Hi guys

Not sure where to turn, my mum has been diagnosed with breast cancer which is also confirmed to be in her nodes. They will not know any more until she has the results back from her mri and ct scan which is just traumatising. The consultant briefly rang mum and told her, didn’t make her feel reassured or see if she had any questions so mum feels like she’s been left to face this alone with very negative thinking. 

Has anyone been diagnosed with breast cancer which is in the nodes and it was treated? She went to the hospital in march with the same lump and they said everything was fine, so she’s beating herself up for it being there a while now as well. 

The waiting is just too much


I’m so sorry your mum finds herself in this position. Infected nodes are not uncommon. What it means is that they are doing their job. They are infected because they are stopping the cancer from spreading. All hail the mighty lymph nodes! 

The lymph system is pretty complex. Some bodies may have a cluster of 9 while other bodies have 10, 20… I had 19 infected nodes out of the 21 removed in full axillary clearance. It’s a common procedure carried out at the same time as a mastectomy and can provide a lot of useful data which informs what treatment follows.

This is a terrifying time. Old hands use words like scanxiety because they are just so used to long waits for results. Unfortunately there will be a lot of waiting, at times it may feel unbearable but your mum isn’t alone and she’s not the only person experiencing these feelings. I particularly identify with her sense of being alone in all this. It’s not true but that is how it feels. It’s hard to share some stuff, you want to protect those you love from the hard fact, you feel you need to conceal your emotions, you are terrified but don’t want to worry people…

On a negative point, if the delay in diagnosis has affected the extent of her cancer, there are grounds for complaint via the patients’ advocacy service. Worth bearing in mind if it would help. However, it may not have made any difference. My oncologist told me that my delay wouldn’t have made any difference. It would be the same treatment regardless (I waited 11 months because the pandemic had arrived and it was hard to see a GP - STUPID)

I hope your mum gets her results soon and they are reassuring. Treatment isn’t nice but it’s all doable, especially if you can build up a good network of support, and success rates are improving every year. If you can go with her to her appointment and make notes, that’s invaluable. You can then prompt her if there is a question she forgets to ask. Enter an oncologist’s office and your mind goes blank!

All the best

Jan x

Hi @Kissesxxx  - I’d also like to send hugs and strength to you and your Mum. I typed a reply to you earlier today but clearly did something wrong as it isn’t here now - but Jaybro has written a far better one than I did. Keep in touch - we are here to help you as well as your Mum with support and questions, sometimes you may feel that you don’t want to ask a question in front of your Mum. You might also want to call the nurses on here - number at the top of the page - if you have any medical questions. They are also very supportive. Evie xx