Apologies for the moan, just feeling sorry for myself today.
I hate not having any hair, absolutely hate it! I have a nice wig and i hate that too! I hate not having any body hair, and my eyebrows and lashes are going now.
Got tax number 2 tomorrow so didn’t sleep last night, just feel really angry and annoyed with everyone and everything…
Sorry for the rant…Grrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Naz
You rant away as you feel fit - no need to be sorry! 
A lot of the ladies here report hair making a come back before Tax has finished. Personally my head hair is being abit slow on making a reappearance (finished FECT end of Jan) but body hair is back with a vengence LOL
All over bald is just so WRONG!!
You’re nearly there, from tomorrow onwards hair WILL be returning
Good luck
S
Rant away Honey!!
I think you’ll find an army of women on here who all feel exactly the same!
I hate the extra stone & a half I now carry…my baldy face, prickly head & the fact I’ve aged hugely since all this began in July!..not to mention the lopsidedness after my mx.
There are days when I catch sight of myself in the mirror & just break down. I really don’t know how my husband can look at me!!
This disease takes so much from us and it’s just all so unfair! I think we have every right to be down & angry about it!
Hxx
Rant till you can rant no more!! Its all pants, isnt it?? x x x
Thanks everyone…i just feel i could cry and cry today, i can’t look at myself, i feel ugly and not me…i hate it all…
I guess part of it is because chemo is tomorrow, and i actually looked at myself for the first time properly this morning and i did not like what i saw!
xx
I was the same last week Naz. Thursday night I sat in the bath and just cried for ages. I looked at my body in the mirror and at the scar where my breast once lived and my bald head and just couldn’t believe it had all really happened to me. My thoughts are with you.
Take care
Love and hugs
Krissy xx
Thanks Krissy…that was me in the shower this morning…it is so hard to deal with and not alot of support (apart from on here of course) as unless you have been through it, you can’t truly understand what it is like can you…
Oh well, time toget a grip i guess…xx
Oh Naz,
I do understand how you feel, I feel exactly the same. It doesn’t help when people tell you how wonderful your wig is, I know it’s a good wig, BUT IT’S A WIG! People who haven’t been through it don’t understand that you just want to be yourself, your old self, the way you were. Not a painted doll wearing a wig!
I’m sure we will all get through it like so many of the women before us. I just keep ticking off the days and try to calculate how long my hair will be, or even if I’ll have any for my holiday in July.
I’ve just had FEC no 5, but no sign of any growth yet. Any one have any information as to when I can expect the stuff to get going again?
Good luck with the rest of your treatment.
Love Rose X
Rant away - we’re all here.
X
Hi everyone,
It’s good to be able to come on here and have a good old rant isn’t it. I finished my chemo the end of June last year and my hair began coming back about the middle of July. (I also had FEC, Rose. They did say that sometimes it comes back during final treatment, so you may be lucky, here’s hoping!). My hair is now very curly (poker straight before) and I do have a moan about it sometimes as I still don’t look like me but at least it’s hair.
Anyway, I reckon you are all beautiful women, but rant away if you need to!
Esme x
aww, hon - so sorry you are having to go through this, too. It’s a nightmare!! Ive been feeling exactly the same.
Are you able to go to a Look Good, Feel Better make up afternoon?? they are run all over the country, i think. My Chemo nurse told me about it. They show how to ‘draaw’ eye brows, etc, and you get lots of make up to come home with.
eva
Hi Eva
I did go to an image workshop couple of weeks ago and it was good…i came away feeling quite good about things, but that has seemed to have worn off and i feel rubbish again.
i can’t help it, i think i must be grieving for what has been taken from me, no-one i feel really understands, and i get fed up of comments such as ‘it’s only temporary’ ‘hair will grow back’ etc etc…it doesn’t help me now!
Sorry, being negative again, i just want to be me again, and that means with my own lovely hair…!
xx
Hi Naz
I’m totally with you, I hate it all. They tell me they have taken my cancer away, but I feel like I’ve been destroyed in the process. All the stuff that was me has gone. Sometimes I can’t believe this is me walking along the street wearing a wig. And I hate people telling me how good the wig is ! I hate having no lashes or brows, & being featureless, I feel I just look like a ‘patient’, indistinguishable from all the other ‘patients’. I hate having no hair on my ‘ladybits’. At the risk of being indelicate, wee seems to go everywhere now. I have lost all my nails, so no nail polish for me, & no rings (usually wear them on every finger), & no other jewellry, as can’t fasten/unfasten anything. Have neuropathy in fingers & feet (quite a bad case according to onc who I saw yesterday), so can’t wear heels, only ugly flat shoes with big thick soles.
Yep, it’s fair to say I feel minging all the time.
Hi Naz - not that it 'll help but just wanted to say " i think you’re me" only difference being i haven’t had the hairloss bit yet - 1 day chemo yesterday and dreading every single thing you describe - there’s nothing you’ve said i haven’t thought. Find myself acting like a mad woman everytime i pick up a leaflet with talk of temporary ness and how a natty little scarf or a pair of nice earings can help. I want to SCREAM and hit someone, how bloody patronising is that. I’m not having a go at those folks that “go for it” I’m envious - it must be much better than how i feel.
Thanks for the rant - i feel for you, i get it!
Lynnx
Oh my god, how right you are about the wee and the hairless lady bits! I have exactly the same problem and it drives me nuts! It also gets a tad sore down there too ( sorry!). Yes, it is rubbish, all of it, and like you say, they may have removed the cancer, and for that i am eternally grateful, but boy, the other stuff that goes with the treatment, well for a woman, it is so unfair…
I feel the same about the wig, i can’t quite beleive that it is me wearing the damm thing, i hate it with a passion…
Cor, your posts have hit a nerve and I remember feeling exactly the same (and its not too long ago as I only finished chemo in Nov 09). Just think what that chemo is doing to those cancer cells if its made your hair fall out and your nails drop off. Believe me, it grows back quickly and you will soon be looking and feeling more like more you did.
Can totally relate to the wee with no direction and soreness and hairless of the lady bits. It is horrid, but short lived.
Keep going girls, you can do it!
Much love
xxx
hello all.its bad enough having the worry of cancer,but why does it have to make you bald and fat,iv gained half a stone this week im exercising and try ing to eat healthy but feel so bloated i feel like a blob.
I have worn the cold cap but am very thin on top,have no lovely highlights like i used to and my hair is like straw,i wear a nice wig when i go out and everyone says how lovely it is,but i feel like i have a nest on my head and everyone is looking and saying “shes got a wig on”
And why are my eyelashes and eyebrows falling out,but all them granny hairs i would love to fall out are busy growing-plus im looking for a mastectomy swimming costume in case i am lucky to get away and find they are so expensive i cant afford one anyway.
Sometimes you feel life as just so unfair-hope everyone can lift themselves up- jackie xxxx
Hi all
It’s such a help to know it’s not only me who feels like this, & don’t feel I can tell anyone who’s not been through it in a way they can understand. Also I think other people think how ungrateful I must be to be moaning about such ‘trivial’ things. I’m so glad I mentioned the wee, I haven’t mentioned it to anyone else, thought I might be imagining it, great to know I’m not.
NO you are not imagining the wee at all! I thought it was just me! I have not told anyone, (well like they would want to know!) but it is all these little things that just make the whole process harder in my opinion. People often say ‘oh you look so well’ ‘you are so brave’ etc etc, well is there a choice i think to myself…
God listen to me, i am getting right bitter and twisted me thinks…need to put it all into perspective.
Finn, where have you been looking for a mastectomy swim suit by the way? I need one too , but don’t know where to look?
I want to take my two year old son swimming, but feel such a mess at the mo, that i daren’t…what shall i put on my head…a cap?
Hi Girls
Re Swimsuit buy, Ive just been looking for one and managed to get 1 for £15 on amoena-online in their sale section. They also do a swin prosthesis, although its £35. You could look in e-bay as I saw some lovely ones there for not bad prices, and m &s do them online too.
Good luck with your swimming, thats what Ive decided to do to get a bit fitter and loose a bit of weight