Can't stop crying


I think the enormity of it all has hit me hard over the last few days… that, tied in with the joy of hormone therapy, has meant that I have been non-stop crying. I am just so damn petrified of what lies ahead. The uncertainties. The fertility issue. Leading a normal life with the ever-impending doom that IT’s still in my body… lurking.

I just can’t cope with it all and wish I could turn my bloody brain off for a while.

I shouldn’t complain - I have a lot more than others I know… I just can’t stop crying.

Thanks for listening.

Hi Poannie,

I’m sorry you are having a difficult time at the moment, I was wondering if either the Breast Cancer Care telephone support group or peer support service may be of help to you?

The aim of the telephone support group is to give you the opportunity to talk privately and confidentially to other people around the UK with similar experiences. The groups are completely free (we pay for the phone calls) and as long as you have access to a phone and have a quiet private place from which to call, you can join us from anywhere in the UK.
For more information telephone 0808 800 6000 or email <script type=“text/javascript”>eval(unescape(‘%64%6f%63%75%6d%65%6e%74%2e%77%72%69%74%65%28%27%3c%61%20%68%72%65%66%3d%22%6d%61%69%6c%74%6f%3a%74%65%6c%65%70%68%6f%6e%65%73%75%70%70%6f%72%74%67%72%6f%75%70%73%40%62%72%65%61%73%74%63%61%6e%63%65%72%63%61%72%65%2e%6f%72%67%2e%75%6b%22%3e%74%65%6c%65%70%68%6f%6e%65%73%75%70%70%6f%72%74%67%72%6f%75%70%73%40%62%72%65%61%73%74%63%61%6e%63%65%72%63%61%72%65%2e%6f%72%67%2e%75%6b%3c%2f%61%3e%27%29%3b’))</script> .

Peer Support puts you in touch with someone who has personal experience of breast cancer or benign breast conditions and has been trained to listen and offer emotional support. We do our best to match you with someone who has experienced the issues that are most important to you, you will find the link below.

I hope this is of some help to you.

Kind regards

Sam, Moderator
Breast Cancer Care

Hi poannie,
I’ve had a bit of a weepy week this week too. I don’t know what set me off apart from an old friend has been in touch and have been explaining dx to her. I think I had pushed it to the back of my mind for a while. I’m sure that the enormity of your recent major surgery is also playing a part in your feelings, you went through so much.
Take good care of yourself.

Hi Poannie

You have been thro so much that its not really a surprise that you are having a period like this and cant stop crying. Sometimes I think we push everything to the back of our mind and can almost just ‘go thro the motions’ (I sure have),but eventually it all has to come out again.

Just want to say I am thinking of you and hope that you feel a bit better soon - maybe you can talk to the site counsellors or GP if you dont feel your picking up any?

Take care

Hello Poannie

I too have been weepy this week - think that its that time of year when we should be getting excited (?) with Christmas BUT we have IT lurking over us constantly.

It is so difficult to stay positive. I read the posts on this site and they give me confidence but then, just one little comment off someone in general conversation, starts your mind off on overdrive.

I was dx with bone mets in August and have got 3rd lot of bisphosphonate iv this afternoon.
I cant believe that this has happened and cant understand why - its so unfair!

I have not been much help but just want you to know that I understand your feelings.
When originally dx with bc, someone always knows someone who has been there - but with secondaries, I feel that this forum is the only means of real communication - REAL people!

Take care and I am thinking of you - are you joining Live Chat tonight? I’ll be there

Anne xx

For poannie and Anne, sixpen, it’s such early days for you both…I think back to the first 12 months after my diagnosis…a nightmare time, the shock of it all, getting little snippets of info on secondaries (I just couldn’t cope with too much at once) tears, why me? how long?..I even used to read sell by dates on packets and wonder if I’d still be here…every morning waking up (after little sleep) to the first thought of ‘‘I’ve got cancer.’’
You are both coping so well…you really are. It will get easier to cope with, live with, some thoughts will always be there but at times you will be able to push them into the background, there will be a new ‘normal’ you do adjust.
Love Belinda…xx

I’d just like to echo Belinda. It’s early days, just give yourself some time and let the tears flow. I found a lot of comfort from a telephone support group arranged by BCC as well as BCC peer support. It really makes a difference to talk to others who are or have been through the same.

Bestest wishes to all.

Ruthie x

Thank you Girls

I do apologise if I repeat myself sometimes but you give so much reassurance when its needed.

Anne xx


Just wanted to say that I know how you feel and totally feel the same as I was diagnosed three weeks ago. I feel so depressed on so many levels and the mere sound of “It’s CHRISTMAS!!!” on radio / tv is driving me insane because we are all mean to be so happy etc. Some days I don’t stop crying at the enormity of it all and other days find myself moaning about the cold wet weather (like that is all I have to worry about…!). And that’s before we start on the fertility (or now heading towards permanent lack of) issue. Anyway, not a great deal of help but just so that you know that you are not alone in your feelings and thoughts, poannie.

Thanks to belinda abnd busty1 for their encouraging comments, epecially as I am having those use-by-dates moments. I guess we will adjust to a different kind of living in time but it is just so hard at the moment and it seems like almost everything is a trigger for tears.

BIG fat warm wishes to you all

Angee xxxx

Hi Ladies

I was diagnosed with bone secondaries last month, and I’ve been exactly the same, I’m back at work full time between chemo sessions and every single morning before work I’m in tears, I’m surprised my eyes can still produce them! I’m only 28 so the fertility thing has also been a big thing for me. I don’t want to even know about Christmas at the moment, especially as it’s looks like I’ll be having my mastectomy mid December, great present!!

It’s so good to read other people’s stories though and to hear that other ladies on here are still carrying on to live normal lives (as far as possible with all this to deal with!)

I joined in the live chat last night, it was brilliant to be with people who know what you’re going through so if any of you ladies are considering joining in next time then definitely go for it!

Take care all, and try and keep smiling!

Tish xx

You ladies are so strong.

Poannie - let them tears out. It is all part of the journey. The ice inside you has finally melted and needs to wash away.

Thinking of you all

Carly x

Hi Girls,

I was diagnosed with bone mets three weeks after initial diagnosis of inflammatory breast cancer. Total devastation at the time.

However, I am now two and a bit years down the line and my oncologist says I am doing very well and is pleased with me. That doesn’t stop me having bad weeks though. Last week I seemed to be in tears for most of the week but have started to pick up again this week. I find when I feel tearful to cry as much as you want its better than bottling it up.

I totally agree with Belinda that it used to be the first thing on my mind when I woke in the morning but it isn’t always now.

Staying postive all the time is hard but reading the posts of other ladies it helps!

Best wishes to you all,

Denio x

Thank you for all your comments… reading them makes me realise yet again what wonderful women you all are…

Angee - I’m with you on the fertility issues. I’m on Zoladex and Tamoxifen, so who knows whether I’m going to be able to have kids or not… There’s always adoption and surrogacy though.

Hope everyone is okay

Have a good weekend ladies xxx