Hi…I’ve had my breast lump removed…had a lymph node clearance…results were all clear…then was told there was a cyst on my kidneys…but thankfully was told on Tuesday that it is just that…cysts…anyway…now had my date for starting chemo…December 23rd…a nice Christmas pressie that is…I thought I was ok about it…till I went yesterday for my pre chemo assessment…it’s all very daunting now…the only thing keeping me sane right now is that we’re off to Florida on Sunday for 16 nights…I need to try and put the chemo to the back of my mind…
Don’t think I’ll bother with the cold cap…if I’m going to lose my already short hair…so be it…lol wonder why I bothered paying £55 yesterday for highlights…
I know everyone has a different reaction to the chemo…I’m starting with Epi…then CMF…is anyone else about to start the same treatment?
There are lots of us on here going through differing regimes of chemo and I am sure you would be more than welcome to join all or some of the threads for support. I think there are also some ladies about to start looking for friends for support so maybe you could have your own thread too.
I started my chemo on the 28th Oct and am having 6 x FEC and am more than happy to share experiences/advice/moans etc with you. I chat with a couple of ladies on the 17Oct thread and also on the 20th Nov. It doesn’t make much of a difference where in the process you are as we are all on 3 weekly cycles so there is likely to be someone about to have a treatment at the same time as you or feeling as you do.
Its an old saying on here that chemo is doable but its true. Yes everyone reacts differently and you will be scared by the side effects you are told you can experience and stories of rough times but generally we all cope and thats helped by having people to share your experiences with so you can feel “normal”, laugh, cry et.
Linda… bummer that it’s over christmas but if it’s any consolation you won’t loose your hair 2 days later, it takes a few weeks. I also decided just to let my hair go and am sure that was the right call as even with the cold cap you will lose some of it and when that grows back you must have 2 different sets of hair, how much of pain would that be!
I finished FEC just over 2 months ago, and rads 3 weeks and suddenly I’m starting to feel like the old me. This morning I got up at a lazy 11am, fussed over the dog, had a satsuma, dashed out for some lucozade, caught up on email etc and then I remembered that most of this year has been all about having breast cancer… I honestly completely forgot for a while.
So go on Holiday, have a hoot of a time and then deal with christmas…
One thing though is when it comes to Christmas dinner you almost certainly won’t feel like cooking it but you might feel like eating it more than you think as the steroids they give most people give you one mighty appetite.
I just wanted to share this because I was so daunted by chemo that it ruined the month before hand and while I never want to do it again (and hopefully never need to) I’ll never be scared of it like that again.
Hi Linda, my chemo finishes in January and then rads, but I have not been too bad, maybe one of the lucky ones. I went worried for my first one, but it is the fear of the unknown, the nurses are really lovely and take great care of you. I can’t believe I have gone so far through it already, please enjoy your holiday, I know it is easy for someone else to say don’t worry because we all do worry, but it is not as bad as it seems. I have got through epi and now am on cmf, the hair has started to come back as has my eyebrows and lashes, but I had it shaved and wear a lovely wig when out. Take care and enjoy your hols love junieliz
Thankyou ladies…maybe I’m not quite as strong about all this as I thought I was…I’m a total wreck right now…I just can’t stop crying…I can’t even answer the phone to my husband as I don’t want him to worry and come home from work…I know I’ll probably cope just like you all have…but I’ve never felt so down as I do right now…
You could ring the helpline and chat to one of the people there, they’ve all been through treatment and know the fears you’re feeling (as do we all but I don’t know how to do a sincere calming voice in writing
It really is natural to be that scared though, I wish I could give you a glimpse of what it feels like at the other end…
Hi,
I am wandering around different discussions too… I am having chemo before surgery and in the midle of FEC, before moving on to Tax for my New Year pressie!! It’s weird having chemo first because you just want the damn thing cut out!! Wore the cold cap, which didn’t bother me that much (nasty headache). Not lost lots of hair yet, but very early days. Decided just to try in case it works and I could preserve looking “normal” for my little one or maybe for me…who knows! But also very excited about wig shopping (love them…shame about circumstances!!) Have my last FEC on 23 Dec too. Not a nice thought is it? BUT…we felt a good opportunity to have Christmas just for the three of us (Me, hubbie and 3 year old) and not try to do anything too much. Hubbie cooks (result!!) and lots of movies and snuggling under blankets planned. The chemo was OK for me. Felt sick (not as bad as when pregnant), got a cold, had panic about that, felt tired, felt emotional, felt angry. Trouble is I haven’t been right since diagnosis really…not myself… - not with it…so hard to tell what’s the chemo and what’s me living in this permanent state of anxiety. The way I see it is that hubbie will be home a bit more over Christmas which will be nice (should I get a little bell to ring…???). I am in awe of everyone who has gone through surgery etc. That will terrify me more and I will no doubt be on here for help! I cry lots too and some days I don’t. I avoid answering the phone cos I can’t face talking about it all etc, but when i do speak to people I do feel better. Everyone on here has made me feel better that all this is normal. You just can’t help longing for it not to be happening though can you! You will get through chemo because you have got through everything else. Just think about the way that it will kill off any potential nasties. Everyone reacts differently, but for me (and only so far…which isn’t that far)… it wasn’t as bad as the massive picture I had constructed in my mad little head!! Meanwhile, have a fabulous fabulous holiday (jealous) and plan ways to enjoy Christmas. Gxxxx
Hi
I had a lumectomy in May and then a Mastectomy in June exactly 3 weeks after the first operation. I was a bit scared to start off with but it all happened so fast that it was over with before I could think too much about it. Saying that, I had to wait over a month before the chemo started as I went through a month if IVF treatment. When I went for my first chemo I sat in the department and cried… in front of everyone. I felt so silly, but it was fear of the unknown. I have now had 4 epi and 2 Xeloda, I have 2 Xeloda to go. The side effects for the epi were all controlled for me, I had a few bad days usuall between days 6 and 10 where I just felt down and had really bad constipation. So far with the Xeloda I have managed to go without any side effects as such, my hands and feet have very dry skin, but not anything I cant live with. I know its easier said than done, but try not to worry too much, I know its really scary, but as the other girls have said, you will get through it and in a few months you will be wondering why you were so worried. I hope it all goes well for you and you can keep your spirits up. Take care. Oh and are you in Scotland? Anywhere near Glasgow?
Go on your holiday and enjoy! I will be thinking of you as I have my chemo on Christmas Eve! As the other ladies have said everyone reacts differently and you do come out the other side I am due my 3rd chemo on Wednesday and not looking forward to it because I do suffer afterwards but the chemo nurses are there to help you and will give loads of advice it might be worth asking for sickness pills to take just before chemo but they are the best people to ask. All the ladies on here offer helpful advice and support its nice to be able to chat with people who really know what you are experiencing, take care and fingers crossed for you. x
|Hi scotsmomma
are you in Scotland? Thre are a few of us meet up near Edinburgh if you wanted to chum along?
I have just had penultimate CMF after Epi, and tho it aint no bed of roses, I have worked through it all with only a few days off here and there, so take heart.
You will not be able to stop yourslef being scared but after the 1st one, im sure you will be fine…contact Maggies if you need some help to deal with it…they also have lots of classes and things where yo can meet others in the same situation…which is nice, it’s good to know you’re not alone.
Best of luck
Gillian
Scotsmomma, I am having FEC 5 on 22nd December and have spent all this weekend depressed that it won’t be the usual Christmas for my little girl. I was so scared for the first one, much more scared than I needed to be. We are all here for you and are in sympathy with you xx
sorry some of you are feeling anxious about chemo, and surgery etc. i too have felt the same fears. i have had a lumpectomy, followed 3 weeks later by mascetomy, and then 6 chemo (fec). and yes it was doable. it makes it a little easier if you can keep things in the day, because as all of us know each day normally as enough in it to worry about, without worrying about tommorow or next week, month, year etc. i made a decision to enjoy the time inbetween treatments, or surgery, yes i was worried at times, but its easier to distract yourself if you do things you enjoy. it gives you a chance to spoil yourself for a change.theres is always something we can do normally, even if we are not feeling too well through treatment, i caught up on a lot of reading, knitting, walked in the countryside on my good days, but give myself permission to let the housework wait until i felt like it. it will make things a little easier if you take it easy,until you really feel up to doing things. im now just on tablets but i can honestly say it seems ages since i went through it all, and i only finished chemo end of August. Think back to other difficult times you may have had, time is a healer. and time will heal the emotional effects of this too.
take care everyone, x
Hi Scotsmomma
Sorry to hear you’re due to start chemo over Xmas. It’s bad enough anytime but I know over the Xmas period it seems more noticeable because of everything that’s going on round you. This is the third Xmas I’ve been on chemo - but fortunately this year I get my ‘treatment free week’ over my birthday weekend (this week) back to it Mon 8th and 15th and the Xmastime week - back to it on 29 Dec so I’m hoping to be OK to enjoy everything I’ve arranged to do!!! (I’m on 5FU over 72 hours and Navelbine).
Had a thought while reading your post though - if you’re due to start on 23rd could you ask your Onc to delay the start for a few days so you can at least enjoy the festivities. Especially if psychologically it’s dragging you down. When I get my dates to recommence chemo now I must admit I try to work out lots of factors so it works round what I want (within reason obviously because if it NEEDS to start immediately I have no choice). I’ve found this works for me because I feel more in control of things and am then ready psychologically and physically (as much as is possible) to cope better with it all.
Anyway it’s just a suggestion. Hope it helps.
Take care and best of luck with everything.
Luv Carol x
Thanks everyone for all your comments…I’ve just got back from a fantastic 16 nights in Florida…managed to put the C word to the back of my mind thankfully…but now back to reality…Tuesday’s almost here…thanks for the suggestion Carol…but my oncs already put it back so I could go on holiday…Gillian I’m near Falkirk…
I’m prepared for the worst now and anything easier will be a bonus…I hope the next 6 months passes quickly…good luck to everyone else …and I hope you all manage to have a lovely Christmas…and let’s hope 2009 is better for us all xxx
