Comfort please ..really struggling

Hi…so far in my journey i have found the support on this site invaluable…need u all more than ever now as I’m really struggling…two weeks ago my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer from what we thought was a chest infection caught on the plane after his holiday…today I 've sat holding his hand whilst his body slowly shuts down…its all been so quick and watching and waiting when there’s nothing i can do hurts do much… I also took the call today that I start chemo on the 1st May…can anybody tell me how late I can leave having my hair cut, its currently quite long and as I’ve read on this site its best to have it cut short before it falls out…it may sound daft but I don’t want to distress dad by turning up with a different look …I want him to remember me as I look now and not to worry… any advice would be appreciated xx wax xxx

Hi Wax

Im so sorry to hear what you are going through and now your dad x

I bought my wig prior to losing my hair…looked like my own hair…and I wore it to see what people thought…they didn’t notice until I said…so a possibility to but it now?

Most people start to lose thier hair after first course… around day 14+…some much later…

You could try the cold cap which is meant to stop you losing yur hair…but I have never met anyone it worked for…However, it does depend on the treatment you are having…some chemo is more aggressive than others…but most result in hair loss.

I am a nurse and I lost my dad to lung cancer…I know how difficult it is…but he will just be content with you there…and remember his hearing is his last sense…he will hear you tell him you love him …

Im so sorry there is nothing more positive I can say…other than don’t fear the chemotherapy…it is out thoughts that make it scary…I was afraid whenI went…then kicked myself for the sleepness nights worying about what it would be like.

The actual administration is not painful and is very calm… side effects are well controlled and the major side effect is feeling tired…

I hope this helps you in some way…take care …Donna.


Hi Wax

I too am so sorry to hear about your Dad, to say this is a very difficult time for you and your family is an under statment.

I started my chemo last may and finished in september. I used to have long blond hair down to my waist on the wednesday before i started chemo (which was on the friday) I had it cut into a short bob but left it long enough to tie bk.I thought i would give the paxman cold cap a try and im pleased to report it was very-very sucessful i lost a bit on the top so i pinned my fringe up to hide it and when the summer came and every one was complaining about how hot they were in thier wigs i was glad i stuck with it I would recommened any one to give it a try,how ever my cousion went through all this in 2012 she didnt cut her shoulder length hair and she started to lose hers on the 2nd treatment but as you know we are all differant.Good luck with your treatment. Yvonne

Donna, Yvonne… thank you so much for answering …your kind words and advice have really helped me in this dark time…I have thought about the cold cap but my oncologist was less than positive about the pro’s out weighing the cons so I 'll go with the inevitable hair loss …hopefully from what you say I can leave it for a while perhaps till after my first treatment even…?? Just can’t bear it at the moment …life has battered me with both ends of the shi**y stick need to paint that smile on and carry on …

Wax so sorry to hear about your torrid time, it never rains but it pours!
I have just had 2nd session of chemo and only a few stray hairs have fallen out so far. You could line up a wig to have at the ready, but you may be one of the lucky ones who doesn’t lose too much hair. It’s the luck of the draw I am afraid! Some good advice on this board for you. Stay strong ! x

Thank you all for your words of comfort…sadly dad passed away in the early hours of this morning…very quickly but peacefully…xxxxx

So sorry Wax2014, my thoughts are with you at such a difficult time… I can only imagine how difficult things have been for you and your family,  take care and stay strong xxxxxxxxxx

Dear wax2014, I am so sorry to hear about your dad. What a very difficult time for you. I know I can’t say anything that will make it easier but after reading your post i just wanted to reach out to you. Lots of love xxxx

Wax I am so sorry about your dad but glad that he slipped away peacfully. Take each day as it comes and do put yourself first now.

May it be a comfort to you and your family that others are thinking of you at this very sad time. x

Ladies, sorry haven’t been on the site for a few days…had to say thank you all, your kind words have given me great comfort knowing that there are so many thoughtful ladies on this site even though you all have your own personal battles to fight at the same time xx