Hi…I found this website and the information is really helpful. Sometimes you feel quite alone and wonder if you are reacting normally to your situation
I can only apologise for the garbled rambling message I am about to leave. My head is so full of ‘stuff’ it’s coming out in no sensible order!
I was diagnosed 3 days ago with invasive lobular cancer Grade 2, which was picked up on my first screening mammogram. I had an MRI the day after to see if it is anywhere else in the breast/s that wasn’t picked up on that screening before they decide on a lumpectomy or mastectomy. I still can’t quite believe it and think they have made a mistake because I feel fine…but then that’s a positive in itself isn’t it…going into something like this when you feel well enough to fight it?
I know everyone’s experience is different but I want to ask a couple of questions. Does everyone have to have radiotherapy as well as surgery or is it possible to skate through this with just a lumpectomy? I have visions of being home the same day…back to work the week after and that’s that…done and dusted! I have no idea if I am under or over playing this
Also does anyone else look at their breast and hate it? I look at mine and feel like its some parasite hanging off my body right now and don’t get me wrong…I love my knockers but I am so annoyed at the left one for throwing this spanner in the works!
Really looking for some sort of assurance that all this is normal…to feel ok, angry, upset, distracted and frightened.
Hope I can march with all you beautiful women to kick this things butt!! xxx
Hi @Jukat - I first of all wanted to say that I thought your message was very clear, and you summed up exactly what lots of others, including me, feel about a diagnosis of BC. By way of background, my diagnosis and treatment were about about 4 years ago, but I can really relate to what you describe. So to answer one of your questions, yes it is very normal to feel a huge mix of emotions, certainly all the ones you describe. My immediate reaction to the diagnosis was that I wanted to run away but I knew the diagnosis would follow me wherever I went, so that wasn’t going to work. I also kept re-reading my pathology report as I too was convinced my doctor had made a mistake.
I’m not sure of the answer to your question about radiotherapy - you might want to give the nurses on here a call on Monday and ask, their number is at the top of the page, or alternatively give your hospital breast care nurse a call. From what I have read it seems like the majority of people have radiotherapy but all treatments are tailored to the individual. I had chemo and radiotherapy, so if you have any questions I’m happy to answer them.
It’s great that you have reached out to this forum, and have been able to be honest. Everyone on here reading your message will totally understand without you needing to explain. This forum was a lifeline to me during treatment. Sending you a hug and strength as you go forward to kick butt! Evie xx
@Jukat Can totally relate to everything you wrote and totally agree with @Evie-S words.
I was diagnosed last October during routine screening mammogram. Thank goodness I had the mammogram.
I too was very confused… wasn’t ill, no previous signs, also felt someone must have made a mistake even though I had seen it for myself on MRI pictures and scan. I was always double checking it was my name on the screen and not someone else’s!
Initially I was told probably a lumpectomy and possibly no radiotherapy. Unfortunately another tumor was identified which resulted in radiotherapy and tamoxifen but still many things to be thankful for.
9 months on… how time has flown… and I still can’t quite believe it.
The confusion will probably stay for a while… take each day as it comes. My approach was always to identify my best and worse case scenario…the goal posts often changed bit it helped me to eliminate worries that I didn’t need to have and stop my mind going into overdrive.
Reach out if it helps. Be kind to yourself and wishing you all the best. Fingers crossed that your treatment plan is minimal.
I have forgotten to say… yes I think it’s normal to feel alone…take whatever love, comfort you can from other people. I asked friends/family to send me positive vibes…it helped me mentally enormously.
Re: disliking your breast…yes, totally. I suddenly took a dislike to mine… then totally dissociated myself from them and talked about them as if they didn’t belong to me. Once I recovered from the op and radiotherapy I decided Ineeded to learn to ‚relove‘ them. Am so happy to still have them even though they have been ravaged from treatment. I look every morning…some days I think ‚heh I‘m lucky and they look really good‘ and someways ‚urghhh whathappened?!‘.
it’s all a process and it all takes time and effort… everything becomes normal.
Big hug to you.
This is my first post as your post really touched a chord with me. I’m a little bit ahead of you. Diagnosed with Grade 2 Invasive Lobular. Had MRI and confirmation that it is one area about 6 cms big. CT scan shows it hasn’t spread, thank goodness.
I am having a simple mastectomy and Sentinel Node biopsy, no reconstruction on Friday. Due to the position, my only option for reconstruction was a L D Flap and I felt it was a step too far for me. I don’t know if I will need further treatment afterwards and am praying I can avoid chemo but know that I have no real control over the next steps.
So far, I think I am coping well, but sometimes it just doesn’t feel real… like Im on the outside and simply going through the motions. Maybe this is my way of coping! Im scared I will have a total melt down after the surgery and can’t imagine what I am going to look like.
Lets hope that like many others on here we master whatever is thrown our way and come out the other side stronger than ever!
I’m also recently diagnosed, caught by my first screening mammogram. I remember someone saying to me the worst thing is how alone you feel. I couldn’t understand that at first, but I’m starting to feel it despite the love and comfort around me. I guess it’s because you are the only one that can go through the surgery, the treatments. However, talking to others who know this for sure as they’ve done it must really help and I hope to get some comfort from this myself. I’ve started a blog which I find really really helpful to capture my ups and downs. Please feel free to read to see if anything resonates.
IT’S ALL GONE TITS UP (robyn-may.blogspot.com)