Nicky
Thanks for the advice normally I never worry about thingd till they happen but think this is a whole new kettle of fish not as if you can say oh i’ll deal with it later. I suppose the one thing that keeps me sane is the fact that I have a very slow growing cancer so if it spreads then they can deal with it. But I will insist on a scan.
joanne
Joanne
There are so many things that we think about after dx that it’s no wonder you get worried. When I’d had my 5 sample nodes checked (and all clear) I saw a lady at rads who’d had all of hers taken. I worried about them taking not enough and she worried about taking them all! What’s strange is the same disease is not consistently followed up or treated the same across the same Health Authority let alone the country. Mine is also a slow growing non aggressive cancer so my only hope with 2ndaries is that is responds well and continues to be slow and maybe even stops for a while - hence the chemo. Don’t worry too much, easier said than done, but get advice from your team and see what can be checked. There are loads of stories on here about aches and pains and other things which turn out to be nothing, then at least you have peace of mind.
Take care
Nicky xx
Hi Ladies
I thought i would share with you what happened to me and my OH the other night…don’t worry it is nothing rude! Looking back it is funny… so please feel free to laugh if you like. It was about 11pm and i thought i would go into the kitchen and get myself a drink I looked into the garden and saw my cat(Ollie) playing with something. When i took a closer look, it was an hedgehog (ollie as only just turned one and still at that playful stage, still not sure at that age what is good to play with!). The hedgehog did not want to play and looked like it had gone into shock. Called my OH so we could rescue this poor hedgehog from the overactive cat. After 10 miutes of wrestleling the cat to keep him away, we managed to get the hedgehog into the cat box and put some cat food in with him. We put the hedgehog into the utility room where it is dark so he could recover. The cat is now really peeved of… we have took his playmate away, put the hedgehog in his box and fed the hedgehog some of his food… definately not a happy pussy cat…he stomped is little paws and went upstairs to sulk! After about an hour we checked on the hedgehog and seemed to have recovered, from playtime with the cat. OH and myself decided we better take the hedgehog somewhere safe to release it… the time is now about 12.30am. Got into the car and drove down a quiet country lane not far from the house. Where we live there is an airfield and as security guards proctecting the perimeter…see where im going? We pulled up in the car with full beams so we could see what we were doing. At that exact moment a security car came passed… it slowed down to a crawl and was really checking us out. Now it must of been a strange sight… me with my PJs on and bald head and OH in three quarter length trousers and Jesus sandals!!! Luckly they didn’t stop so we managed to make a hasty retreat after releasing the hedgehog. We got home and kept thinking there will be a knock at the door any moment with the police asking questions… none came!! I was telling my friend about our little adventure… she said the security guards might of thought that we had gone down the lane for a midnight romp. With my bald head and looking like my dad i hope not, because i would feel sorry for my OH… if you know what i mean.
Kirsty xx
Too funny Kirsty.
Had to rescue a hedgehog year before last ourselves, it had got itself trapped in the filter of the local outdoor pool (outdoor pool in Cumbria too. I kid you not!)
Hope you got some sleep after that adventure.
I’m all aches and pains today so getting out of here before paranoia sets in.
Lots of love ladies, hang in there whatever you may be doing.
Angie
Kirsty - I expect to see a full report on tonight’s news! Very suspicious but I bet it looked so odd two ‘guys’ in a car together on a quiet road. At least if they took your number plate down and make further enquiries you won’t be too concerned about your OH’s nocturnal adventures 
We only got a slightly battered bird from our cat this morning. She’s a very active 13 yr old so you’ve got a few more years of this to go if yours is only 1. Just been at a good friend’s this afternoon for a chinwag and she reckons her 2 young cats were looking for ugly things last week. A very raggedy young bird and a dragonfly of all things! Guess they’re only trying to teach us to hunt or bringing us gifts - a box of chocs would be far more appreciated though.
Angie - are you Ok? Is it ‘just’ post chemo aches - hope so and hope they clear up soon.
Take care all
Nicky xx
Heya Nicky
Yeah exactly the same aches and pains as week 3 last round so not taking them seriously just yet. Have to remember that they are filling us with evil nasty drugs and that will happen don’t we.
I could maybe train my collie to bring you a box of chocolates, well the box anyway, can’t promise the chocolates would stay intact 
Hi
Nicky - Our cat as brought a few birds and keeps trying to catch frogs also. With him being black maybe i could train him to get some Black Magic Chocs LOL
Angie - Hope your aches and pains clear up soon and your right about the nasty horrible drugs. If you do successfully train your collie to bring chocs intact, can i volunteer to be someone he/she can bring them to also
Big ((((((((HUGS))))))))) to everyone else
Kirsty xx
Hi, (the story about the day with the bees)
I love the story Kirsty, wonder if they took your car number plate down just in case!!! Well actually I have been laughing a lot at some of your stories. Bevy’s story about her husband’s lump was a classic. I didn’t think anyone could upstage the patient in their consultation and then the labour part!!! LOL I can’t remember what else I was laughing at and I can’t turn back or the post will go now.
I needed a good laugh after THE MOUTH travelled down to the other end and to cut a long toilet humour story short, ended up with me getting an olympic gold for the most evacuations in one day!!! The end result is that I feel like I sat on a bee and its still there!! Waddled into the chemist and was relieved to find they have a treatment that works fast so getting under control. Life just never fails to astound me. There I am moaning and all anxious about changing drugs, could even be quoted as saying ‘better the devil you know,’ and today I hear myself say to the pharmacist ‘well thank goodness that was the last epi, and I hope my symptoms change.’ I sometimes feel someone with a sense of humour plans my life.
So tonight I planned at least an hour in the bath, probably asleep and had those lovely visions (delusions) we have of being normal in the morning. It is the strangest thing, I saw something big and black out of the corner of my eye, on the other side of the glass of the door. Whaaaaaaaaaaah whats that I shouted. MY son lept up opened the door saw it and banged the door shut as fast as he could, where we both stood and shouted for OH to come and get it. It was bigger than a Queen bumble bee with orange on it.By the time cloth ears heard us it was nowhere in sight. We have been through every room and have no idea where it is but know for certain it IS WITH US, no way out!!! We have been everywhere twice and just stood and listened. We have put strategic lights on to draw it out but no luck the big beasty is with us!!! Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp. If I tell you my son is 16, a manic rugby player and bigger than most men you will laugh even more. We are seriously scared to go to bed. OH is fast asleep and doesn’t care if it is even in the room with him. We have had one scare when a 5mm moth went past me and I screamed and my son nearly had heart failure from me scaring him. He has also crept up and touched my arm and done the same back to me as a joke Ha Ha. It might be behind me now!!!
So we are sitting up hoping it puts in an appearance soon. I will die on the spot if I am in the bath and it comes out. Son even went for a wee with the door open so he could get out faster. We have been fighting not to be the first one through each door as you can’t get out again so quick. It could be a very long night.
Well hope you are all ok. Angie hope both your complaints soon improve and lots of luck to Lorraine with this next one. Is anyone else in this week? If so I wish you well as always.
Poor MIL fell out of bed onto a cabinet and now has a split open eye and skinned arm to add to her discomfort. It was scary, got a call at 1 am and roared up to theirs, about 5 miles away but my eye sight was mad and didn’t feel very safe driving. She did not recognise me or her son (BIL) and was scared of us. We just had to move away from her and you know no-one would come out to her. We didn’t call an ambulance as she wants to be at home and has requested no treatment but no out of hours service from cancer people and the out of hours doc wouldn’t come. Stayed a few hours until she was soundly asleep and left BIL to sleep on her floor, promising to be back at 6ish. It is such a tough thing to decide what to do, I really hoped she would get her wish, perhaps from the shock. Next day the carers were crying, wanting her in hospital, district nurse madly ordering her the bed she needs to be safe ( cannot have one for 5 days, with a terminal patient!!), still no sign of relief macmillan worker, lovely doctor came in, read notes, spent ages, sighed and nothing to do, hospice say ‘she can’t still be with us’, they could have kept in touch when she stopped treatment couldn’t they? BIL said all calm next morning, so we went up later that afternoon and there she is obviously injured, but bandaged up, wide awake and she chatted with me for over half an hour, one of the most lucid talks for ages. It is such a rollercoaster of emotions. Now, everyone says you could have called us, but we tried all the numbers and the messages all said no out of hours service call your GPout of hours service. One person said you have to wait and after that they give you a numbe to call!!! Why would you hang on after that?
Keep the great stories coming, we seem to be on a wildlife theme again. Going back to my killer bee safari!!
Lily x x (fungus free)
hiya all, been laffing at some of the stories, cheered me up a bit. Lily sounds like its hard with mil. god dont know how you all keep track of the posts, my head is a shed! been into work today, off for bloods tomorrow. had a wierd few days, has any one seen mama mia - god I came out on such a high yesterday which was topped by my bessie mate having a baby 14 years after her first. my other best friends nana died and was funeral today, my best mate who had her baby, her nana ill too after about 5 weeks in hospital finally found out she had bone cancer, she held on and died half and hour after she found out she had had the baby, it made me really weepyseeing my friends baby was lovely but made me miss the idea of a happy family and the fact I will never have that (dont think I was cheered by the fact that it was the same route as my dreaded hospital trolley to surgery went. dunno whats wrong with me, I feel a need a good kick up the jacksee, Ive bawled all night and even though I have sooo many friends and family around I feel lonely and that I should be making most of my time instead of wallowing. Some times I keep telling myself i do have cancer and it could be worse and othertimes I think I can deal with it - waffle or what. Think its cos so much happening around me, seems to be lots of people with cancer, my bro and wife just bought a lovely plot of land to build a new big house, friends are going on family holidays and Im sitting here skint, worried about money, feeling lonely!! oh and as fat as, wouldnt mind but mouth is so horrid can hardly taste anything!
God, really sorry about the twine, im ususally so positive but think its an act for those around and sometimes just need a good blub withouth people saying to me, you aint helping yourself you need to keep positive, aaarrrggghhh!!! right stopping feeling soz for my spotty self and off for another wine and alan carr celebrity ding dong to see if can get a laugh out of myslef. sorry if brought anyone down, will be happy tomorrow if bloods fine as dont want to spoil my last good two weeks
Love to everyone
xxx
p.s. blasted tears, gonna stop now, lost a few more lashes!!!
xx
Hi Lisa,
not surprised at all that your friend having the baby had such an impact on you. Poor her with her Nan going. Do you think helping her might give you a lift too. It would be lovely if Aunty Lisa could get involved with the baby and maybe if you are close you can have an important role in the baby’s life. What did she have? Once you are better do you think you might consider adoption or fostering ? I think you have so much to offer and as I understand the rules on couples has changed. I know what you mean about everyone making plans. I don’t even want to hear that people are of course going abroad this year. I feel chained to the house, not even going to work at the moment. I can’t even do things to the house too much as I am not up to it and my pay will be cut badly from Oct. I know that makes me luckier than many people and when things happen with MIL we will benefit, but that makes me feel even worse to be honest.
Well I was trying to cheer you up, its that blasted twin thing again!! Well at least you haven’t the bee from the deep scaring the pants off you tonight and anothe bee up your bum!! You know it never occurred to me to look there!!!
Chin up matey. It is cr@p right now but you just don’t know what great things, holidays and people may be in your future or just round the corner.
Big hug and I hope getting this all out and having a cry will let go of some of the stress and make you feel a bit better.
Lily x
Lisa, Lily… You two both deserve some serious R&R and good luck, what roller coasters you’re both on right now.
I’m not fungus free, still. 48 hours of feeling like I’m sitting with sanding paper as panty liners is enough to drive anyone mad. God what am I saying, I’ve got off so lightly I shall take this with humility… NOT.
Lisa are you at the low point or next dose point bloods wise. Wish we could share chemo diaries. Maybe I’ll have to build that as a facebook plugin for breast buddies. I probably could.
I have to confess you have both made me shed a tear, and I needed it my eyes were so dry.
You have spurred me into action though, there are some more risky websites I’ve been asked to be part of in the past and one was about euthanasia in the UK and where we’re at legally and how it really should be actively discussed rather than brushed under the carpet. I was too scared to commit at the time and didn’t have the time but did say I would talk to them later. I was brought this challenge/opportunity after running the reg keys election site (the guy who went for blairs seat at the last election). I think I may start the discussions now as I do hoestly feel that sitting on the fence is making a decision in one way, ie confirmation of the status quo, ie stay the same as we are now and I don’t support that anymore.
God sorry to get so political, bring work into here would be a bad idea… last I’ll say on it.
Angie
Lisa and Lily - the twins - sorry to hear you are down, especially Lisa at the moment as it sounds like everything is getting to you. We are all on such an emotional roller coaster at the moment so births and deaths are no wonder playing havoc with you. You’re both dealing with big things at the moment ( I sound like Pooh Bear!) plus the very ‘little’ problem of bc. As one of my daughters said when she knew my dx in April, she could just about deal with that but even the smallest extra pressure was enough to tip her over - wise words from a party loving 17 yr old. Take care of yourselves and have a treat today - I hear it’s the day that Angie’s dog is making us all a visit and has promised not to eat all the chocs on the way.
Lily - what are you like? Was it a remake of The Killer Bees? Hope (not sure if that is the right word) you found the culprit and it’s now out of your home and life forever - that would make a lovely ending to the film. And hope the botty bee has left the building with Elvis (another alternative ending). Obviously is would be a funny remake as it make me laugh so much - who’s playing you and your son? Guess anyone could play your OH as he didn’t have any lines to say and I didn’t really see his face.
Lisa - a good bawl has hopefully made you feel better. Every so often I feel the pressure mounting and it’s the best way to let off steam with physically hurting someone.
Angie - hope the sandpaper knickers get binned soon, if it’s not one end with us it’s the other.
Really can’t wait to get all these ‘extra’ side effects over and done with when we’ve all finished chemo. Some days that does seem a long way off though doesn’t it, but we are all a good long way down the chemo road which is why we feel so rubbish about it all. I was wondering if any of us have re read our thread from the beginning (as some of our newbies have) - bet we sounded a lot jollier about the whole thing then! Also, just to say, when I was 1st dx a few years back all I ever thought of was my bc, how I’d be, had it gone etc for at least 12 months after dx - and this was after a very ‘gentle’ treatment regime that didn’t have me coping with chemo as well. After that (and my 1st mammo) I did relax more and it didn’t rule my life as much, I got on, did things I wanted to and made sure I enjoyed every bl**dy minute, no regrets. It honestly does recede into the background more and more especially after a tough treatment plan is over. The weird thing is I think less about my 2ndary dx now than I did about my 1st dx - didn’t think I’d EVER say that when I found out in April (some stupid April Fool’s joke from the onc if I remember correctly - how could I forget?) Advice over with!
Well, at long last the day has arrived that we (OH and I) got to the seaside and treat ourselves to a nice hotel overnight. The sun is shining (after a huge thunderstorm with special effects lightening last night) and we’ll see how much/little we want to do over the next 2 days. OH nearly stopped the whole thing yesterday morning when he woke up with such a bad back he couldn’t get out of bed/walk/do anything. Obviously a classic ‘man’s back’ problem. So I had to nurse him into the car, down to the Drs and into the chemist, pay for £21 worth of drugs and try to be nice. Well, I’m the only one around here allowed to be ill at the moment so you can imagine the sympathy he got from me - yep, zero. Do I really need to spend any more time in medical places than I already do? Just the thought of them makes me nauseous. Well a miraculous recovery happened in the afternoon (whilst I was at a friends scoffing strawberries and gossiping - yes, probably at the same time) and we got out to Cafe Rouge last night for a nice meal as I was determined not to cook for a few days.
I will be off line for a day or so and will catch up with you all later. Hope everyone cheers up, feels better, has a good weekend. Back to Gatwick on Sunday morning (no hols, boo, hoo) to pick up youngest from her 2 week exchange. Sounds like she’s had a good time and expect her to be fluent on return! 3 days at home then she’s back to France to stay with a friend for a week. Her carbon footprint is bad this year - at least we’ve not added to it!
Take care all you lovely ladies
Nicky xx
Hi Girlies,
so sorry Lisa you are having a crap time but it is better to have a good bawl than try to keep it all in but I know what you mean about putting on a brave face for friends etc and then when alone you hear a song on the radio or have a shower and have to look at the change in your body and feel really low. Hope you feel brighter soon and it will pass but I think we have to be realistic and know it will creep back at times.
Lily hope the burning bum situation has improved well I suppose it is different to a burning bush! the beastie in your house sounds horrific (and no I do not mean your OH) I too would be like your son and not want to be in a room without a planned escape route! hope it is discovered soon.
Nicky have a lovely break away for the house and break from cooking!! I am realled hacked off as I left the bloody freezer door open last night and have spent the afternoon cooking curries, shepherd’s pies etc. not what I had planned for this afternoon.
Lisa I went to see Mama Mia yesterday and it was such good fun what a great uplifting film I didn’t want it to end. The other good thing was I had a real urge to dance so I was really pleased those feelings aren’t too deeply buried! highly recommend it
I have my 2nd Chemo session on Wednesday I wore the cold cap for the first but the hair has decided to fall out at the temples (not a good look!) but it is a real temptation to pluck away at it I must control myself. If it isn’t too bad by Wed then I might cold cap again. Such a choice to cold cap or not to cold cap!
I too get really p****d off hearing about people’s holiday plans the last one we had was last Sept for a week which seems like a long time ago I know it is not their fault and everyone deserves a break but I feel I do too! o.k. I am whinging (still it makes you feel better doesn’t it!)
wishing everyone a restful, peaceful weekend.
love Bevy x
Must be that time of the month again were all feeling pretty low. i just can’t seem to lift myself
doesn’t help that my so called boyfriend who is away working and coming back tonight cant be bothered to see me even though I’ve had the worse week ever what with getting hickman line in more chemo bad news and possible mets and all i want is a cuddle not much to ask for.
well thats my moan for tonight. sorry
Joanne
Great news,(killer bee part 2 - the sequel)
I found the killer bee this morning !!! Not a bee actually but an enormous dung beetle who was circling the dog’s bowl on his back stuffed full of whatever he had been eating. I don’t know much about beetles but that’ what he looked like he was doing. Feeling brave I gave an enormous shout ‘I’ve found the big black thing!’ and my son and daughter 2 (the most hysterical of all our ‘adventurous family’, who was round with her little boy) and the sheer heaven that is my Grandson rushed in. Seeing it on its back, made me suddenly feel really brave so I picked the dog’s bowl up, much to the hysterics of daughter and baby. ‘Get it out’ she screamed. Before my eyes it suddenly turned turtle and I realised it was now quite capable of coming straight at me and be loose in the house!! Not another night! So I had to leg it out the door and ran back in where I could see it was just paddling about looking very weary again. Thought my Oh should see it, as I wasn’t convinced he even believed us last night! Having mega stress at work so what with his Mum, losing his Dad last year too and me now with BC and trying to be with me for everything, he is on danger overload.Sorry went off the plot. So I trapped it outside in a jar. Later when I looked it was not moving, so went out gingerly rattled the jar and then picked it up and violently shook the jar. Nothing. I noticed it was an amazing purple colour underneath and had huge claws so thought I would take it back in the house to show them. Hysterics as I walk in. Look its dead I say and shake the jar to prove it. WRONG OH SO WRONG!!! The little bu…er turns turtle again and is ready for action again. He faked it!!! That beetle actually faked it!!
Animal lovers will be pleased to know that no animals wer hurt during the filming of this fiasco and aforementioned dung beetle is now ferreting about in the compost at the very bottom of the garden, having being taken away by the only person brave enough to do it. Good old OH…
The End.
Nicky I hope you have a brilliant time, loved the sentiments you shared with us and HOW dare OH have something wrong. Angie I reckon I had sandpapered Andrex. Can you pop one of those tablets that cures it quickly, or is that not allowed? I really hope you improve over the weekend. Bevy I would still stick with the cold cap, I lost tons of hair but still managed to avoid a wig or scarf so far, it just looks absolutely pathetic. Pathetic but cooler in this weather.Lisa how are you? I have had several cries today as I am so uncomfortable and am in a cold sweat if I think I might have to go! However I have discovered these fantastic things, if this is of help to anyone else, suppositories that contain a local anaesthetic, shrink piles, stop itching ans sooth sore and inflammed areas in the nether region. They are made by germoline. So the bee has a fag in his mouth today!!! Sorry that was terrible! Also got a gland up in the groin so hiding from the nurse or will be dragged in and I refuse to have that looked at. Joanne sorry I couldn’t keep talking that night/morning. When is your first test, are they getting onto them next week? Hope the line starts to improve soon and tell him to get his backside over to yours.Hi everyone else on here, take care and enjoy the wekend if you can.
Love to you all. Lorraine hope this one is not too bad.
Lily x x
Hi All
A couple of days have now passed since the hedgehog incident and have had no police knocking on the door asking questions. Today the cat as payed us back for taken his playmate away and brought a dead bird in!!! He sneaked upstairs with it… i only found it when i was greeted with loads of feathers all over the landing and bedroom. The cat sat by the bird with a big smirk on is face… well it looked looked a smirk to me!! My son as now gone to is dad for three weeks, so maybe OH and myself can maybe visit the dark country lane:-) We are off to some friends Saturday night for a meal and quite a few drinks. I have not had a drink for a while, so if you don’t hear from me on Sunday it means i am nursing a sore head.
Angie - How the aches and pains? Lisa - Don’t be sorry for winging sounds like your week as been quite emotional. This yucky illness and treatment plays with our emotions and it is better to get it out of the system. Nicky - Glad you got out. Men can really play on there symtoms/illness it must be in their genes. Lily - i am still having fits of laughter having read your incident with the killer bee/beetle. Nice to see your OH came to the rescue.
Take care to everyone else and hope you have a good weekend
Kirsty xx
Hi Louise, ophs! knuckles rapped apologies I don’t normally use bad language must be the situation I am finding myself in but point taken.
regards Bevy
Morning Ladies.
Ah the bowlingball for a stomach is receding, mum’s coming to see me, should be a good day. Must be 48 hours till they fill me up with evil again.
Hope you’re all doing good or at least hanging in there. I will be avoiding big beetles this weekend.
Joanne, you poor thing, that tops my crapest of crap weeks. Big hugs, not the same as boyfriend I know but hugs none the less.
Lots of love ladies…
Keep on laughing, or have a good cry if that’s out of the question.
Angie
Well started the day with pure optimism and joy, or at least attempts at because it’s my good weekend woohoo.
Turns out there’s a wedding going on at the church down the road in my little village (and right now I feel defensively like it is MY little village) walking back up the road and every single person ignored me, that isn’t the done thing around here, you at least nod your head a little to acknowledge another person exists, you don’t have to talk to them or anything (although a hi is usual). So on top of seeing all these blushing brides in their strapless dresses being held up by what seems to suddenly appear to be spectacular boobies I have to deal with being completely blanked like I don’t exist within the confines of my little village.
God I hate normal people sometimes… and yes the fact that my own wedding has been put back to next year probably does play a part in my resentment. Grrrr Grrrr GROWWWWL.
Sorry had to get that out of my system. I wish the bride and groom a long and happy life and I hope all their guests get a little bit wet
Sorry the mischievous me never lurks far away
Right back to trying to be optimistic on my good weekend. Anyone in the Lakes. Queesn head in Askham is having a fun day today raising money for cancer research, kids WILL have their faces painted, and sunshine permitting there will be a BBQ. And one of Tommy’s books is up for auction.
Hope you’re all having a great day. I’m fed up of us all suffering while the world just goes on belligerently, not right, they could at least postpone this economic freefall until we’re fit to do something about it couldn’t they