I am having the worst time ever at the moment. Someone is throwing everything at me to see if I crumble.
A few weeks ago I was told I had DCIS non invasive, have surgery, rads and yearly mammos. At results day I was told another area was invasive cancer so upped the anti and I had another op (last week) only 5 days after results to remove more and SNB. I don’t get my results from that till the 2nd November. I don’t know what my treatment will be till then. This is a scary time waiting for results, on top of that I am having severe withdrawals symptoms from stopping HRT immediately that I had been on for nearly 10 years.
You wouldn’t think things could get worse but on Wednesday my fit as a fiddle dad died suddenly from an aortic aneurism. I still can’t drive because my underarm hurts from the lymph nodes removal so my sons girlfriend took me to the hospital to see my dad. They were going to operate but he only got as far as the anaesthetic room and he was too poorly for op and died peacefully an hour later. What was so sad was he was in the very same bay in recovery that I was in last week. All the nurses realised and they were in tears. I’m in pieces, leaving him there was awful. I did my phone calls to my husband and 4 sons on the way home.
I live about 25 minutes away from the hospital so was home quick. We pulled round into the road and our house has a hedge to the front. I could see the lights all on so for a second I thought my eldest son had come to see that I was ok, then saw the front door smashed in. We had been burgled. Two doors smashed to bits, downstairs just rifled through and no other damage but upstairs totally trashed. Luckily we do keep most valuables, keys etc in a safe and they didn’t find that but because of my op last week my fingers are puffy so for the first time ever all my jewellery that I took off for surgery was still on my bedside table. They took all £9k of it. Lots of other things taken including a gold locket my dad gave me.
I don’t know what to deal with first, my head is in a proper scramble. We are still finding glass everywhere, the doors are boarded up as a constant reminder. We have really strong doors coming but because it’s not like for like we have to wait for order. Security system going in next Wednesday. We have lived here 17 years and it’s a really safe area and now I’m petrified being here. I want to move, I want to disinfect everywhere, we need to work out exactly what has been taken for the police and insurance and I need to get better from the surgery that I’m still in pain from.
Can it get any worse…I don’t want to crumble for my sons or my husband as they are so concerned for me anyhow but it’s so hard.
Mamadeacs
Oh mate what a dreadful dreadful week for you.
I am so sorry to hear of your dad passing, that is hard enough to deal with without everything happening to you. I wish these scumbags appreciated the emotional damage they cause when they do this, I wonder if they would be so careless if it was their property. I really do not know what to say that would make you feel better in sone small way but I just wanted you to know that I am thinking about you and your family.
Sending you lots of gentle hugs.
Helena xxxx
Thanks Helena…I needed to get it off my chest to someone other than my family and friends who I know are frantically worried about me right now. I feel so bad that they are upset because of me. My poor dad was so upset and the 2nd results, it is hard for him that daddy’s girl has cancer and he can’t make it better. Hex would have been the one I called about the robbery, he would have come round and checked everywhere and reassured me it’s ok to go back in. 
x
I am very lucky with my family and didn’t appreciate before the bc just how many great friends I have. It really does make you appreciate people. I’m so sorry you had to go through a similar experience, I can’t imagine a marriage breakup during this as you lose your support system.
Nikki xxx
There are so many similarities in our situations. My friends are telling me how proud they are of me and how strong I am being. My birthday was the end of July, followed by a gynae op, followed by all of this and I haven’t been without flowers or visits every day. They have been amazing and they are the reason I can be strong. My husband of 32 years is also called Colin and is fantastic, and my best friend of 36 years has been with me throughout this and lump scare I had 7 years ago. I got a promotion at work in November last year but my old manager and my new one have been there the whole time reassuring they will look after me as and when I can get back to work and I feel I need to for sanity and distraction as soon as I can. There are so many blessings that come from adversity.
Big hugs to you too xxx
That’s so weird…and makes it feel more familiar with you already!
In Gloucestershire it is really windy, I can hear the watering can blowing round the garden! Look after your Colin, I lucked out on my Colin too…he is just ace.
Have a lovely day, we are going to get our heads down in the insurance paperwork. The emergency boarding up bill just arrived £204 for 10 minutes work and probably £10 worth of materials! You get robbed twice!
You have cheered me up thank you xx
Chat soon
Nikki xx
Nikki
Just sending you a little hello and thinking about you xxx
Ah bless you thanks, thanks Helena. I’m not in a good place today…I think I have been strong the last few days then have some mulled wine over lunch with friends today and the emotion comes to a head. Not even about the cancer, that’s taken a back seat but more my dad passing away and the fact tomorrow I will be home alone after the burglary. I’m so wound up I will burst. My poor eyes look like little slits. x
Thank you xx
I am going with my brother to the hospital in the morning to get the paperwork for my dad…I presume from the coroner then register his death. Then in the afternoon the funeral director coming to discuss the arrangements. My sons girlfriend coming to stay with me with their dog this week, he will bark his little head off hopefully if he hears anything unusual. My husband and 3 of our sons work together (construction) but work away Monday to Friday so that doesn’t help the stress. One thing at a time!
Shame it’s Monday for you…I am looking forward to saying that again.
Nikki xx
Nikki
Hope all went as well as it could do this morning for you xxx
Good grief talk about being put through the mill.
I hope some good luck comes your way soon luv. I also hope you catch the thieving buggers as well.
So sorry for your loss. X
Nikki
Was just hinking about you and how you are getting on, sending you a hug xxx
Morning…sorry I’ve been absent for a few days. This last week has been awful but I’m trying to carry on as normal as possible. It is my sons 27th birthday today so we all went out for lunch (minus my dad sadly) and we had a nice time. I had a meltdown before we went as my stepdad brought my mum round with a card and mums Alzheimers/Lewy body dementia has got so much worse in the last two weeks she can no longer move her mouth and talk. She recognised me but got irritable to go literally about 20 seconds after I went to her in the car and that left me in tears, I know it’s not her but it is so hard to see. It’s like losing two parents in a week. The security guys are just finishing off the house alarm so hopefully i will feel safer, set it right and don’t have them or the police turning up!!
Thursday is results day for me (I forgot about the cancer in the midst of everything else), please god let them be good and I can get on with just rads etc I don’t think I’m up to anymore surgery right now, I have a funeral to organise and a house to empty and my brother is now away for 10 days!
I hope you all had a lovely weekend and have a good week. I’m crossing my fingers and toes for everyone else that has results this week…the wait is a bummer, I know my surgeon won’t believe what I have fitted in between surgery and now.
Nikki xxx
Thank you so much, I feel like I am bottling so much up and every now and then a bit seeps out. So many friends and family are worrying about me and I feel bad about that. Coming to the forum gives me a bit of a release. It is crap but I have to smile today as it’s my lovely sons birthday. One foot in front of the other and one day at a time. Xxx