confused and scared

Ive just been diagnosed with non hormonal breast cancer, was told on Tuesday, its stage 1, grade 3 and about 1cm, the ultrasound didn’t show it in my lymph nodes. Im so angry because ive just moved into a wreck of a house with my two sons, one who was going through AS exams when i had the biopsy. I was told after the biopsy i would probably have a lumpdectomy then radiotherapy but when i came back in this week was told i would also have chemo, i felt sick and shocked. My dad is ill and old and my sister is going to tell him tomorrow , my friends are lovely and helpful in varying degrees but im sick of being told how brave i am, im a private person so don’t bang on about it but its hitting me in waves. I suddenly nearly threw up yesterday and started crying out of the blue. I haven’t gelled with the breast care nurse who seemed brutally honest, yes i would probably loose my hair etc, feeling totally alone and scared. the biopsy has been sent away for another test as its ‘borderline’ ??? for a certain type of treatment ( i was too shocked to take in what the consultant said)

Hi wiffle and welcome to the BCC forums where I am sure the support will be a great help to you

Please also feel free to all our helpliners for further practical and emotional support, our team are on hand weekdays 9-5 and 10-2 Saturdays

I am posting a link to the BCC ‘Just diagnosed’ area of the site where you will find information and more support ideas from BCC including our ‘So done like me’ one to one support service, I hope you find this helpful:

Take care
Lucy BCC

Hi wiggle

I was diagnosed on 20th may two days before we where going on holiday. On our return from holiday I too was then told I’d need chemo before surgery my whole world came crashing down. Since then like you my sister told my dad the devastating news who also doesn’t keep very well. Don’t feel alone, since joining this forum I have learned to come to terms with breast cancer, before I couldn’t even say the c- word. To say I’m not looking forward to the chemo is the understatement of the century. Should start in the next 2-3weeks and they way I’m feeling right now I’m gonna kick some ass. This forum gives you slot of support. I feel positive about the treatment but my main fear is the hair loss. Devastated at the fact that a May loose it all. Have to keep telling myself it’s a small price to pay, doesn’t make it easier though. Hope everything works out for you and like I said this forum has been a lifeline for me. Xxx

Hi wiffle

I too am very scared even with all the knowledge. I have done nothing but research since my diagnosis. I have good and bad days and many a meltdown. It’s such a hard thing to take in. I’m not ready for this to beat me. I will fight this and you will too. Cancer has ruined the rest of this year for me but I’m not gonna let it ruin the rest of my life. Hang on in there. Us woman are made of stronger stuff. Even typing this is making me feel stronger. Good luck xxx

Hi jennifed
I’m doing ok, just getting ready to go for heart scan. Getting my hair cut beginning of next week just to shoulder length. Wig fitting on sat had to change the appointment due to heart scan. Haven’t mentioned the new drug to be honest totally forgot about it. The hair loss is still a major thing for me. To be honest I’ve tried to put it to the back of my mind until it happens. There’s talk of starting chemo next thurs but not confirmed yet. The sooner the better for me this waiting game is killing me. Xx

Hi I haven’t been on site as have just moved into a wreck of a house- found out about the cancer a week after moving in so its been full steam ahead to get it done faster. I have had good days but feel shattered. My right breast feels sorer now than it did after biopsy a couple of weeks ago. Breast nurse too busy to chat so end up emailing her and won’t see her until 2 days before surgery so can’t really ask questions. Story keeps changing as first lumpectomy then radiotherapy now it’s op , 18 weeks of chemo then radiotherapy . Really confused. Trying to be brave but dread each time I go in as it seems to get worse. I still don’t know results of further tests on biopsy which is a pain. Don’t want to lose my hair as my kids will be upset …and me of course.

Thanks I hope it continues to go well xx

Hi hope you are ok

I can honestly say pre treatment is the scariest time. I was more worried about the hair loss than the masectomy. I had masectomy on 26 march and was lucky to bounce back quickly . I’ve had my third round of chemo yest and all I can say is drink plenty of fluids as it really helps all the side effects - I aim for 3-4 litres a day. I made decision to shave hair a week after first chemo and did feel
Emotional but my wig looks so good only ppl that know what I have know it is a wig. Some of my hair has come out but not all of it yet. I defo think it’s easier once you are physically having the treatment . Good luck ladies x

Tra16 sorry to be nosey but did u have a mastectomy because your cancer was in multiple places or because you chose too. I am due to have a mastectomy because I have multiple masses. They have not discussed what will happen after surgery. Did u get told the next stages if your treatment after surgery?? Thank you in advance for your help. May help me get my head round this :slight_smile: xxx

I found one lump of 8mm which was diagnosed with a biopsy as being cancerous and my hospital policy is to do an MRI, CT and bone scan. They found another 2mm lump and offered me a guided biopsy in London to see if it was cancerous. I decided not to go to London as I just wanted the cancer out so I just asked for thd masectomy . As it turned out the 2mm lump was pre cancerous so would have been same outcome. They said I would then have chemo and radiotherapy, but they didn’t go into too much detail till after the masectomy. I think it’s because it’s information overload.

I’ve been fortunate . I was up out of bed two hours after masectomy and didn’t find it too painful. I’m having reconstruction after treatment. I had my third lot of chemo Monday and again not too bad - like early pregnancy - nausea and tiredness. Although I know chemo affects everyone differently and you will only know once you’ve had it.

I did find doing my exercises after masectomy really helped me heal. As for chemo - they give you loads of stuff to counteract side effects and the best advice I was given was drink loads of fluids.

For me I try to take a day at a time and book in fun things to in between chemo so it’s not all about the treatment.

All I can say is for me once I had masectomy I felt relief that it was out of my body.

Wishing you all the best. The waiting and unknown is defo the worst part


Thanks Tracey. I originally found my first one just under 2 cm and after I was diagnosed with that as a stage 3 they said there was another they wanted to look at hence the fact they found number 2 grade 2 and 9mm. At least they have found them. Thank you for your advice xx Big hugs xx

Good morning ladies

just reading your posts, how very moving and I wish you all the best for treatments ongoing

I had a lumpectomy at end of may and was prepared for rads and tamoxifen when healing started but I now have to consider chemotherapy as surgeon is recommending it due to size of the tumour and my age, 53. I have an appointment on Tuesday with oncologist and I am dreading it! 

Any advice would be welcome

sheena x

Hi sheena

I was informed that I would need chemo to shrink my lump before surgery 4 weeks ago, my whole world crumbled at my feet I was totally devastated. Have to say tho this forum has been an absolute godsend to me. I’m still struggling with the hair loss part but I’m doing all I can to keep it im 39 years old who did have long blonde hair, had it cut to just past my shoulders before stating chemo . Had my first session of chemo yesterday wasn’t that bad. Used the cold cap which wasn’t very pleasant for the 10-15mins but soon get used to it. Was wrapped up warn and still needs three blankets but got through it. The advice and inspiration I’ve had from this forum alone is invaluable. Good luck xx

Hi Sheena. I don’t know what treatments I will be having following surgery but what I do know is even though it’s a scary time there are ladies on the site who have been through similar situations and they can provide u with support and advice. Big hugs xxx

Hi Sheena,

I was in exactly the same position as you in November 2013. I was told that my lump was 1.5 cm on MRI, so that I would have a WLE followed by rads and 5-10 years of tamoxifen. However, when they removed my cancer it was actually 3.7cm. My BCN and surgeon still said rads and tamoxifen, but at the MDT meeting, the oncologist said that he’d crunched my numbers and had calculated that I would be border line for chemo. He insisted on seeing me and explained that because of my age (50 at diagnosis) and the size of the tumour that he would recommend chemo. It was left to me to decide and I chose to go with his advice. It’s not easy to go through (although it wasn’t as bad as I expected), but I do feel that I’ve given myself the best chance of staving off reoccurrence by undergoing chemo. By the way, my cancer was lobular, and quite often this type of cancer is larger on removal than on scan.

Not sure if his info is of any use to you, but I wish you all the best with your future treatment. Ann x x

Can I ask is the age factor because you are pre menopause?Awaiting my results next week I am 51.

Message received Jo !I will stop trying to second guess the outcome…

No ,I get your point totally,you sussed me out!

How dare you stop me from torturing myself!