with liver mets. She found a lump and was told that it was cancer and it had spread to her lymph nodes. She had a mastectomy and after much messing about, it was discovered that she had mets within her liver.
My family are completely devastated by this. She begins chemo and other treatments tomorrow but we are all feeling bleak and everything sems a bit hopeless right now. The drs haven’t given us much to go. Only that it cannot be cured.
Does anyone have any advice or anything that may help us feel a bit mre positive right now?
I’ve just seen your post so I’d like to say that I was diagnosed with liver mets in summer 2009. A huge shock, as you will know, but there are chemo and other treatments that can be very effective. At the moment my quality of life is surprisingly (to me) good… Yes, the doctors talk about “control” rather than “cure”, and chemo can be grim, but there is life after this diagnosis.
And your mother and your family should be getting plenty of support, from the hospital or other sources such as BCC. (There is a “Family, partners and friends” thread on these forums.) Your mum clearly has a supportive and caring daughter…
Hi Adele. almost a year ago I was Dx with BC and lung mets, I was devastated, thought I was going to die etc… I have had all the treatments and am currently on Herceptin 3 weekly and Letrozole tablets. Saw my Onc last week and was given the best news that I am pretty much showing No Evidence of Disease, I am still stage 4 but for now all is well, it’s not curable as they say but for me , other than being tired and still a little uncomfortable after surgery and rads I am still here and back at work part-time, I hope I can give you some hope that your mum has everything to live for, chemo is hard but well worth it .
Please let us know how your mum is getting on with things and try to get her to read or post on here, I could n’t have got through without this forum and my new virtual friends.
Jean xx
I was diagnosed with liver, lung and bone mets after a routine screening breast scan in June last year. Was terrified and thought I would be dead by Xmas. 7 months on and I have finished nearly 5 months of chemo and gone back to work. I feel very well and to look at me (apart from the loss of hair, brows and eyelashes) you would think nothing was wrong.
The worst part for me is the fear of the unknown. Of dying before I’m ready. I cope by taking one day at a time, living in the moment and appreciating all the things I have. I know that at some point things will get worse, but there are women on the boards who have been living with liver secondaries for a few years and their stories give me hope. Of course, like everyone else in the world, I may get hit by a bus tomorrow. I suppose the point is, none of us know how long we have so all we can do is live for today.
Things I would advise:
Don’t google stuff. It’s scary and out of date. Stick to sites like this one, Macmillan and reputable cancer sites for good quality information.
If your mum is happy with the arrangement, get a family member to go with her to appointments to write things down and to give moral support.
Write down questions you want answered beforehand. Check who you can call if you have any more questions - perhaps the breast care nurse.
Make sure you know what the treatment consists of and side effects etc. The one big thing that I’ve learned through this journey is that your mum (and her family) need to be happy with the treatment plan and confident in the team.
If it would be useful to get a second opinion, ask for one. Lots of people do this and there is no sense of treading on toes. It’s your mums right if she feels she needs to do it.
The first few weeks are scary. Chemo is tough but doable. COme back and ask all the questions you need to.
Thank you so much for sharing your stories with me. When you are all going through so much youselves, I am really touched that you took the time to offer me some support.
Mum had her first chemo session yesterday and has her first herceptin treatment today. We were in the hospital all day as they had messed up her treatment order and she nearly ended up with the wrong drugs! She will be having a drug beginning with d (I’m not even going to attempt to spell it) and herecptin but they haven’t stipulated how long it will be for.
I guess my main question is what can I do to help mum. I’m not sure if talking about the future is a good thing, whether or not I should plan stuff for us to do together or if there is anything I can do to make this time easier for her.
I’m sending everyone big hugs and best wishes
Adele
Sorry to hear about your mum. As it has been said chemo is hard but is doable.On my good days week 2 or 3 before the next dose i used to go out for lunch or coffee and a good slice of cake and a good catch up with friends and family. We went to lots of different ones its not to much hard work better than shopping. Help around the house was good my mam would come and stay for a few days round the dates i had my treatment to help with the children and house work, i found this helped alot and for my husband too.
Keep strong and keep posting there is always someone to talk to on here