Can’t stop crying

Hi all,

I have recently been diagnosed and will be having a mastectomy in two weeks. I have really been on auto pilot since diagnosis just over two weeks ago. We told our children this week and, having told them, we have then told a few more family and friends. 

Up until today I have been calm and matter of fact (hoping to provide stability and security for my children), but today I can’t stop crying. I feel ill from the stress (every bit of me hurts) and the feelings have hit me. I want to protect my children from hurt and upset and I can’t. I want to be there for them and yet I feel so vulnerable right now.

I guess I’m not really asking for anything, I just needed to put down how I feel. 

Wishing you all well and sending love xx

Hi KayLou2

So sorry to hear that. Big hugs Crying is a very normal reaction, it’s all so very scary. Once you’ve been diagnosed, you’re caught up in a whirlwind of appointments, planning for surgery etc and I don’t think you really take it all in. It’s very hard to have to tell people and I think you feel like you have to be strong for them. I worried about upsetting other people. Unfortunately I do not have children but I can totally understand why you feel you need to protect them but it’s best to be open and honest with them. I too had a mastectomy with immediate reconstruction with a DIEP procedure and am currently going through chemotherapy. You may feel like you won’t get through this, but you will, although it’s v hard and challenging at times. Contact your breast care nurse and have a chat with her or contact the nurses on here. It will help to talk to someone that understands. 

Good luck with everything x


Sorry to hear about your diagnosis.    Reading your message about taking one day at a time and you are so right.  Sometimes it will be taking one hour at a time.   Getting a cancer diagnosis was like stepping onto a roller-coaster of emotions for me and crying is good it means you are dealing with it and not bottling it all up.   And you know what, you are on this forum talking about it which is brilliant!   Keep up being brilliant xx

Hi Kaylou2,

A big hug to you. Getting the diagnosis is a big shock to the system. I understand and can totally relate to how you are feeling. The days after the diagnosis it’s all systems go, from one scan to another, waiting on test results, biopsies, dates for MRI scans etc having to tell family and friends… I found this period the hardest, I was diagnosed end of July 22 and surgery was Oct 22, it felt like the longest time ever. I continued working and carrying on trying to maintain a sense of normality when on some days I felt like I was in pieces falling apart. It’s all very scary and alien. But let me try to reassure you, I am 9 months on from diagnosis and 6 months on from surgery and I am ok. It does get easier to manage. My motto is that I am not going to let 3 months of my life that I was going through this determine how I live the rest of my life. Yes I HAD BC, I did everything in my control to get through this, surgery, radiotherapy, adjuvant therapy, I am leading a healthy lifestyle with exercise and diet, that’s all I can do. The fear of recurrence is there but I can’t control that so I try not to think to much about it.

I found the forum very helpful and uplifting especially the nights I was pacing the floor from fear and worry about the future and decisions about which surgery to have. I also found the someone like me program very helpful as they put me in touch with a couple of ladies who went through similar to me.

since my treatment has finished I have been doing several courses online on how to move forward. Again all very useful.

Hang in there Kaylou2, one day at a timex

if you need to ask me anything else please message.