I need advice. My friend who had BC 5 yrs ago has bone mets. She was only offered a lumpectomy at time and had a recurance so then had a double mast but no other treatment at the time.She has had the mets for 2 yrs. She has been asking all that time for chemo but got nowhere and has fallen out with her/our onc and now goes to another hosp. (I have had BC, mast, lymph invol, chemo, rads and now arimidex) we go/went to the same hosp.
She has texted me to say her mets are spreading and she has finally been offered chemo.
I want to ring her soon but would like to be a bit more informed. I thought chemo wasn’t very affective on bones. (my dad had bone cancer).
I want to be as positive as possible when we speak.
Here is the link to our factsheet on secondary bone cancer which has information on the types of treatments offered for bone mets. Perhaps you can pass this on to your friend.
When my cancer came back (initially in my spine) I was told that I wouldn’t be given chemo because bisphosphonates were far more effective. I was then put on chemo when it spread to my liver. Maybe that’s why she’s been offered chemo because it has spread to other parts of her body?
Hope you’ll be okay as well when you visit your friend. It’s not always easy to support someone when they are quite poorly when you’ve had a diagnosis as well. I had a very close friend who had mets like me but hers were in her lungs and I saw her right up to when she died but she gave me so much as a friend that although it was hard at times I would never have deserted her.
Well I got to see her and she is so poorly. Bizarrely it is not the BC that is causing so much pain and trauma, it is another condition unrelated which is affecting a nerve in her brain. It means she has double vision and so can’t drive. This means she is trapped in her house in a very rural location and with time on her hands she is dwelling, as you would, on the outcome expected from her BC.
The cancer is now in her lungs too and though this in itself isn’t causing her too much discomfort, it has affected her morale.
I came away feeling very mortal myself and slept badly too. It reminded me that just 2 years back, my friend was in the position I am in now. She was oblivious (which some may say is a good thing), to having bone mets and suddenly needed a hip replacment, and was given a very scary prognosis.
It’s hard isn’t it when triggers happen. I went to see my friend every day for 12 weeks when she was in the hospice yet the year before it was her supporting me because I was really ill.
I found with my friend that she made it easy (probably without even knowing) for me to visit her because she was still the person I knew but as she got worse I decided the Sunday before she died on the Wednesday that it was the right time to withdraw as she was so drugged up that she didn’t know what was and wasn’t reality. I have no regrets for withdrawing at that time because I needed to protect myself as well but I also know that I was there for her when it mattered and she could look forward to me going. Her husband was in total denial and only used to visit her for about 5 minutes and that wasn’t even every day. So sad because she was a lovely lady and didn’t deserve that.