hello everybody.
i’m here as i just wrote on my profile because of my german friend.
august 2012 she had a lump which had seemed to develop very suddenly, was diagnosed in germany with a tumor, didn’t want to have any chemo/radio therapy (her & her partner hold the belief that the pharmaceutical industry are not to be trusted) chose to have a mastectomy. obviously i have only partial information, i only know what they have told me. i tried to convince them to take the conventional medicinr route…to no avail. she had no follow up treatment. went back to italy (where she lives, where i am) & said she was going to eat right and have a healthy lifestyle. she had initally told me that when they did a complete body scan there was no metastasi. (sorry, although i am british i know i may be italianizing these terms…i hope it is understandable) she did however say when they took out the tumour, removing one breast totally & part of the other, they took out 11 nodes, 4 of which they found ‘something’ in…i know it is vague but that is all i know. she did this in germany.
i saw her in november & then was away for the winter. she seemed well to friends who saw her in february here. but she said she had had back pain - thought she had strained it doing gardening. that would have been in december i think. i got back early march. on the 8th she told me she was back in germany for a 6 monthly check up and they had found something in the tissue around the breast i think & they were doing a biopsy, and she would get the results the following tuesday. she mentioned then the back pain, saying doctors now talked of osteoperosis.
on the tuesday she texted me saying that she was in bed with a herniated disc, & that she would go next week to ‘do her breast exams.’
then i got a message from her 2 nights ago. she said she is full of metastasi. in her bones. in her liver.
i have spent the last 36 hours talking on the phone. she thought it would be better if i came to visit her after her brother left. MAYBE I AM WRONG, AND WOULD LOVE ANY FEEDBACK FROM ANYONE - but i have the idea that once it is so advanced there will be no turning back…i told her that having seen this in a friend before i wanted to go and see her before she was so full of morphine (i believe the doctors have already given her an opiate to help her sleep) that she was ‘no longer there.’
i am going to her this wednesday. unfortunately i do not speak german, so i will not be able to offer much practical help to her & her family. again, having seen another friend die and watched his wife deal with his care, bed sores, coctails of drugs to be dosed & administered precisely throughout the day, i believe they will need professional help and support. her mother is 80.
her brother & partner fly to her on sunday, tomorrow. her brother is angry & wants her to fight, to do experimental stem cell treatment. her partner says why didnt the hospital immediately do blood tests on her when she saw them in early march - he is also out of his mind, not only because they have a real ‘soulmate’ kind of relationship - i have known them 20 years - they have always done everything together, really inseperable…but he also lost his brother to cancer in november without having got to see him…he was waiting until xmas. he also doesn’t want her not to fight at this point - and is now FINALLY talking about medical treament…he doesn’t want her to take morphine - but i expressed tho him that it was morphine or agonizing pain…he says it is weakening her will to fight & her immune system…
i don’t know if anyone can offer any help or advice - here are just some of my questions:
- is it too late to try and fight? is it worth looking into latest experimental treatment? should i encourage this? anyone got any info on any lates treatments in germany?
- can anyone offer any advice/links to bilingual german & english sites…
- how can i best help my friend? her mother, brother & partner?
- do’s & dont’s
- any info about this rick simpson oil? (i’ve looked into this a bit & see & hear all kinds of opinions of it from miraculous to placebo)
- how can i best support myself in order to give help to them?
i thank you for reading, hope my post was done in the correct way, and thank you in advance for any help, advice, info you can give me.
wishing you all the very best.
emma.