can't cope with the waiting

I went a year ago with a slight dumpling just above my right niple although you could only see this when you pressed on the breast…Anyway went to doctor said all was OK and just keep an eye on things…Anyway lol has just stayed same although couple of mths ago I felt an uncomfortable Ness in my boob so went back to doc couple of weeks ago and got referral. I was staring to notice a kind of dent but only certain ways I moved. …got to clinic got mammogram them ultrasound followed by core biopsy. …they took sample of lymph node due to SLIGHT swelling…I am now absolutely I’ll. …the consultant said if it is bc it doesn’t mean it’s been there all this time…I am now on tablets for anxiety as I can’t eat sleep or function I am 45 and terrified is not the word. …I have been online and terrified if it is the chances are it’s probably in my bones and gid knows where else. …please advise

I know he wait is unbarable and all people seem to say is ‘try not to worry’ it’s easier said then done but just try to unwind and hav a nice relaxing bath maybe a glass of wine (careful of the tablets your on though) just keep yourself busy, I’ve blitzed my home several times during my wait I’m just making good use of the keeping yourself busy technique :slight_smile:

Tracey we all think it’s spread everywhere in the beginning, it’s a natural reaction to being told we may have cancer but in reality it’s nothing like that and the breasts do a damn good job of holding on to it for many years which is why such a high % of women live to tell the tale, the awful anxiety is the norm I’m afraid,its crippling and I felt I would choke to death on it some days but it will ease in time when you get a clearer picture of what’s going on, don’t let your mind race ahead too much and no further than getting your results, you will be surprised how much actually knowing what’s happening will help you Xx Jo 

Jo thank you so much for taking the time to reply your words actually made me smile… just that wee glamour of hope .just wish I could go to sleep …wake up and know what I was dealing with . Tracey x

Again thank you Chris for you reply knowing there are other people who have been there helps and so true about the easier said than done . The tablets are certainly helping stops me crying all day . Tracey x

Thank you again and will definitely try the bath xx

I blitzed my home too think it helps while I wait on my appointment for the breast clinic. I am not too worried at the moment now reading some of you’re stories. Hope is a great thing. This is my first referal to the clinic I am 53.

I’m a total worrier doesn’t matter what it is lol keeping busy is defiantly a good thing xx

I can relate to how u r feeling, i have been ill for almost a year now with one thing and another that doctors havent been able to explain and then 3 weeks ago i found a lump… had ultrasound monday where they identified the lump i could feel as a “solid mass” and they also found 2 smaller masses that i hadnt felt… so they did a biopsy… the look on the faces of the drs doing the unltrasound was not comforting at all… and all the consultant could say was he was really sorry but they wont know anything until biopsy results… it took a day for it all to sink in and i spent all day tuesday in bed crying! I have to wait until next thursday for the results but the waiting is killing me!!  The only advice I can give, and its what im trying to tell myself at the moment, is find something to focus on and keep busy… luckily im at university so after my crying session tuesday i have thrown myself into work over the past couple of days… and iv booked a hair appointment to hopefully make me feel a bit better, and iv Just joined this website in the hope of keeping my sanity by talking to others in a similar situation. x

It’s a horrible situation and so hard to explain how your feeling I can’t seem to focus on anything at the moment …dark cupboard locked door and me locked in it …I know it’s not the answer but…you stay strong and positive xx

Thanx alesia. .your a very strong woman you have a lot on your plate and you still take the time to put a smile on a strangers face x thank you x

There are no strangers… just friends we haven’t met yet ? x Hang in there hunny, u can get through this. When do u find out the results? X

Got them alesia I’ve got a 2cm tumour and it’s in one lymph node …bone scan ct can all clear …they have put a clip on the tumour and said chemo will take it away and the clip is there sure they know where it was and then they will do a lumpectomy and remove 2cm of tissue then radium …still can’t take it in or stop crying …although scans all good news I’m still so scared x

That’s great news about the scans hunny. And the positive is you know what your dealing with and what the plan of action is. Its ok to cry… I spent the whole of Monday night and Tuesday day crying!! And suspect il do the same when I get the results regardless of the outcome. It is so emotionally draining so allow yourself time to cry, but then wipe ur tears away, take a deep breath, stand strong and keep fighting. xx

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply …I am normally quite a strong minded person but for some reason this has just sent me into a completely dark and horrible place …I think I’ve got my head round it then …I just go to pot and can’t think straight…I got my results last week and everyday is like groundhog day where I wake up and remember and the anxiety hits in…jobey the fact that you say it duable and not what I imagine gives me hope and alesia your reaction of that’s great news made me think…Yeh THAT IS great …think I’m just super scared xx

Thank you so much Jo to know that I will get put of this dark place gives me more hope than you can imagine to know you were there and got out of it …thank you xx

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply …I am normally quite a strong minded person but for some reason this has just sent me into a completely dark and horrible place …I think I’ve got my head round it then …I just go to pot and can’t think straight…I got my results last week and everyday is like groundhog day where I wake up and remember and the anxiety hits in…jobey the fact that you say it duable and not what I imagine gives me hope and alesia your reaction of that’s great news made me think…Yeh THAT IS great …think I’m just super scared xx