Hi,
This is my first time on here. So apologies if I ramble or this seems pointless.
I was diagnosed with breast cancer in April following a lump I found. It had spread to 5/14 lymph nodes and I have had a left mastectomy and auxiliary clearance.
I am 36, with an 8 year old girl.
We also sold our house (pre diagnosis) in April to do a complete Reno … which is being done by my husband but due to my immune system we cannot live there currently , so are staying with various family members.
This is making recovery from chemo tricky….
I’m having a low time and wondered if anyone had any words of encouragement?
I find myself jealous of all my freinds and family living their lives, going on holidays, taking their children out for dinners / busy places and having FUN where they are not constantly tired.
I am having EC every 2 weeks. I have one more to go then 4 rounds of pax. The two weekly schedule is gruling as I’m sure you know and looking after my daughter whilst my husband is at work all day then renovating the house at night is taking its toll.
Family are there for me.
But no one understands.
I just feel lost / not myself - and bitter. Jealous and bitter.
I know I should be positive and thankful that I am getting treatment to hopefully give me so many more years (fingers crossed) but I honestly can’t shake the sadness….
Any help appreciated.
And nice to meet you. X
Hi,
I am so sorry you are having to go through this, you are young and this should not be happening to you. What I did find, when I went through chemo last year was that my mood was very low. Physically I was exhausted and I tried for the sake of my family to continue as normally as I could. However once chemo was over and physically I felt better my mood improved and I felt more positive. Like many of us I am still on treatment (Abemaciclib, letrozole and zometa infusions ) but they are nothing compared with chemo. Be kind to yourself, you will get through this.
@ourkirst - I just wanted to reach out to you and say hang in there. This is a really, really tough thing that we are dealing with and no wonder you feel low, resentful and jealous, I know that I certainly do. Like @shade said, chemo itself is gruelling and can make your mood (and body) feel rubbish and you’re on a pretty harsh regime.
It will get better but there will be peaks and troughs on the way. I’ve finished chemo and just had my surgery. I’ve spent the last two days sobbing with the anxiety and unfairness of it all but slowly I’m starting to feel a little better…
Are you on the chemo starters group for the relevant month? I’ve found that to be such a huge support to me - I consider them to be friends now and wouldn’t be without them, Emma x
Thanks both.
I’m sure I’ll get there… just having a particularly bad week I think with side effects and my emotions and fear of missing out on everyone’s plans!!
I don’t know the month of chemo chat but I will have a search for it.
Thanks both for replying - honestly. It makes me feel a world less lonely xx
understand your feelings …they are Completely valid…i had chemo in lockdown and remember thinking oh well its the same for everyone…but to see everyone going about their lives, going out, having holidays must be very hard …no answers…just to say wishing you well and hope time passes quickly for you