Can't relax and Scared

Good morning all. I found out in January that I have secondary breast cancer and up to my last check all seemed okish. My last bloods showed an increase in tumour markers and now I feel as if the cancer is spreading rapidly. I’m really scared and cannot stop thinking negatively. My next bloods are in Dec. My last scan was good. Can cancer spread so quickly and how on earth do I stop worrying?

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Hi. I was diagnosed in June so new to all of this as well. As i understand it, tumour markers aren’t the most accurate way to monitor it which is why we have scans. It’s so hard to not have negative thoughts, I totally understand how you feel. Sending you a big hug.

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I’ve been diagnosed since Dec 2020. The mind battle is definitely one of the hardest parts. That’s part of what makes the Forum so useful is that we have some idea of how each other is feeling and can try and support.
What I’ve learnt in my 4 years of living with it is you can’t keep stressing over what the cancer may or might not be doing. I got myself so stressed at one point as I was sure it was growing and then when I finally got scan results I found the pain was it shrinking. I felt so stupid. I’ve found counselling essential (went through MacMillan). I’ve also found mindfulness really helpful for switching the brain off, which I think needs to be done sometimes.
I hope you find something that works for you. You know where we are if you need us.

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Thanks for your reply. I’m sorry you’re going through this too. I’m trying to be positive but some days it’s so difficult. Sending a hug. X

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Hi, I was diagnosed in may this year with secondary breast cancer in my bones. Original cancer was 2017. It was a huge shock, but I actually managed to cope quite well and felt quite positive for a few months, till September and then I crashed. First time I had cried. I now have ups and downs all the time, good days and not so good. I’ve had my first scan since starting treatment and I’m currently awaiting results. I’ve convinced myself it’s not going to be good news…
This is a scary journey we are on!!
I’m trying to do fun things and enjoy times with friends… but I think the scared feelings and emotions we have are normal. I wish u well. Keep in touch. Xx

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Hi @shirleya

I’m so sorry you find yourself here, my heart goes out to you. I find this whole thing is a battle of the mind, some days are easier than others, the not knowing what’s going on inside is super hard so what the doctors do they control, what you do is in your control and that’s the bit I focus on. Some great advice on here which I am sure you will already be on with if not already doing. My strategy is to try and do all the good things that matter to me in a day, Eat well, get fresh air, meditate, excercise, achieve something, read and learn and the top one laugh out loud, even if it’s fake it does help. Look up a guy called Ari Whitten, he has a meditation called secret smile, honestly it turns my whole mood around and makes me feel invincible from the inside out. You know that smug feeling you get when you’re on top of the world. It feels like that. Try it it is really awesome.
Keeping chatting with everyone, keep a strong positive vibe and do all the things that make your soul shine.
Sending you much love :two_hearts:

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Thanks for the mail. I will certainly look at the meditation. I truly am sorry you know how this feels. I really would love things to be different but I suppose there is no choice other than to make the most of things at the times we can. I’m off to see the musical Hairspray tonight so that should put a smile on my face. Hang on in there. X

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Thanks for your kind and wise words. They mean a lot. I think you’re right about the range of emotions we have to deal with. It just feels so lonely sometimes. I wish you well too and would love to stay in touch. X

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Hi Shirley

Just wanted to say enjoy Hairspray tonight…I’m off to see the Drifters with 3 friends so really looking forward to that and a wee cheeky boogie. Have a lovely night. :heart:

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Hi

Can I ask what treatment you are on? After 4 years how are you feeling physically? Thank you for your positive outlook and sharing it. Xx

Thanks Sandra. I started on EC chemo as I was de novo and it was spreading quickly and then from Dec 2020 I’ve been on palbociclib, hormone stuff and zoladronic acid. I’ve had no growth since then so am very lucky. It is tough. My body copes pretty well with it apart from low immune and fatigue. It really is the mental side that I struggle most with. I do a lot to try and stay as good as I can be. I’m a big believer in exercise for mind and body.

Let me know if you enjoy the Drifters. My sister said it was great. Enjoy x

I was gladdened by the suggestion to listen to Ari Whitten’s meditation called secret smile,

I need a good laugh.

Seagulls

Hi Shirley

Drifters concert was great, really gave me a lift. Doing things like that are really important for our mental health when we are going through all this. Hope you enjoyed hairspray. Xx

Glad you enjoyed the Drifters. Hairspray cheered me up but awake and worrying again now. My sister is coming to see me today so I may go out and blow a small fortune on treating myself. Take care x