Sounds good Ali. If it is not too much trouble to post would love to see technique. xx
Oh, stefr you really are going through it aren’t you? I’m so sorry.
As as everyone else has said, there is no need to apologise. On top of the other advice, I wonder if you have someone who could advocate for you with your OH? I am thinking maybe his sister or mother? Or a mutual friend? I’m thinking that might be more successful than asking soneone who is seen as being your friend.
i realise that depression is a serious illness, but I also know that sometimes mental health problems are seen as giving people a pass on behaving properly. (Don’t be cross anyone who disagrees). Our eldest son is schizophrenic and pretty well most of the time. But sometimes he’s selfish and inconsiderate to his wife. This may or may not be related to his schizophrenia. His father (mostly) has at times stepped in (when asked) and told our son that his illness doesn’t buy him a pass out of being a considerate, decent husband, He does it gently and with love, but he’s also firm about it. It has been transformative in terms of helping our son cope and improving things for our daughter-in-law. It might be worth seeing if you can find soneone to help with this. An alternative would be couples counselling, but it may not be easy to get him there.
Alix
stefr my heart goes out to you, ebim
Just want to say I too am sending love and hugs to you, Stef. I think you are amazing.
I think all of you on here are amazing. You all sound so strong and this forum is a great source of comfort for me.
I have had your trouble, Mooney - the horrible old constipation. In my case it was combined with its opposite - not sure how that is possible but it is. It has been agony and horrific. I’ve also been weeping at the sight of my bald(ish) head in the mirror. Feeling a total wimp these days.
Thought cycle 2 would be better but can’t say it has been. Is it normal to have a racing heart and breathlessness?
Added to this I have to do two long days work Thurs and Fri this week. The normality will be good, but the worry about wig, germs, and need for bathrooms will be horrid.
Sorry to be such a moaner when so many of you seem to be having a lot more to deal with than I do, but good to get it out. R x
Unique combination Robyn! I had the whole breathlessness bit on the first FEC but don’t seem to have it so far this time. I panicked but apparently it’s a common SE. I’m much more tired this time round. Don’t know how you lot manage to work as well. Makes me feel like a complete wimp but I don’t think being a supply teacher surrounded by snotty 5 year olds is the healthiest environment to be in just now! They are cracking company though.
Re the headwear, I got a bamboo sort of fez shaped hat from the wig lady and then she showed me how to take any oblong scarf and tie it round on top of the hat, it completely transformed it. I got a brown one because she said it suits blondes’ colouring. I have also knitted a woolly hat with cream earpieces that I knitted down in to plaits , my husband says I look like an Abba tribute in it. That might be itchy though; only day 10 though so I haven’t needed them yet.
Beedot x
Hi all - stefr i dont think i can add to the amazing support and advice from the others but just wanted to let you know i think u r being incredibly supportive and understanding but now is the time to put u first. Definitely use this space to offload.
Saw my bcn who completely reassured me re new lump in armpit - too superficial for lymph nodes so most likely infection from trapped hair folicle just carry on with abs and they will chevk again before next cycle.
Re sore throat sorry can’t remember who posted - i almost lost my voice days 3-7 really quiet, mildly sore but thankfully no ulcers etc. Xx warmest of hugs to all as always x
So here was my first go. I look a bit serious.
Ali x
And here’s another. I look a lot happier as I’m holding my brand new grandson. I’ve chosen the picture for best view of the scarf!
Ali x
You gorgeous pair x
Love it Ali! Gorgeous colour on you.
I’m still on the beanie hats as I’m not sure I’d have the confidence to style that one out in sleepy Cheshire! I had a session at HeadStrong and they gave me a free scarf and accessory tie. I bought a sleep cap and a ‘slouch beanie’ from them which has some extra material at the back so it looks like your hair might be in there rather than the tighter type of beanies.
I also bought a couple of beret type ones from notanotherbunchofflowers.com (A lovely site set up by a cancer survivor) which has well priced queasy drops and other good stuff). They looked great on the model on the website but I’m a little concerned that with a beret I might look less like a model and more like Benny Hill (retro reference for the over 40s ;)).
And on on the constipation theme: Movicol sachets worked for me!
Ive got FEC-T dose 2 tomorrow and had a PICC line put in today which I’m hoping will make tomorrow easier. I can do without the four attempts to find my vein they had last time.
Good luck to my chemo buddies on dose 2 this week.
Suze
x
OMG Ali, seriously lovely. It looks fabulous and so intricate! xx
Wow I love the headscarfs Ali. My sister sent me some lovely jewelled turbans from Etsy which were not expensive so I am going to wear to next chemo this Friday as hair is on the out…
Have a sore throat today so am really keeping fingers crossed that it doesn’t develop into anything before Friday.
Stef - like you my OH has depression. Has been on medication for a year and was planning to come off but then got my Bc diagnosis - I’ve told him he absolutely has to stay on meds for now as I cannot cope with dealing with him on top of all this. I can’t remember who posted that men are like an extra child and this is so true - I have 2 boys under the age of 10 and I often joke hubby is more work than both of them combined. Rant on this forum - don’t bottle it up inside. I also found a good app which forces you to do mindfulness - eventually after much persuasion hubby used it and found it helpful. I have even gotten my older son to do it as kids pick up more on these things than you think. Try and stay positive for kids. I was called today by teacher who said my older son had been crying in class because he was upset about me going for chemo. So sometimes it helps when the teachers have a word with them too to reassure them.
Deep breath - all this shall pass and we will all be stronger women at the end of it (and so will our families)
Best of luck to all doing chemo tomorrow and Friday!
Egg x
Sorry I forgot to add - I don’t know if any of you have read a blog by Liz O’riordan. She is a breast surgeon who was diagnosed with breast cancer. Anyway, she suggested something called Jar of Joy. Just a bowl or vase or whatever you want, and you write something good on a piece of paper and put it into the jar. Then whenever you are feeling low, pick out a paper and read to remind yourself there are still good things in life. Sounds a bit twee but actually it does work - I work in healthcare and have coke across psychologists who use something very similar. Anything is worth a try!
Hi Suze! Il be thinking of you whilst I have my chemo today too (it’s my third round this time and really hoping they see some progress in my lump!)
Ali - wow - super glam gran!
Jackie - you sound so strong and I totally understand how the hair loss is distressing - I would hide from any mirrors for at least a week after I shaved my hair. I would walk past them with hands over my eyes until I had my hat on. Especially if I was naked after shower too. I’ve not had my surgery yet but my lump is huge and has deformed my boob and I’ve gained loads of weight since the diagnosis in November so generally feeling pretty low about how I look. I treated myself to some new posh make up though and am making an effort with it every day (seeing as I have lots of time now!) and that helps a bit. The wig also helps some days when I need an extra lift. You are not a hag - you are a strong amazing and beautiful woman kicking BC where it hurts!!
Sending lots of love to you all xxx
Good luck Wtp. I’ll be there tomorrow!
Hope it goes well wtp.
So thanks, all for the lovely comments. I’m a bit embarrassed as I genuinely was showing off the scarves not me. Wtp I can relate completely. Those photos are nice, but when I walk around the house with my massive bald pate, I don’t see glamour. I see Richard O’Brien (without make up). I too have put on weight, and I was already fat because I did my knee ligament in last May, and it was just healed as I found the lump.
But I think you’re right wtp, this is about our perception of ourseleves, not other peoples’. So from now on, I am seeing an Amazonian warrior, albeit with a rather unfetching patch of stubble behind my left ear. (Wish those last follicles on my head would just give up!).
Also a delayed thank you for the PICC line info, JoJo. Mine’s been sore and I was becoming a bit concerned, so that was really helpful.
Ok, I’m off to wait for the District Nurse to visit and to practice Amazonian thoughts.
Have a very good day all
Ali xxx
Good luck to everyone having Chemo today or tomorrow.
I went to a look good feel good workshop yesterday afternoon. It was really good and the goody bag seriously impressive. It did help a little to make me feel better about myself. I have never been a great make up user and particularly eyes just a bit of lipstick and some moisturiser. So to learn how to put my eye make up on to make a difference now I have no hair was brilliant. Also the chance to meet with other lovely people who are suffering from different forms of cancer. Don’t get the opportunity to talk about how it’s affecting you to other people going through the same thing and exchange views tears stories. So it was good and I recommend to everyone
On another point has anyone had sore eyes with the FEC. Mine got redder and redder yesterday and are now a bit sticky this morning. Used some ordinary drops but don’t know if it is an infection or just a side effect of the chemo.
Ali Hope you are enjoying your grandson. Precious times.
Love and hugs
Mooneyxx
Dear Mooney
I had sticky eyes after my first EC. I used some dry eye drops from Optrex and it helped. And avoided all eye make up as eyelids were dry too. But maybe if they are very red you should give BCN a call to check? I just called BCN though and she wasn’t at all helpful - I just wanted to know if someone should have filled in my chemotherapy book when I was at clinic yesterday - she didn’t even know what a chemotherapy record book was!?
Oh no! Just had call from hospital saying neutrophils are down and I have to go in and have gcsf injections - means chemo tomorrow will be delayed. Bollocks!! Am so cross with body for letting me down the day before of all things