Channelling the trauma

Hi fellow warriors!
I am now 2 years post my first surgery, a mastectomy, caught on my very first screening mammogram. I also had a failed reconstruction following a very nasty infection, which I thought would kill me, an axillary clearance after the cancer spread to my lymph nodes, total hysterectomy following a bleed, chemotherapy and radiotherapy, then to top it all I was diagnosed with Polymyalgia after I found it was too painful to raise my arms (my GP thought this could have been brought on by the trauma of the diagnosis and treatment) It’s been a long and difficult 2 years. Sometimes, after a particularly busy day, I still feel exhausted, I have no confidence with how I now look and feel, with just one boob and my hair is not the same…I’m just completely different to how I was before, inside and out…even though some people think you are ‘back to normal’ (poor deluded idiots!)
I have just had my 2nd clear mammogram, which was a huge relief…even though my boob looks a different colour and I have quite a bit of pain in it.
BUT there are also positives…I am starting to feel a bit stronger. I feel very lucky to be here, I am a survivor!! I am now back at work after 18 months off, even though I have only gone back 3 days per week.
If all this sounds like rambling, that is what my head feels like most of the time, so I started a new hobby which has been a life saver!!! I started making products for people going through cancer treatment. I used my knowledge of some of the useless things that are available for cancer patients, made by people who have no clue what we go through! I have even started selling at artisan markets and have a little website…though I have to remember this is a hobby and I still have a job and I am prone to exhaustion. The reaction to my products has been great and sometimes people just come to the stall for a chat, about their treatment or a relative or friend…it’s been like therapy for them and me.
How have you channelled the trauma?
Stay strong!
Julia xx

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Hi @Jukat what a trying time you have had! I am on my second round of treatment having had two different primaries in two years. After my first cancer diagnosis I bought myself a bigger sailing boat and planned a voyage all through treatment. When I finished Herceptin after 18 months of chemotherapy surgery radiotherapy and immunotherapy I spent the winter getting strong and fit then set off on a solo sail around the Uk. My husband cycled along the coast and between us we raised £12000 for Macmillan. It was a brilliant trip and gave me back my mojo. A month later I found a new primary and off we went again on the cancer triathlon. I’m plotting now what to do next year when I am recovered and fit again. It helps to have faith in the future when it is all looking grim. Also I prioritise practical stuff like going to the gym, losing weight and eating well so I can get my old life back.
We all have different dreams. Chase them!

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What an inspiration you are Nancy!! It certainly does help to throw yourself into something, to distract the busy mind and prove that your life isn’t over because you have cancer.
Much love to you!
Julia x