Hey everyone
Have you noticed Lisa finished her chemo.
Lets give it up for our lovely friend
Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Lily x x x x
Hi Joanne,
what a brilliant idea to feed the brain with new knowledge. not surprised as you have often posted interesting articles that you have found on line especially about BC news articles. I have read all of them as oyu seem to find a longer article than in the daily paper. Keep doing that good work for us please. Can I point out again that I am the biggest loser when I am sad so don’t come creeping in trying to be the loserer and beating me. Or I will come back and then I will be the losererer!!! Hope I made you laugh sweet.
Now get stomping back on the old chemo because we only want to do it once. The second one was no different, slightly better actually as I knew what to expect and it did not accumulate. You coped with the first. Did you keep adiary or can you remember which days you need dynamite to shift the constipation and which days you need to eat bland things so you don’t cause acid?? If not jot it down this time and it will bring it back into your control more. Hey I can’t lose 2 people on the same week, get out that corner and lets get number 5 done and dusted. BY the way when you walk out the door you have completed 62.5% of the chemo. Hooray. After the next lots it will be 75 %!!!
Finally if you need more persuasion, seeing as I am too far away to come round and bend your arm behind your back!!! -
Youhave been worried about spread and the comment that idiot doctor made without explaining properly. The Methotrexate in our treatment is use for primary and metastatic cancer and is used for lymph node cancers such as leukemia too. So this seems to be a good one try to put up with if you can. In my area I only get this one if I am on the trial.
It could be the very one we need
Have I convinced you yet? You need to say yes or I won’t shut up. Sorry!!!
Love
Lily x x x
Hi Lovelies
Wow, what a lot to read. We all went up to London for the weekend (en famille) so have only just caught up and I’m sorry if I miss anyone or their news out.
Firstly I hope the funeral goes well for today Lily and you all can remember the good times - I bet there’s plenty of them. I can imagine there will be an anti climax in the following days which won’t be helped by the way you must be feeling right now but please rant and rave at us rather than punching someone’s lights out 
Lorraine, hope your appt goes well today, you get answers to all your questions and know which way forward you go from now on. Hope it’s similar to me and no more chemo for a while at least.
Angie - microlight-ing? Scary but exhilarating I should think. Great way to see things and travel but don’t suppose there’s any where to land at the local supermarket is there?
Lisa - I’m not sure if you’ve had your last chemo or if it’s this week? If you have well done and a definite trumpet fanfare, if not, hang on in there, it’s not long to go. Sounds like you’re going to be busy one way or the other, so have fun
Joanne - you know we’re here for you to whinge and whine if you want to. All of this is such rubbish so it’s not surprising we all feel like this but we do totally understand - and that’s without any other worries or fears we might have. Nice idea to learn new things though - I’m a bit like that but haven’t learnt anything new for a while. Maybe we should have a knowledge sharing thread!
Bevy - hope you cheer up, must be so difficult when a son or daughter leaves home, but I guess you’ll see him often? Focus on the positives like you said - no dirty football stuff, smaller food bills and at least when you do catch up with him it’ll all be good things not the annoying little things that ‘kids’ do.
Well, I hope I’ve sorted my appt out for Thurs. It was such a pain in the @rse chasing the onc’s secretary. The unit has been fab and we always book our next appt when we leave, normally this works like clockwork. However last time they were ‘overbooked’ so I was panicking that I couldn’t/wouldn’t have chemo this week. Turns out it’s the onc’s appt book that was full, not the chemo ward. The lovely ladies on the unit reassured me I would get chemo bu they didn’t want me turning up at 9 only to wait till 12 or so to see the onc. They’ve told me to ring the afternoon before and they’ll let me know my time, that’s if I’ve not heard back form the onc’s secretary. In fact she was the one that was p*ssing me off - 2 voicemail messages left and countless calls that weren’t answered, but eventually someone did get back late on Friday so I should know soon. Having said that I’m really not looking forward to this dose, my nauseousness at the very thought of chemo has not gone and my veins were really sore last time and have all seemed to harden. I’m determined they’ll find one this time round but don’t want to go through what the lady in the next bay to me did last time with it taking 8 attempts to get a vein! I felt so ill just sitting next to her and seeing it all happen.
That’s my moan over with, enjoy your day everyone, if you can, and hope you are all in good spirits.
Take care
Nicky xx
Hi all
Where would I be without you all. I think at this stage the people around you start to wain a bit and dont listen so much do any of you find that. Maybe its because I was so well on the Epi and wouldnt let anyone in when I was sick on the CMF but hey ho.
Well got my fighting hat on again and I’m going for CMF no 2 on wednesday I’m hoping No 1 was just a blip and that things wont be so bad but got to give it a try. I didnt want it last week as I was still so weak from first one second one would have finished me off but feel almost normal again so bring it on.
Lily you are a tower of strength for everyone keep it up. What are we all gonna do when this is over its been our life now for almost a year. I know I want to do as much as I can in helping other that are going through this. So August next year i’m climbing Ben Nevis a whole 4406ft of it its my goal so if anyone knows of a big business who would like to sponser a looney from scotland let me know lmao. i’m hoping to bring this desease to light that its not just a celeb thing and we deal with this on a daily basis and what a wonderful bunch of women you all are and if it takes me hauling my ass up ben nevis to do it I will.
oh and before I finish just one thing that happened at the weekend that I thought you might like to hear I dont know if I found this sick or just sad I’ll let you decide.
A friend at my local has suffered from slight alopecia and has bothered her for ages she has always commented on my wigs and said she would love one. But on Staurday she had a particularly bad hair day and was in tears. When I met her later she said and I quote " I wish I had cancer at least I wouldnt need to bother about my hair."
Over to you ladies for comments.
Joanne
I think my comments would be deleted by the moderator!
Take care on Weds and really hope it’s not as bad as the 1st one. As to Ben Nevis - you go girl! Great to have a challenge like that to look forward to rather than all the poxy ‘challenges’ we’re facing at the moment.
Nicky xx
Oh Joanne… You are so much more reserved than me… I’d have said careful what you wish for… and meant it!
So Nicky, this the last one coming up?
If so I shall pray to the lord of the neuts for you that it all goes ahead and is totally uneventful.
hiya all
Havent finished chemo yet, off tomorrow for bloods and liver function test (oooopppsss - vino at weekend wont have helped), then fingers crossed all being well no. 6 final one on Wednesday!!! Phew - p.s. angie, champers and cream tea, you know me toooo well, sounds fab! Can lend your OH a mad dog too!!!
Lily hope it went okay.
Joanne - cant repeat my comments, some people need to engage their brains before the mouth opens!
Getting blob checked out this week, oh and the H word, is coming back, yep, have a fine covering and a couple of stands passing the bum fluff, my head almost looks like it has hair on it - cant wait to dump the wig. Really just hope Im not jinxing myself!!!
Oh, and you wont be getting rid of me that early, I’ll be here with sympathy and for the giggle for a while - we have to hit our 1000 text!
xx
Hi,
sorry Lisa I read your post as having done it but 5 is just about there too!!! Now I am on 28 day cycles I can’t keep up with anyone’s cycle - especially on rot your brain 5FU that stops rats from knowing which direction to walk in!!! What chance have I got!! Anyway good luck with the last and eat strawberries I think Angie says, for the liver, quick rehab!!
Joanne glad to hear you are on the up and will be here for you right through you know that! Ben Nevis amazing idea.
Well now I have confused everybody. Naaaaaaaaaaaaa none of you willl have noticed !!!
It was the funeral today and the day went exactly as we planned and I actually felt very happy for her to be where she wanted to be. Some parts were tough as they should be or she would not have been anything to me. I picked the flowers and they were just as I imagined, big pink old fashioned roses surrounded by bunches of tiny white daisies and almost wild flowers that made it look like frilly lace all around the pink. I sat and cried with my brother in law and daughters and my hubby was the rock that read the eulogy through everyone else crying and looked after us all. That’s what always happens. When she was in her last few days and was worried about me and not knowing, I said I am counting on you to go upstairs and check that mine gets sorted out and she really liked this idea. I like to believe that all the close friends and relatives I have lost are with me at times and go on little missions. The oh that was a near miss and saving the children from mishaps that could have been much worse. I feel my Dad drives around in my car with me sometimes singing to the radio with me. So now I can think of her happy and that I have one more fan with all those good guys, watching my back and working their magic in little ways that we know nothing of. So now I am moving on and thinking how lucky I was to have her for that time.
Sorry I hope my views on after life don’t upset anyone, which I would not do intentionally.
Love to you all
Lily x
Awww Lily
I think that’s a lovely way to remember your loved ones and I’m so glad the funeral was exactly as planned. Although it would not have been a ‘happy’ occasion I hope you do have some good memories of it. Take care and look after yourself and OH in the days to come to make sure you don’t get too down.
Angie - yes this is the last one for me as well as Lisa - well, it should be if you’ve all cyber sent me your neuts as you’ve all go so many spare May be in a similar place to Lisa with the blood tests though as rather a lot of vino consumed over the last few days, oops, well it was a mini break for me, my OH and 2 daughters before we knuckle down to colleges and term times and getting up early in the morning - can’t wait!
Take care all.
`Nicky xx
Hi All
Off for bloods today and hopefully everything will be ok.
Lily - Thankfully everything went well yesterday I’m the same as you on the way you look at the afterlife. My Gran whom I adored watches over me always at my shoulder she makes sure no harm comes to me My Dad is there when I need a shoulder to cry on always or advice when I tell people this they think I’m mad that I talk to someone who is dead especially when I tell them I get replies LOL cant blame them really. My logical brain tells me its just me answering the question but its nice thought. I once went to a physic who told me that me Gran and Dad were always with me and asked me if I ever have problems with electrics in my house ( My dad ws electrician) I never thought about but my kitchen lights always played up you would walk in to switch them on and the wouldnt come on and then all of a sudden 20 mins later bingo. She said its was my dad letting me know he was there and was having some fun. he was always joking around so maybe there something in it who knows but it brings me comfort when I need it.
Joanne
hiya all
Amazingly got blood first time from mid arm which never got before and hurts a lot less than canula prodding - have to wait till later for results!
Lily glad funeral went how you planned and your views are nice.
Joanne - hope you bloods were okay
x
Hi everyone,
Well done Lily on getting through what must have been a very difficult time just to add to the other difticult time you are having. I wish I could feel my Dad and others were by me but at the moment I feel a bit abandoned I guess I was expecting more spiritual comfort but maybe I am not receptive enough to be worthy of it? or maybe it will come later. Anyway I very glad you have received that comfort.
Thankfully the arms are feeling better (one being vein pain and the other being hot and puffy from chemo) and I am now off the antibiotics and hopefully wont need them next time around. Have been laid out on the sofa for days feeling flattened but just today feel (almost scared to say it) a better.
Joanne how did you cope with that incredible comment from the alopecia lady? it just goes to show people really are clueless!
love to all.
Bev x
I just posted a thread under treatment for radiotherapy re nutrition in case any of you are interested…
yet again chicken stock to the rescue… I know it’s still a way off but looming and I damned if I’m going to just get more tired without at least trying to beat it eh.
I think the mushrooms may be helping with the neuts. We’re getting through 2 cartons a week now, so if you like em maybe see if that helps you all too (the addition of croissant, bacon and cheese helps… yum)
Hope you’re all having a good day, or at least marching onward (or waddling on like me, that hill’s got it in for me now, my 75 year old retired friend can now leave me standing 
Bevy… sounds like it’s hitting your emotions hard. I was a wreck 2 cycles ago. I didn’t really say so here because everyone else seemed to be having a harder time but I felt like an abandoned child. Don’t know if it helps but this time (round 5) I’m not ffeling so bad at all on that front, just digestive problems and it’s day 8 so I’m well and truly on the way down the rabbit hole.
Where are you cycle and dose wise. You’re not far behind are you? Can’t remember what cocktail you’re on…
Don’t get me wrong I’d still rather trade the FEC for a tequilla sunrise
Anyway hugs, we’re all right next to you in spirit.
Angie
hi everyone
lily 2000
Glad you coped well with the funeral, like you said your mother in law is at peace. and you have some lovely memories, you and your husband can share some quality time together and be their for each other. and your mother in law would love you to do just that. it will probably take you some time to recover from the emotional side of things, and you must give yourself that time to heal. i hope you feel relatively symptom free from the treatment at moment, and get to relax for a few days . take care
Nicky 08
So nice to hear you are having a break from chemo at the moment. i so much want that. i am waiting to hear whats the next step now.
i went for scan, and felt so sick. i hate the feeling of not going to know what affect it has when they put that iodine in you, i am a right baby
this morning i was so relieved scan was behind me, i woke up so happy, glad to be alive. that is the thing with this one minute you are up the next down,
i hope everything goes ok now, and that your body will heal nicely. take care of yourself.
love and best wishes to the rest of you…x
hiya all, will keep you updated tomorrow - slight panic mode, went for bloods this am, first time ever got it from my inner arm, bliss compared to the wrist!! thing is cos it was liver function etc. takes a few hours, so said would phone to let me know if okay and leave message on answer machine - I get so easily paranoid and worried that cos I had a binge at BBQ on Sunday and lots of wine, its affected my bloods or liver as they havent phoned or left a message, will call in morning , aarrgh would be so sad if last one delayed after all this
xxx
Hi
Just a quick post as it is 1am but wanted to thank everyone for the kindness as always. I also want to wish everyone being poisoned this week good luck especially all of you who can see that finish post. How b annoying if the last one gets delayed, lets be positive and all send vibes to tip them over that magic number. Would gladly trade you some for my stupid mouth that feels like I swallowed the sahara today, hoping it improves overnight. I see the onc on Thursday so will hope he has the magic cure or can extend the course of supplements we have to take on methotrexate. I should be grateful that the epi sense of doom and failure has been lifted. I can tell you it is the epi that darkens your day and got me many times, although not necessarily accumulative.
Good luck everyone, must get into bed or son will be late on his 2nd day in the 6th form too!! Looking for his Tom Woolfe hat would you believe! Do they do A levels in hats?
Big hugs for results, news, doses, neuts and just ordinary tough and not so tough days.
Lily x x
Lily I think are mouths are twinning… went to the pub for dinner last night, couldn’t eat it. Even the plain boiled carrots felt like they were trying to slice the insides of my cheeks… that’s rediculous. I now have visions that when they first trialled chemo they had plans for 20 doses per patient but no one would turn up after the 6 so that’s what became the norm… wouldn’t suprise me. If there were a 7th dose I’m not sure I’d go!
I’m at neuts point now ie day 9, bloods tomorrow. not feeling as dark as usual but watched a really beautiful movie called August Rush last night, you know how sometimes things are so touching that it just cuts through the soul, well this was one of those or at least it is to me as I have a very close relationship with music and it just hit home. I haven’t touched the piano or drums since I was diagnosed (I was a performing arts student and I compose music as a hobby, or at least used to) and I can barely bear to listen to the music I love at the moment, just too tender if you know what I mean. So if you’re like that too do watch the movie… but after the chemo.
Anyway not meaning to winge just warning you that August Rush is a goodie but not easy going on the emotions.
Lisa fingers crossed it goes ahead… same for you Nicky and anyone else at the end post. We have a complete outing planned for my last one, will explain nearer the time…
Lots of love
Angie
Hi everyone
Well, been to the vampires’ lair this morning and got blood out without resorting to any scare tactics like buckets of hot water etc! Having said that I don’t even bother with my arm any more - straight to the hand. Will have to wait and see tomorrow if all the nutrition, prayers and injections have allowed them to scrape over the magic 1.5 mark - don’t you love surprises! The good thing is if they got a vein straight away today I’m hoping all will be OK for tomorrow. Will be drinking loads (of water unfortunately) to plump them up. My veins have been really sore this time and quite bruised so I’ll be glad to stop the Epi pickling them I have now got my appointment time so will go with lots of questions for my onc about what happens next - probably to come back next week and have chemo then, ha, ha! I’ve not suffered with the sore mouth/gums this time round but did read Lily’s comment about Vit B so have been taking that. I’m really not looking forward to the next dose, I know what you mean about never turning up for the 7th dose Angie, but the worst bit is preparing mentally for it and being told you can’t have it. You then have to go through all of that again the following week, plus the added bonus of an extra blood test! So although this is the last one and any delays should only be an extra week I’m really dreading it, I even get nauseous these days thinking about chemo let alone having it!
Enough whinging for me, I know there’s lots of you having far harder times of things.
Lisa - hope you’ve got the gold medal by now Great to get them all done but I know you’ve got other treatments coming up so take care, rest well and get your strength back up. I was very intrigued about one of your comments about your hair coming back already. I haven’t lost all of mine so didn’t have the shiny look and I’m now watching it like a hawk to see if there’s any regrowth to cover me up. I cannot wait to not see my scalp again, I think I will then be able to cope with going ‘commando’ but at the moment I hate the wispy look!
Lorraine - hope your results are good when you get them and you know what’s planned next. A great relief to get the scan out of the way but I bet the nerves kick in at results time - I so hate those appointments. I can be fairly cheery about other things but OMG do I hate getting results - guess that’s not surprising in the circumstances!
Take care all of you, hope the mouth improves Lily and you are not too down.
Nicky xx