Cancer you nasty terrible horrible disease.

Im having a day that i feel angry bitter awful scared, there is not one min of the day that i can forget about this isolating horror of a illness im living with and ive only known a week and two days that i have breast cancer. My heart goes out to all the woman that have been living with this evil cruel disease for years and my deepest sympathy for all that have lost the fight against cancer. Im coming to the point of all this venting and it is to say never give up never let the unfairness and the sadness take you over hold your head up enjoy life love your family. Yeah we have this disease it can make us sick but it cant take away who we are who we love and who loves us at the end of the day lets not make it easy for it to take us away sorry going on a bit

billie x

Awww…hear hear hun !! Couldnt agree more xx

Oh Billie, l am so very sorry, it is still very early days for you, so your anger is understandable. I know what you mean with regards to ‘it’ never leaves you. My life seems as though it has come crashing down. The shear horror of the situation, is the worst nightmare ever.
I am two months from diagnoses, have to have another operation before l can start chemo…it all seems such a long wait, from one hospital visit to another.
My Love and Thoughts for a speedy recovery are with you
Sandra x

Hi Ladies,
Just wanted to say all the best to you ladies who are newly DX or about to start treatment , i know how difficult it is for you right now and it is only natural that your emotions are all over the place.
I was DX almost 3 yrs ago had WLE/SNB chemo/ rads /and now on Tamoxifen .
Its such a huge shock being DX with BC and i know i felt as though my life came crashing down and was on auto pilot with one hospital visit/treatment after another , BC was constantly on my mind , i just wanted to say to you that it does get better i promise , when you start treatment you will feel as though you have some control back and the treatments although tough sometimes (but Doable) is getting rid of the bu–ers . Keep positive ladies you will get through this .
Billie, you are so right in what you say , hold your head up high and never give up , i also may have cancer but it doesnt have me.
Lots of Hugs to you all
Linda x

Love to all. If nothing else at least this thing has shown me what incredible people there are out there, getting through this. 3 months from dx and much venting still to come no doubt, but just to say, amid the trauma, there have been good days already too. xxx

Oh Billie, what a cracking thread you have started.
I guess we all hate this disease, what its done to us and what its taken from us, but I, too, love what you say - hold your head up high and never give up.
It won’t rob me of the joy of living,despite every bit of treatment and I hope its unable to do that to any of us.
like some of the others posting, I’m a few months down the line and have just finished chemo and rads - and its my second diagnosis with bc, the first was 13 years ago. the biggest and best lesson it has taught me is that ‘life is sweet’.
it doesn’t stay at the forefront of your mind forever, and as linda says, once you get started on treatment, you have a game plan to get rid of the b*****d.
I hope things go well with you all
love, monica xx


You know I was convinced I was going to die in the first week and after the initial terror, hurt and anger somehow and I don’t know how you just seem to ride the horrid storm.

I didn’t think I would make it after the first week let alone get through 6mths of chemo and now on tues have my mastectomy with radiotherapy and further herceptin every three weeks!!

I don’t know if I am numb to it all now or still just carried on the tidal wave but I do laugh more, have some limited fun (due to side effects of chemo) and I managed to control my feeling of boredom!!

I hope your wave is not too daunting

Hi Billie

What Linda says is very true, in the beginning it is understandable how scared and angry you are feeling. It DOES get MUCH better. Once treatment starts you may feel more positive about things. I am now 3 years down the line and although I acknowledge that BC is a cruel ,s**t disease, I am back to living my life as I want to and Cancer and the fear of it returning has been pushed as far back in my mind as it can! It has robbed me of my breast, my hair, nails, energy, and many good friends to name but a few issues that I have with it, but it will not continue to take over my life and my thoughts anymore!

Good Luck to you and anyone else just starting out on your ‘cancer journey’ We are all here for you!


hello all feeling a lot better today thank you everybody for all the good advice has help a hell of alot starting chemo tomorrow wish me luck .

im back i hope you all are feeling well and happy (( sending hugs your way ))) x x x billie

Hi Billie
Just sending lots of love and hugs for your first chemo!
I am still waiting to start mine, so you could say l am jealous of you!!!
Soon be able to say “one down…”
Be thinking of you tomorrow, your photo shows a lovely smile, so keep smiling tomorrow, help see you through your first day.
Sandra xxx

Good luck, Billie
hope its OK for you tomorrow. Once the first is done and you know what to expect, it does get easier. I think most of us would say that chemo unit staff are some of the nicest, most caring people you could meet, and true experts in their field. I hope you have that experience
monica xx

Hi just read your post cant agree with you more ,I start my first chemo tommorow am scared stiff but think all the waiting is worse than the treatment ,hope you manage to stay strong it helped me to get through the shock of being diagnosed and having good family and friends is the best tonic ever take care Jane x

another one starting chemo tomorrow… diagnosed 1st of Feb, surgery 20th of Feb… 4 FEC and 4 TAX tomorrow. Scared.

First FEC an board yesterday, and you are right, the oncology sister was wonderful, despite all the problems and delays she made me feel like I mattered and cared not just to get her job done but how I felt.
Waiting to have central line fitted now. Waiting for this to start is definitely the worst bit, now I can count down to the end. Warm Hugs to all, Tina

hello ladys had my chemo yes was very scared and the waiting wow is worse the treatment was not as bad i though it would be but still no body wants to be going through this . there are going to be days when you feel sad other days you feel mad that this is happening to you but stay strong because its all you ladys that are geting me through this keep all the storys of hope coming sending lots of love your way x x x billie

Hi there Billie
I totally ubderstand where you are coming from.
I was diagnosed last September aged 38 with two children 4 and 18mths. I was devastated to say the least.
I often had days like you had, feeling all bitter and angry inside. I felt the blasted disease had taken so much from me, my breast, hair, nails, eyebrows, lashes and energy…!
Now chemo has finished, i feel a little better about things…i hate the way i look, but things can only get better now.

Take a day at a time.
All the very best with your treatment.

Naz x

hi, ive just read your message about you feeling angry etc etc i feel this everyday and ask myself why me? i was diagnosed 5 weeks ago and just can not accept any of it. how do you feel now? when were you diagnosed?

Hi Bluesmurf, I had my dx in Feb, I think the process of dealing with it is like grieving and takes time, remember whatever you feel is ok and like Naz says, take a day at a time. I think the forum is a great help and if you feel really down you may want to ring the helpline for further support.

Hi Ladies

It’s bloody horrible isn’t it, I am feeling exactly the same. I too feel like i’am going through a greiving process. and hate what this disease as done to my body and my self esteem

One day at a time that’s all we can do