I was diagnosed on 26 June with grade 2 Er positive HEP2 negative and was scheduled for lumpectomy and radiotherapy if nodes were ok.
The next day they called about calcifications in both breasts which the consultant thought was not of concern. Turns out it’s DCIS - hi grade in left and intermediate on right where main tumour is. So booked for double mastectomy next Thursday. I am having constant panic attacks and crying that I can’t get through this, convinced it’s spread and I’ve got secondaries. I’ve just spoken to the team here with a lovely women who was great and just picked up some diazepam from GP. Anyone advice from anyone in same situation or gone through it without having a breakdown.
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Welcome to the forum @lynnc123
I am so sorry to hear what you’re going through at the moment. Panic attacks and feeling emotional are experiences that many here can relate to. There’s no right or wrong way to feel after a diagnosis of breast cancer.
You mention you have spoken to the team, was that our breast care nurses on the helpline? Please know that they are here to chat you through anything from anxiety to clinical questions. They are very knowledgeable and kind. You can reach them on 0808 800 6000.
I hope you find the support you are looking for here in the forum, it is full of wonderful people.
We also have some resources on Coping with breast cancer emotionally that you may find useful.
We’re thinking of you,
Lucy
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Yes, it was on the helpline. xx
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Hi,
Different breast cancer for me, but definitely recognise the blind panic and fear.
I can only tell you that once treatment started the psychological side was easier. It’s almost like once you have the physical stuff to deal with it suspends some of the psychology.
I found being able to sleep helped me massively. I got mirtazapine from my GP which really helped with sleeping, it meant that no matter how bad the day was I knew I was more or less guaranteed to sleep at night.
I was a blubbering mess throughout really, definitely not a “warrior” or on my “journey” or a “survivor”, just a petrified blubbering mess !!! And that’s Ok 
Just stared radiotherapy this week and had to go in today wearing sunglasses because my eyes are so swollen from crying all night. Mainly because I didn’t want to go back for the 2nd session.
The psychological side of BC is incredibly difficult and you have to get help from wherever you can, GP, medication, therapy, friends and family whatever it takes. Personally I think social media has created a culture where women feel they need to be brave about it, and run a quick marathon during treatment !!! So not how I feel. It’s ok to feel fed up, angry,resentful and a myriad of other emotions.
Time does help I’ve definitely calmed down and stopped panicking a bit. Tbh by the time you get near the end of treatment your so desperate to be left alone and do something other than BC you almost forget about recurrence etc.
Hang in there it will get easier but it takes time, and I know I still have a way to go xx
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Thank you for your reply. The GP has just given me some diazepam for day to day until my op next Thursday and some mirtazapine for night so hoping that will help.
I am a wailing, screaming, crying mess and absolutely don’t feel strong, brave, a fighter or anything else people like to say. It’s the fear of the unknown.
Good luck with your treatment xx
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Hi @lynnc123
Welcome to the forum that nobody wants to join. We are a supportive and kind group of people.
I’m so sorry to hear your diagnosis. I was bilateral (both) boobs but has a wide local incision for invasive breast cancer, followed by chemotherapy and Herceptin, which still continues, radiotherapy, Letrzole and Zometa infusions.
I totally get where you’re at, I’m over a year since I found a lump in one boob and during test to size the tumour they found another primary cancer in the other. I had months thinks I may have to have a double mastectomy as I was having genetics test, the tests were negative so no more surgery. You will find out that everyone’s story is individual and so is their treatment.
I’m glad you reached out the to BCN nurses I will add some more links that may be helpful in future
- Website: You can register for our services. Or find our publications, more information and support or how to volunteer. It’s all here.
- Helpline: 0808 800 6000 (Mon-Fri 9am-4pm; Sat 9am-1pm). Speak to our trained helpline team. No questions are too big or too small.
- Ask Our Nurses: You can message our nurses here on the forum, or confidentially. Whatever you prefer.
- Someone Like Me: Will match you with a trained volunteer who’s had a similar experience to you. They’ll be a phone call or email away to answer your questions, offer support, or simply listen. Call on 0800 138 6551 or contact our email volunteers
- Younger Women Together: For people 45 and under. You can choose the support that suits you: online, one day or 2 day residential events. Find an event.
- Moving Forward: Finishing treatment can be hard, and it can be difficult to move forward with your life. You can access our support online or face-to-face. Our online information hub and Moving Forward journal provide extra ideas and information. Courses run over 2 weeks, with 2 3.5hr sessions. Or trained facilitators and volunteers are there to help. Find a course near you.
- Publications: Download and order publications. You can read online or order your copy for free. From managing menopausal symptoms, hormone treatment or triple negative breast cancer, our information is here for you.
- BECCA: Our free app is your pocket companion to primary breast cancer.
- Speaker Live: sessions are on every month. They focus on the topics that matter to you, lead by expert speakers from across the UK. You can register for one of our webinars, and watch it live, or as a recording. We also have Facebook and Instagram Live sessions run by our clinical team on a huge range of topics. You can find them all on YouTube
- Secondary breast cancer is full of uncertainties. But you can count onLiving with Secondary Breast Cancer to be there for you, no matter what. You’ll be able to talk, listen and learn with people who understand the challenges that secondary breast cancer brings. Our groups are open to people with a secondary diagnosis. Monthly sessions, facilitated by a therapist, are held in a variety of locations across the UK and online. Find a group. And if you are 45 or under? Our Younger Women with Secondaries Together events provide information and support
- LiveChat: Open to people with a secondary diagnosis. A private chat room where you can talk to others in a similar situation.
- Access Fund – all our events are free, but if you need help getting there or accessing our services, let us know. Email us at accessfund@breastcancernow.org or call 0345 077 1893.
At some point you may want to consider counselling, Maggie’s and MacMillan both provide it and will support your friends and family as well.
We will be there for you 
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Hi @lynnc123
Everyone reacts differently but this idea that you have to be brave and positive all the time frankly does my head in. I remember one of my friends telling me to think positive and I practically bit her head off . I was ok in the mornings but the evenings were a different matter and up and down in between Luckily for me I take my blood pressure tablet at night because it makes me sleepy so I did sleep. It’s hard enough being told you have cancer and needing treatment but then having your plan changed and not much time to get your head around it - well that’s huge . Personally I think it’s good to express your emotions as bottling them up right now won’t do you any good .
The only comfort I can offer is that the places we go to in our imaginations are usually worse than the ones we go to in real life . Also @Vibby is right in that once you start the treatment psychologically it does get easier because you’re concentrating more on your physical wellbeing and also you are moving forwards .
Sending lots of love xx
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@lynnc123 welcome to the mad house and I mean that in the nicest possible way. It’s the place we hoped and prayed we’d never visit but it is in fact the kindest, most understanding and supportive house you could join. Every single person is here for each other. There’s nothing you can say that hasn’t been said before and it is the one place where you can be totally free and open. Of course you are scared witless, nobody ever seriously thinks they’ll be in this “club”, you might hope you won’t but it’s not until you find that little lump or you get the recall letter after a mammogram that it hits you. Then you go into blind panic, the day I got my recall letter I even planned my funeral, not needed. Most of us are immediately drawn to Dr Google and scare ourselves even more.
You’ve already done two of the most sensible things - meds from the GP to help you through and joined here for support. I can honestly promise you it will calm down the unknown is the worst bit. Once your treatment plan is decided it will get much easier. There are going to be a lot of appointments ahead in fact this is the first week since the end of January when I had my surgery that I had no appointments in my diary then my rheumatologist phoned me because he needs me to have a blood test today, but in all honesty that’s fine because I’ll go and do some retail therapy afterwards instead of coming home and trying to catch up on housework
You will get through this, it will get easier, come on here and cry, rant, scream, ask questions, get some hugs, laugh, share - that’s what we all do.
Sending you one of those big hugs and let us know how you get on x
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Lynnc123 sorry you find yourself here and we’ve all been on the 
to outer space when you get diagnosed but as others have said, step by step as treatment plan is put in place you take it day by day, you be you because you are still fabulous amazing you even if you don’t feel like you are 
take it a treatment at a time, your treatments will be tailored specifically for you getting ready for your op, get short sleeve front fastening pyjamas, a robe and sliders so you are comfortable and not flashing your bum in hospital take hand cream, lip balm and wipes also bit of anosol the meds from op can block you up zip front card is or hoody’s good post op and jiggers 
if you get drains post op, they usually give you a couple of little carry bags that you put over your shoulder to carry these in and you may have these for few days after op when doing post op exercises I used to put sticky coloured dots up the door frame so I could see progress each day to regain full movement fo keep asking away on here we’ve got you as much or as little as you need us that’s what breast cancer now is here for however you need as much or as little as you need and do be kind to yourself 
Shi xx
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