Am I a happy thing today or what… Lily I’ll join you in the bouncing if you don’t mind but mine is just sheer old fashioned happiness.
The pink skin has turned normal, it’s stopped itching and for the first time in weeks I feel like sleeping has given me actual energy as opposed to waking up feeling a tiny bit less tired that the night before. The weight is dropping off (mostly down to lack of appetite actually) the doc found no lumps or bumps that shouldn’t be there yesterday so all is well.
Lily yes I do have hormones to do but don’t know which yet, tamoxifen I expect as I’m most certainly pre menopausal, in fact I had a period last week after 6 weeks of nothing, and it was the first natural period in 15 years (was on the pill) best not get too used to that as the old ovaries are certainly on their way out next spring though.
well I hope you all have a great weekend… I must go stomp a collie through a woods.
Your going to love this… ok so for a cancer patient I’m pretty young at 33 and people have been telling me I look younger with my short hair and my skin has gone really clear but there I am shopping in Morrisons and the young lad behind the till who could not be more that 25 asked the manager to evaluate whether she thought I was over 18… and she had to stop and think about it…
I kid you not.
now if one of the side effects of chemo is making you look 15 years younger I can see FEC possibly becoming popular !!!
Hi oldies plus toddler Angie!!,
Well Angie what can I say. Tommy better watch out!
I have had a really horrible tummy all weekend and could not even keep in toast without a run. It has been a dilemma to decide whether to eat and drink and have crippling pains or to starve and get a bad headache. I went for the middle ground and had bad tummy aches and a mild headache, but doable! Still it is the last one so will put up with it till it goes. While lying thinking it can’t get worse I got a letter to say my op is this Wednesday - yikes. Two problems with that, one can I stop going to the loo and get better enough in time to have the op and two, that is my daughter’s graduation day and now I will miss it. I am so disappointed and will see if I can do anything on Monday but not very hopeful. We had to pay £44 to go and watch and it is local so just a mile from the hospital, so near but yet so far. I had to dial an answerphone to confirm I was going or would lose the bed so had to say yes. My daughter is ok and understands but of course one parent has to go so my husband will go to cheer her on but that leaves me on my own!!
The kids have discussed it and decided that number 3 daughter who likes medical things will take a day off work and be sent to keep an eye on me instead. Made me feel quite old. She said so what time will we be finished by? Us old hands know we could still be sitting waiting at 5pm! They have not given me any information about what they are doing, just a time to be there and don’t eat after7am letter. I suppose at least i won’t have anything to think about. I have no idea whether I am staying, need to take anything, so I assume I am coming straight out? Then just for fun I have rads planning on Friday first thing in the morning. Now wondering whether I will have dressings that can’t come off from the op and how they will do all their tatoos and stuff. I have to say I am really a bit daunted by all this and a bit overwhelmed.
Hope you all had much more fun!
Love
Lily x
Hi,
hooray cancer is good for something!!! It gets your operation day changed because the waiting list staff feel sorry for you. My op is now next Monday so Cinders can still go to the graduation ball.
Lily x
PS re cant eat stuff… I know it’s a bit late to say this but have you tried farleys rusks? ironically I managed to get through chemo without being sick once and guess what… woke up this morning with some kind of virus and sudden dash ot the loo. I just hope it’s not novovirus (winter vomiting virus) as that would not make me laugh.
anyway I’m back on the farleys for the day and thought I’d suggest them as there’s nothing to them but the do line the stomach so stop that starvation headache thing.
Oh Lily that is so unfair to have the op on the same day as your daughter’s graduation I really feel for you what rotten timing. Make sure loads of photos are taken so you can get a feel for the day. I really hope all goes well for you and that your poor digestive system sorts itself out soon. Thank goodness no more chemo!! just keep thinking of that. It all seems a bit soon to be having all that done to you when you haven’t had a chance to recover. They did that with my rads planning the day after my last chemo (although the steriods saw me throught it)
Angie how wonderful you have been rejuvinated (although you are only a baby anyway!) I will be delighted if that happens to me as at the moment I am look and feel at least 15 years older! still maybe when rads have finished I will be transformed! believe me it will take a lot that is the only benefit of the eyesight going as you get older you are not aware of how you really look!! Good luck with the hormones I have now been on tamoxifen for over a week and not sure whether the odd things I experience are down to that or the rads or even post chemo I guess I really need to wait three months from now to have full picture. I am now into my 2nd week of rads and so far so good not sore (probably shouldn’t have said that) just still experiencing arm and underarm discomfort but have had that since the op in July again I guess I have to wait till the rads have finished and my body can try to heal itself.
Well done Lorraine for getting through what must have been a very difficult day and for having such a good attitude after all worrying about tomorrow takes the energy from enjoying today.
Hi Lovelies
So glad you’ve had your day moved Lily. Although you were sounding very upbeat about missing your daughters graduation I’m sure you wouldn’t have wanted to miss it for the world - well now you don’t have to! It’s amazing what chemo and cancer does for you isn’t it? What with Angie looking like a teenager again and you skipping queues etc at least it’s not all bad
Sorry to hear you’re unwell Angie, are you sure the Farley’s rusks don’t mean you’re getting even younger? Hope you get over it soon.
I’m waiting to see if I suffer the runs as I’ve had my 1st rads dose to my ovaries and as it’s so near the bowel they can cause problems - great! Maybe I get to use the Imodium I bought when going through chemo - but never needed as the anti-sickness soon blocked me up. Good old Ond wasn’t it? which I have been prescribed just in case I feel nauseous as well, however I’ll try to avoid them I think!
A fantastic day today with treatment in 2 hospitals some 45 mins apart and not too much time to get from 1 to the other. 1st one was basingstoke (usual one) for a blood test as I forgot to do it on Friday and treatment. Up there at 8am when the vampire lair opened. Bit of a wait between this and treatment time so checked out cardiology to ask where my appt was. Saw consultants sec who said it may be another month! Not impressed. Then up to the ward for bisphos and last Zoladex. 4 goes at getting a vein - again not very impressed. My blood results were OK except for a low potassium count. Is that a problem I ask. Yes, it can cause heart problems. What heart problems? Irregular heartbeat. Duhh, does no-one even associate anything with this? I don’t mean the nurses I mean the consultants for cardio and onc. My nurse said - ‘Oh, but your potassium levels have always been low’ Ahhhhhh! So I will have at least one banana a day plus some apricots to see if they help while I wait another month for my cardio appt. At least they shouldn’t do any harm. Finished at 12.05 then raced down the M3 to get to Southampton for 1st rads appt at 1.06. Made it in time, scoffed a bit of lunch that I’d taken with me and then waited about 45mins to be seen! I should have known, my previous rads appts never went to time. Oh well, I’ve learnt something today and am 1/3 of the way through my rads - only wish it were as quick for all you ladies. Should have fried ovaries by the end of the week. Not much of a date this week though, just 2 ladies to help position me and a bloke to look on! I’m making sure I’m wearing my best lacy knickers as I’m not having them talking about me when they rush out of the room
Must dash as feeling tired with all this treatment today but love to you all and everyone I’ve not caught up with.
Nicky x
Hi,
Nicky I am so glad your sense of humour is still bursting out everywhere despite being manhandled so much - what a day. I am amazed you got it all done and then driving back too. Take it easy tomorrow to catch up with yourself. I am having a chuckle about the knickers and also concerned whether I would have any suitable for such an occcasion, if it was me? How have you been getting on, are there are SE yet? I hope if you get them, they are not too horrible but having immodium handy is a good idea. The Potassium thing is a joke? I am surprised you didn’t tell them to get their act together, that could be causing all your problems. I heard bananas are good for the stomach mlining as well as for potassium so you might get a double edged remedy with them. Hope the rest of your appointments can be a bit calmer, are they all done this week? It is a quick process isn’t it?
Bevy well done for getting so far with rads, is it a problem with your arm at all? You have zoomed past me, speedy gonzales. How many rads are you having? I spoke to a lady who had 30 rads and had to drive into London each day and she said her trouble did not start until after number 15, so hopefully if you don’t have a big load you will be ok. I think it must really depend a bit on your skin tone. Well I hope so as I couldn’t burn if I tried to when sunbathing. After a week abroad I look like I caught a bus through Southend on sea and forgot to get off!
Angie really sorry to hear you have been unwell and hope it does not last for long. Thanks for the rusk tip but hopefully on my way out of it but sticking to carbs as much as possible for a bit longer just in case. No fast sprints today!!
Lorraine how are you, I know these sad days stay with us for quite some time afterwards. Hope you are your usual positive self and ok. Lisa how are you feeling from the op now? Julia way hay for the last tablet and champers tomorrow. Congratulations and well done. The final runner comes on yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
I am picking up from the last dose now, certainly I could eat today even if I did have to think carefully what I was eating. Moving the surgery date seems to be better all round as I can now have rads planning without a dressing and new wound. Apparently they might have sent me away. So this has become a good week again and went shopping to celebrate, my son being the biggest beneficiary of my retail therapy. He is growing like a weed again so nothing is long enough. Buying big long jumpers for him was like buying a duvet for me!! Tall boys are so funny because other people think they are so much mature and older but they are actually probably the softest of them all. He has a part time job and was invited to a leaving do at a pub. He was anxious to know if he could go in, buy anything from the bar, where the door to the pub was !!! etc and they were trying to take him to an over 21 club for the night. He had to come home because he has no id to get in anywhere. I don’t think that will last for long as he could pass for 18 now, then the nights of worry!!!
Good luck for the rest of the week Nicky.
Lily x
I just wanted to say woohoo to Julia for the last tablet today.
I may be a bit quiet for a few days as it has finally managed to floor me. I was just starting to pick up when poor OH develops a cold, which I am now fighting and I’ve got thrush again and I’m knackered from work already. So going to have to just sleep a lot for a few days so if you don’t hear from me don’t worry I’m just out for the count on the sofa.
Hi - just a quickie - thanks for the woohoo Angie, got the champers on ice - like in the garden - sausages cooked awaiting dosing with honey & mustard or sweet chillie and fireworks ready to go. Can’t bloody wait to see the end of this. Sorry you are not feeling good Lily, will tallk more later in week.
hiya all, sorry Ive been missing, had a horrendous few days, my aunt was in hospital as the morphine drugs they gave her caused her confusion, hated seeing her vulnerable and stressed and confused but was hoping out tomorrow, unfortunately sh got het up about sleep and things and went missing out of hospital in her nightie, hitched a lift to her old home where her two eldest live, they took her in, made a cuppa and went to phone her ex husband to tell him to alert police as everyone was looking for her throughout the night, she sneaked out in some trainers and was all confused it was minus 2 and early hours, we couldnt find her, searched and searched, it was freezing, she was confused and very week, I tried to stop her daughter searching at 8am but couldnt hold her back so my dad’s family went with her, they found her body in the river and I had to deal with ehr daughter who found her and tell my parents, it was awful for everyone and I deep in my heart cant believe she knew what she was doing or done it on purpose, as she’s suffered 6 lots of chemo and done it all as wanted to fight for her 4 kids who she looked after, she had sorted out boxes and funeral details with her youngest and my mam. I cant conprehend that she would do it behind the old house where her two eldest live and youngest was staying. God, sorry for bombarding you with all this, needed to get it off my chest as devastated.
Also, genetics again tomorrow for another chat, bone scan cos of back pain, got a mild case of lymphodema and going to see about it in Jan and getting my pills, cant believe you have to pay for them. Got arimidex for 5 years and bone stregtheners for 15 years!! The joys xxx
I don’t know what to say that is just so awful and I am so sorry for all concerned what a horrible thing to happen poor woman and what a terrible shock for you all. I hope tomrrow goes well for you.
Lily I must have been writing my comment when you sent yours in about the date changing I am really pleased for you. I am having 15 rads so hopefully it wont be as bad but still having trouble with the arm and underarm it feels as if my body has packaging inside it and i would like to take it out really weird feeling and my hand and wrist keep getting puffy. Still I will have to wait until rads finish to get it checked.
Julia enjoy your champagne!! well done
Nicky just can’t believe they haven’t put 2 and 2 together before now! hope the bananas do the trick.
lisaf,
so sorry about your aunt, like you i think it was more likely an accident,
i dont think anyone would suffer 6 chemo’s and then choose to end their life like that, i pray her family will help each other throught this difficult time. and hope you can find some moments of peace as you start your next part of your treatment.
lily 2000
glad you nearly got effects of last chemo behind you. ( that made me laugh, how ive wrote that, it could be took another way). i noticed you spoke about surgery, can you remind me what you need done, my brain is still playing up. im sorry its falling on the same date as your daughters graduation, thanks for your concern, like you said it does take a while to pick up from these sad events around us. i wasnt doing to bad, but hubby is being a bit of a pain at moment. (bless him) when he gets upset/worried/fed up, he becomes horrid, moaning about everything, especially money,. if i ask him for any hes not to responsive, so it looks like i will be heading back to work sooner, than later. i was hoping to have grown my hair back, and perhaps go after christmas, but well see… people say he shouldnt behave like this, etc , while your ill, but we cant change the way people are so i need to become more resiliant to it, and keep being positive, which is difficult at times.
hope you treated yourself to something, when you went shopping.
nicky 08
hope you sail through the rads without too many problems. take care.x
Hi,
Oh Lisa as I was reading that I was hoping it would not end that way. I can’t imagine how terrifying that time must have
been for all of you and especially the poor children. I am so so sorry that it ended that way for her, and for everyone else to to try to calm to terms with an even worse situation than she already had. I am also thinking that another funeral is going to be very hard for you. I think that she possibly believed she was ok again and was going to do something, perhaps thought she was in the past. She wouldn’t have known what was happening and when it is cold she would have drifted away so gently without any pain. Helping all the people left behind is the hard part now and I will be thinking about all of you. I am just in disbelief and sadness for you. Big hugs mate x x.
Angie tuck up and get well soon x.
Lorraine I am just having the port taken out my chest. It is a quick procedure but a bit wobbly about the tubes being oulled out my neck vein and hear with me awake. Big baby! They moved the date to next Monday so I can go to her graduation, which is tomorrow morning. Rads planning on Friday. Oh dear old Victor Meldrew, mine worries about things like throwing away out of date food then wants to buy enormous tellies! They are definitely from another planet sometimes. Give him a bit of fuss and see if that helps. I think they think that once chemo stops things revert straight back to how they were. Not that easy though. You go back to work when you feel it is right for you and I hope you find something nice x.
Bevy swelling might be something to get checked out, in case it is lymphoedema starting which needs exercises too! As if you needed more. I really would keep going back because in the early days so much more can be done than if the fluid stickes there and I would hate to think of you still having this after you have finished. Do you see the onc when you go for rads, to ask? Take care and I will be hoping to here there is a bit of improvement for you soon x.
I think all our hormone pills will be free from April, when the new thing comes in for cancer patients. Also Lisa you can ask for extra months on each prescription, just ask a nice doc at your practice. Boone scan will hopefully put an end to your worries about your back, which have been for some time now. Have you got a new chair at work yet? It might help.
Julia I am back up and bouncing gently, thanks. So so pleased for you and once again yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay for the final pesky tablet. Hope you had a nice evening and plenty more to come now x.
Hugs
Lily x
Oh Lisa, that is so dreadful I really don’t know what to say honeybun. I doubt if anything I say will help with the situation but please know that I’m thinking of you and your family who are now having to go through such an awful time. I hope you can support each other and remember the good times - even though I don’t suppose they are at the front of your minds at the moment. Wishing you strength to go through this funeral and the difficult times that follow. Take care and do use us (as we all have done) as a ranting or sounding board. xxxxxxx
After such awful news I’ll just do a quick catch up.
I did feel very tired after rads but I suppose the extra driving and other treatment didn’t help. So had an early night and fought off the nausea with the wonderful ‘ond’ tablets I’d been prescribed. Oops, forgot they give you wind so suffered with that yesterday evening and couldn’t think why to begin with, even though it’s half a dose. Not looking forward to all this again when I go later today. Then have one final one on Friday. Don’t suppose I’ll be doing too much over the weekend, especially if it’s cumulative as most rads are. I didn’t think I’d suffer as I breezed through (as much as you can) 30 rads before but because this also hits the lower part of your bowel it can make you nauseous.
Hooray - Julia, you’re done! Hope the bubbly and bangers went well! Bet you’re glad! Hope the next part goes well and you’re feeling better all the time.
Angie - hope you’re picking up, take it easy and take all the good stuff that you know you need to help you.
Lorraine - sorry to hear OH is not being easy. I guess you know him so well that you know why he’s being like he is but must be difficult for you. Hope you do find a nice job when you’re ready for it. The hair bit is so difficult isn’t it? I’m still in my wig out of the house but my hair is coming back thick and fast. However not that it looks good! Will take the plunge after Christmas probably but only because I probably won’t be able to fit my wig on over it by then.
Lily - hope the graduation goes really well. A nice crisp day for it. One of my friends daughters had hers on a pouring wet day earlier this year which isn’t so good when you want to take photos.
Take care all and everyone who I’ve not replied to - sorry.
Nicky xx
hiya all, thanks for all your support, I really dont think she meant to do it, not the way she fought for her kids, its just a sad way to happen after all she’s fought. Just brought back lots of horrible memories of searching for my husband.
Anyhow, mam, dad and brother off for genetics blood test today, really hope my mam hasnt got the gene but to be honest I think both might have it.
Lily - hope things go well tomorrow and good luck for Op next week x
Angie - hope you are feeling a bit better
Nicky - you will be glad when Friday out of the road x
Julia - congrats on being done and you pick up soon
Lorraine - thanks and hope you are doing okay
Bevy - good luck with the rads. I have slight swelling to elbow and arm feels like a ton weight and swollen at night a bit - they think I have slight case of lymphodema so seeing about it in January
Heya Ladies. I’m feeling a lot better today actually.
Lisa. I was thinking. Lily pointed something out about being cold. If your aunt was on morphine she may have not really felt the cold out there, ie she may have been calm. It would fit with what you say about her not fighting this hard all this time to give up now, maybe she just succumbed to the cold and wasn’t aware of it. I know that really doesn’t help much but just wanted to point out that she may have not been suffering too.
Hope the genetics tests prove better news for your folks. I’d be surprised if both parents have the gene too, hoping one or even neither do for you, as it is possible it just mutated in you.
It really is so unfair that you and your family have had sooooo much to deal with… Hoping next year is much better for you all.
victor mildew, thats exactly what i call mine when he gets one on him. and just like yours he moans about out of date food and lights being left on,then of course go and spends his hard earned cash on teles and suchlike. i may have a job lined up, i saw someone i knew today from one of the churches ( the vicars wife) and she said they need people at a new nursery they have set up. sounds great ,. filled a form in and hoping for the best! sorry you got to have your tubes took out, i too would be petrified, but i think u r braver than you think. so glad you can go to the graduation, (party time)
got to go, son and his mate being a pain, and they have messages popping up all over the screen. aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Hi,
well it was one of those nice forget you have anything wrong, normal again sort of days. I was so pleased to go the graduation rather than being opened up again. Little chap was in nursery for the day so she was able to just enjoy a day just for her for a change. I decided to wear a skirt for about the first time this year and my legs were frozen, not realising a pavilion was a fancy tent really. I was so excited when she went up and then a few minutes later had the urge to burst into tears. Then that went rapidly into the dark thoughts about being there and almost lost the plot. It caught me out totally as I thought I had that bit under control after all these months - wrong! Fortunately it was very crowded and everyone was looking at the graduands so no-one noticed my face distorting, tongue biting, mad blinking for 5 minutes, not even my husband next to me. It seems I have changed to crying at happy things now, which always makes you look such a softie. I also picked my Grandson up from nursery later and spent the evening watching Babe, so we had to have a very serious discussion about whether pigs can really talk and why the pig thought he was a dog. He is at 600 questions an hour stage and keeps saying why until you give exactly what he is expecting in way of an answer. Such a nice day, as good as a dose of medicine.Hope you are feeling ok to anyone who had not posted since my last one.
Lorraine I think they cloned Victor and spread him around the country! The job sounds lovely so I hope you are successful in getting a position there. So positive just like you, working with littles, perfect. Good luck. Angie are you feeling a bit better now? Hope so.
Lisa I am sorry that this has such strong memories for you and it is such a terrible situation that there is little people can say to help except to listen. I assume there will have to be an inquest and maybe an inquiry into the hospital’s lack of care too, which is added stress. When my Dad died abroad we had quite a wait as had to have 2 autopsies and it is much harder when you have a long wait. I hope they can sort things out quicker for your family. Maybe you should talk about it to the genetics people as they may advise waiting for results while everyone is so raw about your Aunt or offer more support to the people taking it. It is a lot to have to deal with at one time for whoever gets the bad news. Sending you cyber hugs and just keep talking to us if it helps. I wish I could do more for you x.
Hugs and lots of luck Nicky for the rest of the week, really hoping the bowel trouble is not too awful. keep thinking about not having the mega needles any more to see you through.
Lily x
