I wonder if anyone here has a partner who has been able to link into carers’ support for lesbians with a BC-affected partner? My partner has never felt that “ordinary” carers’ support services would be suitable or lesbian-friendly and so has remained unsupported. As I have secondary BC, this is even more isolating; where local support groups might cater for those living with someone who has primary BC, secondary BC support of any kind just doesn’t exist for me or her locally.
I’d be interested in hearing if you have better support - many thanks! xx
Hi Marilf (and partner),
When I went through this a few years ago my partner did every thing she could to avoid any formal support - and so did I tbh. I think we both had as much horror of the touchy feely ‘pink circus’ as anything else I was going through.
I seem to remember one of C’s first comments as we left the hospital after my diagnosis being ‘I don’t have to start running marathons now, do I?’ She always knows what to say to get me out of myself 
I did have a lovely, genuine, funny breast cancer nurse though, and some great docs, who were incredibly supportive of both of us, as were our families, friends and colleagues. We were lucky.
I’m pretty confident that we’d have found appropriate support if we’d looked or asked for it - I wonder if either of you have pursued this since your original post, and if so how have you got on?
Let us know if you log in… I have a feeling that people aren’t really using this part of the forum much now 
J
Hey there, sorry no-one was around to reply to you MArif, I have pretty much stopped using the site, altho I do pop on sometimes to see how everyone is. I haven’t heard of any specific services, but when Norberte and I did the launch of the research about lesbians and bisexual women there were so many people there kind of think there is potential for something - maybe even a phone thing every couple of weeks or so??? Let me know what you think cos we could try to get something going thru BCC perhaps??
Me and my OH had our fair share of homophobia and our fair share of great support during my treatment - and my OH is an NHS doc in the same trust!!!
Hi Julie & Moorcow - many thanks for your replies - I’d almost given up hope of seeing any from anyone. I’ve been a bit poorly for a few months, so haven’t had the time or energy to pursue more relevant carer support for my partner, but will speak to our local carers’ support group (we used to work in the same vol org, so I know them a bit) and see what they can offer. I’d be hoping someone in that or another org might be able to take on the “legwork”, as I simply don’t have the capacity to do this sort of project development any more.
Lovely to see you both posting here!
Love, Marilyn x
Lovely to hear back from you, sorry to hear you are poorly just now. Let us know - but only if you have the energy - how you get on. all the best to you and your partner, love Nicola