Can it get any worse ............

Just thought I’d share my experience - it helps to write it down. I was diagnosed with DCIS following a routine mammogram in March and had a lumpectomy on 25 March - the results were good thankfully, and was waiting for radiotherapy start date (luckily I am covered by insurance through work so all this happened very quickly).
Then on 23 April, without any warning, my wonderful husband had a massive heart attack - he was on life support for 4 days but had sustained massive brain damage and we had to turn the machine off and he passed away on 27 April - he was only 59 and he was my world.
My rads were due to start on 29 April but I basically told them to poke it - just couldn’t comtemplate that then. We had the funeral on 10 May and I had my initial CT scan booked for 13 May - got a phone call that morning to say the CT scanner had broken, so rescheduled for 16 May! In the meantime my wound from the op wasn’t healing properly, still leaking so I’d been seeing the surgeon during this time as well. I finally had the CT scan on 16 May, all OK, lovely tattoos and rads due to start on 20 May which I was all psyched up for - then immediately after the scan saw the surgeon re the wound … he said he wasn’t happy with it and to postpone the rads for at least another two weeks so early to mid June! You couln’t make it up could you … I am sooooo fed up with everything and not sure how much more I can take …

Dear Daxsmum

I am sorry to read your message and just wanted to say that if it would help to talk things over with someone in confidence please do call our helpliners, our team are here to offer you support and a listening ear and lines are open 9-5 during the week and 10-2 Saturdays on 0808 800 6000

Take care


Hi Daxsmum Just wanted to say how very sorry I am and what a really awful time you are having. Warm hugs you get through all this and I am sure a lot of people plus me will be thinking and routing for

Sorry to hear about the loss of your husband. I feel for what you are going through. I had a mastectomy before radiotherapy and the wound wasn’t healed enough and the radiotherapy opened it up and it was so painful and in was so badly burnt. I had to have the wound seen by a nurse every couple of days for 6 months to be packed and it slowly healed. It was horrendous. Waiting until you are properly healed is the best plan and I wish I had waited. Good luck with everything x

So sorry to hear you’ve been having such a terrible time. There’s not much more I can say, only that this is a good place to come for support x


You have had a very rough time recently. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your husband, and then to have all the delays before you can start rads. It must be unbearable at times and you are showing great strength, although you probably don’t feel that way. I’m sending you big hugs to try and help you through this difficult time and hope your scar heals properly soon so that you can begin rads.

Very good luck.
Poemsgalore xx

I would like to send you my best wishes at your difficult time

I am so sorry to read of the loss of your husband during what is also a traumatic experience. My condolences to you and your family.
Despite the frustration and anxiety of waiting for your next phase of treatment to start, it is best to wait for your surgery to heal. This forum has been a wonderful support to me. There will be other people with similar experiences who can share experiences and help make sense of this train that no one wants to be on.
With best wishes,
MM x

Dear Daxsmum,
I can not imagine how you are feeling and I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your husband.
The forums are excellent for support, please make full use of them.
Take care.
Best wishes
Susan x

It was so sad to read your post and what you have been through. It is best your wound is fully healed as I am sure you do not want any complications during rads. My chemo has been postponed for the same reason and although I was upset at first, it now gives me time to prepare both mentally and practically.
I hope you find the support and comfort you need at this time.
Best wishes and Take care
Emma xx

I am so sorry about the loss of your husband and your ongoing problems. My heart really goes out to you. Life does seem so unfair with people getting more than their fair share of devastating news. I hope you have plenty of loving friends snd family to support you at this awful time.

wow you are having it hard, so sorry about your husband, i hope treatment goes well xx

Hi, just read your post and didn’t want to read and run. Sending cyber hugs hunny what an awful time you are having.
Not sure what else I can say other than stay on this site you will get lots of support.
Wishing you well xx
Take care

Sara xx

How dreadful you poor thing please think about booking a session with Relate who might be able to help you through this emotionally. I fund raise every year for this charity and they do some amazing work and its not just about couple relationships it’s for anyone who needs some support and dealing with BC is difficult without your tragic circumstances. You are one very strong woman x

I am so sorry for your loss. It is bad enough to have a diagnosis of breast cancer and all that the treatment brings, but then to lose your husband at the same time. I cannot image what you are going through. Nothing I can say will bring you much comfort, however carrie35 is right, there are people out with whom you can talk. Cruse Bereavement Care ( ) is a friendly and caring organisation and every woman on this site is here for you too. You are not alone.
You are in my thoughts.

Just wanted to thank you all for taking the time to write and send me your support. I am now on schedule to start my rads on 3 June all being well, things are still very hard, I’m really struggling to come to terms with losing my wonderful husband so suddenly, he was my world and it’s so difficult carrying on without him. I have a lot of fantastic friends and family around me though who are helping me through all this but it seems harder since the funeral to keep going somehow, although I know I must. Thanks again to all, Val.


Wishing you luck for your radiotherapy. I can’t imagine how difficult it is for you, but please remember, your lovely husband would have wanted you to continue your treatment and lean on your friends and family in his sad absence.

Love Poemsgalore xx

Dear Daxsmum,

You are so right. It is harder after the funeral - as I’m afraid I also know. You will, however, somehow find the strength to keep on going. It sounds like you are well supported. Long may this contine. Use this forum as well - it has kept my head above water.
Take care and good luck,

Dear Daxsmum
So sorry to hear about your nightmarish few months. I was widowed in Sept 2012 so I suppose at least I had a few months to reel from that before being swept into the breast cancer tornado. I sometimes feel like a Wimbledon umpire - BC - bereavement - BC - bereavement etc. Either one would be enough, as a colleague said to me.
I hope you have good support on the ground. Good as friends and family are, I have found 1:1 counselling very helpful and also my local Maggie’s centre.
Anyway I wanted to respond to you. Hang in there.
gus x