Posted on behalf of new user Chrissie
Hi all,
My mum had breast cancer in 2005. She was diagnosed with lung mets 2 weeks ago and is currently waiting for scan results as to whether there are any other mets.
Since her diagnosis she has deteriorated rapidly.
Initially she just felt tired, had no appetite & was slightly breathless (which is why she went to dr). As soon as she had the diagnosis she began to get memory loss and problems which have gone from bad to worse. She now can not dress or wash herself, she has trouble remembering things (getting her 3 daughters confused) is unable to read or use the computer. She is not really communicating - just a few words but it difficult to have a conversation with her.
In the 2 weeks waiting her breathlessness increased and she can no longer walk to the toilet unaided - she has an oxygen machine.
She has also just begun to get bad sickness, pain and dizziness in the last 4 days or so.
We still have over a week till we get scan results and I’m going out of my mind with worry. I cant determine if she is suffering from emotional shock or nervous breakdown caused by the diagnosis (it seems a coincidence that these symptoms appeared at the time of diagnosis) or if she has a very aggressive cancer that has spread to her brain, bones etc and i consequently causing all these symptoms.
Has anyone else been through similar?
I don’t know what to do. I live 45 miles away and have a 6 month old baby so it’s difficult to get there (especially as I dont drive & local transport is pretty bad - it’s a 4 hour journey each way) I feel I should be doing more.
My sisters live much closer - only 5 mins drive - so they are able to assist and I am on the phone everyday but as I don’t see her as much I worry that much more.
Please help x
Hello Chrissie
Welcome to the forums. I’m sorry to hear of your mum’s diagnosis, this must be a very difficult time for all your family.
As well as the support you will receive on the forums you might find it helpful to talk things through with one of the helpline staff, they are there to offer emotional support as well as provide information. The free phone number is 0808 800 6000 and lines are open 9-5 Monday to Friday and 10-2 Saturday.
Best wishes
June, moderator
Hello Chrissie,
What a horrible shock for you all to learn your Mum has secondary cancer. I’m sorry I can’t answer your question about what is causing her advancing symptoms, and would be reluctant to speculate. I would encourage to phone the help line once it’s open again tomorrow, they have lots of very experienced people who will be able to help and advise you.
Try not to ‘guilt trip’ yourself because you can’t be more practically involved at this stage, the best support you can give your Mum is to be at the end of the phone and caring for your little one. Maybe you can get over to see her at a weekend - could one of your sisters collect you perhaps?
Just sending a ‘cyber hug’ and hoping that once the scan results are back things settle down and your Mum’s health stabalises again.
Many thanks for your replies.
I have an answer to my mum’s symptoms as my dad called the gp to get medication for her sickness/dizziness so she had the hospital fax her scan results straight away. They have found ‘active cancer cells in her brain and liver’ i pressume this is mets?
She has medication to take down the swelling in her brain and hopefully relieve some of her symptoms but her gp has said at the moment she would be too poorly for chemo.
She is seeing the consultant next week (she has been waiting 4 weeks!) and I hope that she will be slightly fitter by then so they can offer her some treatment & buy us all some time. It has come on so quickly & I am not ready to lose her this quickly - I have too many things I want to do with her, say to her & I’m afraid she is going downhill fast and there wont be time.
There is still a little hope left that her health could improve but my sister has said to prepare myself that they may say there is nothing more that can be done (as I am going with her for the results) & I’m not sure I can do that.
I dont want my son to grow up not knowing his nanny & how wonderful she is - how do I cope with this? xx
Hi, I read your post and it could almost have been written by me. My mum is currently in hospital, 3rd time in 3 weeks with confusion, along with several of the symptoms you describe of your mum. My mum was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2006 and her secondary diagnosis in April. She went down hill with confusion soon after her first chemo and after several weeks in hospital they diagnosed her with hydrochepalus, they also found skull mets and tiny cancer particals in the fluid that surrounds her brain but not in the brain itself. She had a shunt fitted and recovered really well. This was back in July. I felt exactly as you do, she cant go yet this has happened too quickly etc She has since had whole head radiotherapy and again recovered well. 3 weeks ago her confusion returned, along with a few other things but with all her time in and out of hospital, they have yet to explain what’s happening. I dont think they really know.
I too am not local and have 2 small boys. It’s heart breaking that she doesn’t acknowledge them and horrible thinking we could lose her too soon. She had a very close bond to my eldest (5) being her first grandchild and he is very aware of things. I don’t really know what to say to you,if like me, it consumes my every min of free time thinking about what’s happening and looking for answers and hate not knowing what’s happening to my mum. My mum had routine scans last week and we’re awaiting the results, due on Thursday am. They were originally to see how the cancer was going and if stable she would wait for chemo but if it had grown she would have to start some chemo. Like you, I don’t know if she’ll be deemed well enough. This is such ahorrible disease and I never in a million years thought we’d be dealing with this year. I don’t know how you cope, you just get by each day and hope for something positive. I hope you get the results and treatment for your mum and don’t waste a single day xx
Thanks for your reply, it’s actually helpful to know that others are going through the same - sorry if tht sounds selfish but sometimes I feel like we are the only ones going through this.
I’m so sorry about your mum I hope you get good results on thurs - we are also getting results on thurs weird - hopefully we will both get some good news & I hope your mum’s cancer has stabilised (crossing everything for her).
Dad says mum is very bad today - she has been prescribed something to reduce the swelling in her brain & should see some results in about 48 hrs. She has not been sick today which is an improvement but she has been asleep all day instead.
She fell last night, trying to walk to the toilet and we have had to get her some incontinence pads - it’s just awful. It feels like senility rather than cancer and it wasn’t long ago we dealt with that with my grandma.
I’m on my way to see her this afternoon and hope to see some improvement.
I like you never thought we’d be deling with this again - she has been so well & we had a great summer. But you are right about being positive, if I get a bit negative I wont be able to get htrough it.
If ever you need to talk someone please feel free to pm me, it’s helpful having someone going through the same thing outside of our families.
Take care xx
Hi, have sent you a message x