OK, if you are a little squeamish about your scar or reconstruction, or not ready for this yet - don’t click - but I found the photos of scars and recons on this project site very inspirational: thescarproject.org/index.html
It reminds me that we are very much not alone in this experience, and at the same time it is a very, very personal experience.
I am like MsMolly - I have shown my prosthesis to virtually everyone I know (even if they didn’t want to see it!!) and have shown my scar to most of my close girlfriends. I was so pleased with how neatly it healed, and also wanted them not to be afraid of it, or afraid of talking to me about it. But as I say, we all deal with it in different and personal ways - there is no right or wrong.
Thanks for the link Flora.
I found it difficult to view but they were indeed beautiful young women who should never have had to endure such tragedy.
I know I am not so fair of face nor do I have an attractive body anymore… Their beauty made me gasp and then I noticed their scarring. For many of us the scarring wrecks those last shreds of sensuality that we possess for such a short time in our lives…
I did compare my scars of mx with theirs and found mine to be similar and it did reaffirm my view that I do not wish for reconstruction. I now have to learn to accept my scarring and view it more positively more often.
Flora, this is definitely worth looking at, even if the text is depressing about the numbers involved. I still feel like I’ve had an amputation (after mx 13th Oct). I had wanted an immediate recon but couldn’t as I have to have chemo and rads first. The consultant also thought I should wait until after the herceptin treatment, which apparently goes on for a year.
I’m wearing the softee but won’t wear any of my V neck or low cut tops. I got 2 nice round neck tops (polo neck don’t suit me as I have a fat neck!) for £12 from Dorothy Perkins. I don’t wear anything in bed and look very lop-sided. I had to have a chest X-ray at hospital yesterday and had to remove all top-half clothes and put a gown on and wait in a corridor and I felt really self-conscious due to the one flat side and people walking past. Luckily I only had to wait a few minutes before the x-ray though.
Flora,
That was really helpful, those young women looked amazing.
Nottsgal, have a look at the Amoena website, under loungewear, they have pyjamas on sale there at the mo, and the pyjamas have pockets.
I felt quite comfortable with my softie to begin with, but didn’t get the right advice about washing them and ended up with lumpy softies. As if lumpy breasts weren’t enough! Have just discovered I can get new ones, and this time will take the padding out and just wash the covers
Flora, thanks for the link to the scar project. I agree with all of you about how young and beautiful these young girls are, and like Welshgirl, I found it hard to know they’ve had so much to endure, n at such a young age. It just doesn’t seem fair!
Nottsgal, I’d have been gutted in your position, as although I’m coping a lot better I still have some difficulties when I wear nightwear cos I don’t have the softie in place. I’m so glad you didn’t have too long to wait!
Im going to a fabric shop tomorrow to buy some polybeads as I want to have a go at making a polybead breast form for swimming, when my 6 weeks post op is up n I can start going. I’ve found a pattern for one online, so I’ll post the link to it here. I’ll get some velcro strips at the same time, and let you know how well it works fixed inside nightwear/softie. It’s good Amoena have a sale on their pj’s. I’ll take a look myself.
Lavender Lassie - I’ve learnt fom you as I thought it was the wadding we washed as well. Wot am i like??!! I’ve got three softies on the go and two are waiting to be washed, so I’ll now remove the wadding and just wash the covers!
I’ll go n find that link to the polybead swimform pattern n post it here, in case anyone’s interested.
I’ve found the link to making your own polybead breast form if anyone’s interested. I’m going to have a go at making one, but think I’m only a size 4 breast form, so will have to make it smaller - will use my softie as a basic outline pattern I think. Will let you know how it goes… here’s the link
Also, I’m thrilled with how this thread has progressed… I was feeling so upset and negative when I started it, but now am feeling so much better, and much more able to “see the wood for the trees”.
That’s down to everyone who’s contributed to this thread, so thankyou to you ALL! I feel I’ve learnt so much, and even though Ive not met any of you, I count you all VERY MUCH as my close “cyber friends.”
What I really like about it is that it’s become very much everyone’s thread, so people can reply to each other , and can share experiences etc. Guess that’s what it’s about isn’t it!
I’ve been wondering - should this thread continue as it is, or should we move it on by starting a new thread as a continuation of this one, with a title say, of… “Personal journeys - coping with a new body image”. What do you think? Leave it as it is, or start a new thread? If it’s the latter, there’s probably a better heading than what I’ve thought of… so, suggestions/comments pls…
I am glad the breast free site is of some help - I visit it whenever I feel like the only person on earth with no boobs and need some moral support.
I love their tip on using scrunchie sponges for swimming.
I am appalled at the cost of prostheses and have been looking at breast forms for transvestites online (seriously!) because theirs are so much cheaper - plus you get a pair! I will let you know if I find any reasonably priced ones.
I went commando to a big do last night - no boobs at all because my latest scar was so sore and I just couldn’t face being uncomfortable. I layered up with a waistcoat and a scarf and nobody noticed. Confidence plays a huge part in this.
Take care all.
Forgot to mention - I bought some weighted thread from a curtain shop which I sewed into the bottom of my softies. It gives them a bit of weight and stops them riding up.
The thread is made of tiny little covered weights in a strip which you would usually put on the bottom of curtains so that they hang properly. Costs next to nothing - about 50p a metre and it really makes a difference.
I am determined to find some cost cutting ways of dealing with this whole issue without forking out hundreds of pounds for these blimming prostheses. They are such a rip off.
